Playing it cool - FrenchMarshmallow (2024)

Chapter 1: Part 1

Chapter Text

Brian is almost in the driver’s seat when it happens. One second, he’s joking around with the guys, still secretly reeling from that poor attempt at a blow j*b in the backroom, the next, he’s staring at the most beautiful man (boy most likely) he’s ever seen. The boy is walking around aimlessly until he’s standing there, under the lamppost. He leans against it and looks around. He seems kind of lost and yet like he belongs here. He’s wearing the typical teenager attire, white t-shirt with an over-shirt and shapeless pants, but Brian’s expert eye immediately focuses on his assets. Luscious lips, alabaster skin, natural muscles, but his best feature, no doubt, is his amazing ass. Brian’s co*ck twitches at the sight, and it’s more than what the twink in the backroom managed using his mouth.

Blue eyes meet his hazel ones, he’s staring but he does not even care. He can faintly hear Mikey talking to him, but his mind is already imagining the kid on his knees, hands grasping the blond hair. He definitely would not get bored then. After what might be seconds but feels like hours, he decides to go for it. If they leave now, in ten minutes, fifteen tops, he can be inside of the boy.
Brian smirks and starts walking toward his prey. The closer he gets, the younger the kid looks though. Brian hesitates for a microsecond, then decides that he must be at least nineteen. Old enough right? With a new determination in his step, careful not to seem too eager, Brian makes his way toward the other guy, eyes still locked on his.

Brian only stops when he’s chest-to-chest with the kid.
“Hey, how’s it going?” Not exactly original or mind blowing, but Brian knows the effect he has on people. He could be reciting the alphabet and still find someone to f*ck in less than five minutes. Besides it’s late, and the guy looks green enough to eat this sh*t up.
“Just checking out the bars, you know.” He answers coolly, looking straight into Brian’s eyes, seemingly unbothered by their proximity. Brian is actually surprised.
“Where are you headed now?” Brian struggles to maintain his ‘too hot for you’ persona. Something about the kid is unsettling. He seems interested but unlike every other twink around he’s not even trying. Like he couldn’t care less about the outcome of their little exchange.
“No place special.” Is that an invite or a dismissal? The stud of Liberty Avenue is getting a little pissed now, and kind of turned on to be honest. It’s been a while since anything has been a challenge. Time to go for it, sink or swim as they say, although Brian has never been anything but a Goddamn Olympic swimmer.
“I can change that.” The line is delivered with the perfect smile and eye twinkle. The kid doesn’t stand a chance.
After a beat, the blond bursts out laughing.

#

“You laughed?” Daphne hangs on Justin’s every word.
“I was caught off guard! I didn’t know what to do! I mean sure the guy was gorgeous and sexy and everything, but I wasn’t about to follow him like that. Right?” Justin still cannot believe what happened to him the night before. He was about to put an end to his venture into Gay Pittsburg after a few failed attempts at connecting with the locals, when he felt someone looking at him. By looking at him he actually means undressing him with his eyes. When he lifted up his eyes, they fell upon the hottest guy he had ever seen. It was not the riveting hazel eyes, the f*ck-me hair, the tall lean frame, it was his walk. He walked toward Justin like he was ready to pounce, just so confident and commanding. It took all of Justin’s willpower not to drop to his knees right there in the middle of the busy street. How he managed to stay cool during their brief exchange is beyond him, but he’s glad he did. Although he probably could have handled things a bit better at the end.

Had he wanted to go with that guy? f*ck yes. Does he regret not going? Not really. The guy looked normal enough but don’t they always? Like this Ted Bundy guy, he read that he was quite the lady’s man. Gross.
As soon as he had laughed at the other man’s face, he had known it was not the expected answer. Brows furrowed, and lips thinned. Immediately he had stopped and started grasping for straws, saying something about needing to go home. Hot Guy had quickly lost interest and gone back to his friends and his jeep. sh*t, he probably wasn’t a serial killer after all.
“Justin?”
Daphne startles him out of his thoughts.
“Sorry, you were saying?”
“What do you plan on doing now?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, are you going to go back? Try to find him?”
“What? No. I just want to go back, find some place to dance and maybe hook up with a hot guy.”
“Seems about right. So, how about tonight?”

Justin agrees quickly. What would he do without Daphne? He’s not exactly neither in or out of the closet but she’s the only one he actually talks about it with. She’s been really supportive in his endeavor to open up to this part of himself.

#

After his usual pre-party ritual of two bumps and a shot, Brian is instantly more relaxed. He’s leaning against the railing of the catwalk in Babylon scanning the crowd for potential tricks. If he seems to only stop on blond twinks, that’s just a coincidence. He took so much sh*t from the guys yesterday. When he got back to the jeep, he just wanted to get the hell away from them and get lost in some guy’s mouth or ass or both. Instead he went back home, took a scalding hot shower, jerked off and drank himself to sleep. It’s not often that anyone says no to him, come to think of it he cannot remember the last time it happened. Be it straight guys (or so they thought), powerful tops or men engaged in bullsh*t ‘monogamous’ relationships, they all ended up with his co*ck up their ass. But this kid says no? Who the f*ck does he think he is to turn down Brian f*cking Kinney?

Feeling that he’s getting riled up again, Brian forces himself to stop this line of thought and to get back to searching for a nice piece of ass to take to the backroom. And what do you know, his eyes fall upon a tall dark-haired beauty on the dance floor. Brian meets him there, puts his hands on his hips and starts moving in rhythm with him. As per his usual MO, the stud hasn’t said a word, just looking straight in the target’s eyes with a smirk on his lips. See, he’s totally hot, that kid from yesterday must not even be queer. Above the trick’s shoulder, he notices a bulky guy looking at him. Time to up the stakes. With a sly move, he turns the guy he’s dancing with around and holds out his arm for the bulky guy to come and join them. It takes some convincing but soon, both of them are all over him.

#

After a bit of a struggle with the bouncer, Justin and Daphne manage to get into Babylon. They try to take it all in but it’s so much. Justin keeps glancing from one almost naked dancer to the next, almost getting whiplash from all the turning around. His eyes are wide, his mouth is hanging slightly open, if he doesn’t get himself together soon, he’ll start drooling. Daphne grabs his arm and leads him to the catwalk. It’s the best spot of the club, from there Justin can see the entire dance floor. Daphne is bouncing next to him, she’s so excited you would think she’s taken some of the pills they were offered about ten times between the front door and their current location. What is this place?

Straightening his back and rolling his shoulders, Justin finally agrees to accompany Daphne onto the dance floor. The music is insane, the dance floor is packed, full of half-naked queers grinding against each other. He’s a bit shy at first, swaying in rhythm with Daphne but trying to avoid any contact with the other dancers. When the next song starts though, Justin lets loose. It’s one of his favorites and the feeling of dancing here in the crowd, not having to care about looking gay and just enjoying the beat is amazing. He’s never felt like he belonged anywhere, and suddenly he’s found his home. Without a second thought he takes off his shirt, not feeling the tiniest bit embarrassed, and launches himself into the crowd caressing chests, grabbing hips, touching asses. He doesn’t even notice Daphne leaving him there to go to the bar.
That’s when Justin sees him. Well, he mostly guesses from the little he can actually see of the tall brunet, with the two guys crowding him. He has one behind him grinding against his ass and kissing his neck, the other is at his front, hands in his hair, tongue in his mouth. Justin’s torn between being turned on and embarrassed. This is what he said no to? f*ck, I’m a f*cking idiot.

Feeling dejected and frustrated with himself, Justin decides to just forget about Hot Guy and his current activities – although he has a feeling the budding threesome happening not two feet away from him will be replayed in his mind over and over again in the coming days – and dances his regrets away with a new intensity. Eyes closed, arms above his head, the beat his only companion, Justin seems to be in some kind of trance. He feels hands on his hips and a breath on his neck. He doesn’t mind and doesn’t even open his eyes. It’s only when another pair of arms wind around his neck, hands going straight to his hair that he decides to pry his eyes open and check who’s dancing with him. As soon as he glances at the two guys all over him, recognition dawns on him. His suitors are none other than the two men who were all over Hot Guy not two minutes ago. He chuckles silently.

#

f*ck me. Brian is fuming. One minute he has two of the hottest men in the club grinding against him, the next he sees them being distracted away from him by a half-naked twink. Brows furrowed, and fists clenched at his side, he stops dancing and turns slightly to take a look at his rival. What the f*ck? He knows this kid. Sky blue eyes, miles of creamy skin, a mop of angel-like blond hair. f*ck me.
Not one to admit defeat and fueled by his residual frustration from the previous night, Brian quickly formulates a plan. In one long stride he inserts himself into the trio. Blond Boy has his eyes closed and doesn’t even see him approach. Right before he lays a hand on the narrow hips he knew were hiding under that ugly shirt yesterday, he glares at his former companions and tells them to f*ck off. No one says no to Brian Kinney – well almost no one that is – and they move on to less complicated endeavors. When his eyes go back to the boy, they meet with icy blue.
“What the f*ck?” Blond Boy eloquently says. Tongue in cheek, Brian simply smirks. He can feel the other’s discomfort at first. A few snide hip movements later, he’s relaxed into Brian’s body.

Brian is not even sure what he is set to achieve. He wanted to prove he was still the master of his domain, able to get to anyone and always having the last word, but now, grinding against this gorgeous boy, he feels his determination slowly wane. Soon, he’s completely lost in the music and the surprisingly good dancer in his arms. They sway, grind, touch, tentatively at first. They don’t talk which is not unusual for Brian, but more in a ‘not talking because it would break the moment’ kind of way instead of a ‘not talking because I don’t care what you have to say’ way. At last, Brian decides that calling him Blond Boy in his head is too much of a mouthful, so he relents and speaks first.

“So, do you have a name?” He maintains an uninterested tone, like he couldn’t care less, but secretly he’s hoping that the name is not something ridiculous.
“Justin” OK, nice enough. “You?”
It’s been a while since Brian had to introduce himself in this place. Everybody knows who he is here.
“Brian” Justin smiles at that, a genuine bright smile that seems rather out of place amongst the half-naked crowd.
“So, Justin, what gives?” If Brian likes the way the name falls from his lips, he certainly doesn’t show it. He wants to make the kid pay for yesterday’s humiliation.
“Huh what?” For all his bravado the night before, Justin seems at a loss now. Good, Brian thinks, time to make him squirm.
“Yesterday you couldn’t wait to get away from me and now you’re all over me.” Brian accompanies his words with a hand gesturing to Justin’s hands around his waist, groin pressed up tightly against his.
Justin blushes and before he can catch himself, Brian thinks that it’s been a while since he’s seen something that hot.
“No, it’s just – I mean – Huh” The kid is squirming alright. Brian smirks and nods.
“Thank you for clarifying it for me.”
Justin laughs self-deprecatingly, shakes his head a little and looks straight into Brian’s hazel eyes.
“You’re welcome. So, are you some kind of stalker? Should I be scared?” Blue-eyes twinkle with mischief and Brian cannot believe that this is the same kid that was stuttering a minute ago.
“Oh, you should definitely be scared.” Brian leers. He makes sure that his smile and wink convey how he does not actually want Justin to be scared of him. Judging by the bulge he now feels against his thigh, Justin got the message.
“I’m scared alright” Justin whispers, so low that Brian is not sure he was supposed to hear it. Looking deep into the young man’s eyes, Brian can indeed see a hint of trepidation amongst the lust and excitement.

Maybe Justin needs a little guidance. On an impulse, Brian leans in to him, moves his hand from the other’s waist to his neck and pulls him toward him. When his lips land on Justin’s, he hears the boy gasp and feels him tense. Not one to step down, Brian goes for it. He licks Justin’s bottom lip and takes it between his teeth. He can feel the boy starts to relax and soon enough Justin has one hand in his hair, the other clutching his shirt and they are kissing like their life depends on it.
The music might as well have stopped because the only thing Brian hears at this point is the loud thump thump of his heart and the blood rushing to his dick. The night before, he thought Justin was hot and kind of pretty – although he would not be caught dead saying the word out loud – but now, tongue deep in his throat, he can easily say that Justin is f*cking sexy and gorgeous, he’s also soft and hard in all the right places, teenagers have it so easy. Brian roams his back with both hands, they end up tangled in his blond and oh so soft hair. He wants the teenager closer even when they are already touching from lips to thighs. He can feel Justin’s hard on in his tight pants and Brian estimates that the kid’s is quite voluminous. It’s a talent of his really to guess the size of a guy’s co*ck without touching or seeing.

Usually at this point, he would offer – more like order – the trick to move it to the backroom. Brian is no prude that’s for sure, but he prefers to f*ck in the darkness, smell of sex surrounding him, sounds of flesh pounding in his ears. A little ‘ambiance’ if you will. Tonight though, he feels that he should show more restraint and elegance, let’s say. So instead of dragging Justin to the back, he keeps kissing him, mouth now on his throat, hands on his ass – and what a great ass it is. They’re barely keeping up with the music now, so enthralled in each other that the f*cking Pope could march in and they wouldn’t notice. Their hips are locked together, searching for that necessary friction to ease the tension between them. Justin is fully moaning into Brian’s neck and hell if the older man does not revel in the sound. He pushes harder against the boy and places his mouth to his ear.
“Justin” Believe it or not Brian did not intend to say his name like this, voice all breathy and husky. He wanted to get the teen’s attention in order to move the show to his loft. The fact is that it did sound like a plea more than anything. Next thing Brian knows, Justin is shuddering against him, eyes screwed shut and teeth biting lips. Christ, did he …? He cannot know for sure without touching or asking, but Brian is pretty sure that Justin just came in his pants.

#

God, oh God. Kill me now. So normally when you have this kind of nightmare, you’re standing naked in a classroom, right? He checks himself, nope, still clothed, although his pants are quite uncomfortable now that there’s drying come in them.
He raises his head to look at Brian, not really in the eyes because for obvious reasons he doesn’t dare to, but more like at his nose and mouth. Unsurprisingly, he’s smirking that infuriating tongue in cheek smirk. Of course, he knows. f*ck. In a split-second, Justin makes a decision, he has to get the hell out of here before he embarrasses himself further.
“I have to go.” He states, doesn’t really let Brian say anything and starts to untangle himself from the older man.
“What the hell? Justin!”

If Brian says anything more, he doesn’t hear it because he’s already halfway to the bar where he plans to grab Daphne and get the f*ck out. He’s stumbling through the crowd when he feels someone grabbing his arm. For a second, he thinks Brian caught up to him but when he looks up, his eyes land on a cute kinda queeny brunet wearing a fuchsia crop top. Ok-ay.
“Hey, wait a second, I know you!” The man in front of him does not ring any bell, and frankly Justin doesn’t feel like getting hit on right this second.
“No, you don’t, sorry.” He’s rude but he feels entitled to be. He just experienced the single most embarrassing moment of his life.
“You’re the kid that was with Brian! I’d recognize that smooth bubble butt anywhere.” What is he supposed to say to that? ‘Oh yes, fact of the matter is I just creamed my pants while dancing with him five minutes ago, let’s all be best friends now’. Instead of voicing his thoughts, Justin turns to leave once again. The other man doesn’t let him though. Instead he’s extending a hand.
“I’m Emmett, a friend of Brian.” Justin awkwardly shakes the hand.
“Justin.”
“Cute. I just wanted to thank you really. It’s been a long time – like actually never – that we’ve seen anyone resist the Kinney charm. We’re never going to let him live it down. Oh, by the way this is Teddy, a friend of Brian as well.”
He points to a pretty dull older guy that seems really out of place. ‘Teddy’ just smiles faintly with a little wave of his hand. They make a really weird combo together. Justin briefly wonders if they’re f*cking. No time to dwell on that though because it seems that Emmett has no plan to shut up anytime soon.
“We laughed so hard last time when he came back to us all wound up because you wouldn’t go with him. You should have seen him, he was an even bigger asshole than usual, right Teddy? You are definitely my new queen.”
Emmett seems nice enough, but Justin does not really feel like getting praised for his performance last night after what just happened.
“I’m no hero really, just a guy trying not to get killed.” Emmett seems rather confused by this answer but recovers quickly.
“Anyway, let us buy you a drink, Cosmo on me for the one man here that Brian couldn’t f*ck. Well except for us because eww.”
“I’m leaving actually, my friend is waiting so … ”
Apparently, no is not a word in Emmett’s vocabulary.
“Oooh I have an even better idea!” He actually claps his hand at that. “You should have breakfast with us tomorrow! Do you know the Liberty Diner? We’ll be there at about 8 and we’ll be expecting your cute little butt to join us, right Teddy?”
Teddy looks like he couldn’t care less but Justin guesses Emmett is enthusiastic enough for the two of them.
“Yeah maybe.” Anything to get away from here, Brian could be looking for him and he so does not want to have a conversation with him about what happened.
He manages to leave this time and finds Daphne hovering on the catwalk. From the look on her face, she saw everything from above and she’s confused. Not wanting to get into it here, Justin just grabs her and leads her to the exit.
“What happened? I saw you two dancing, that was so hot! And the kiss, my god. Why did you leave? Did he say something? And who were these two guys you were talking to?”
So many f*cking questions.
“Look Daphne, I’ll explain outside please, I just need to get out of here.”
Something in his tone must clue her in on his mood, because without making a scene, she actually complies.
Once outside, he tells her what happened, face red in embarrassment. She only laughs for five whole minutes, which in retrospect is quite generous of her.
“So, what now?” She asks. “Are you going to see him again? Will you go to the dinner tomorrow?”
All valid questions. Now? He just wants to shower and then maybe sleep. See Brian again? God no. How would that even go? ‘Hey remember me? I shot my load all over you on the dance floor of Babylon because the way you whispered my name in my ear basically made me explode.’ Right. As for breakfast with flaming Emmett and boring Teddy, if they’re buying, he really cannot afford not to go. He tells Daphne as much and she gets that look on her face, the one he hates more than… The one he hates. She gets serious again after that.
“Where are you headed now?”
“Don’t worry about me Daph, I’ll be fine, I always am.”

#

“f*cking twat!” Brian is radiating anger when he joins Emmett and Ted at the bar.
"Hey, nice of your highness to grace us with her presence."
Any other day Brian would have had a smart retort, probably something along the lines of how he counted this as tax deductible charity. But at the moment he could only grumble, silently cursing the little twink for getting him all riled up and being such a f*cking tease.
Apparently, his friends rapidly catch on to his mood, taking the opportunity to tease him a little.

"What got your panties in a twist? Is the backroom closed due to a crab infection?”
"Nothing"
"Sure does not seem like nothing" Emmett is nothing but persistent. He suddenly grins wide and Brian, although he would never admit it, is at once afraid of what's going to come out of his mouth.
"Seems like maybe you're still thinking of your little blond, the One Who Said No, the One That Got Away, the Twink You Shall Not f*ck."
sh*t, had they seen him with Justin earlier? He took so much crap yesterday already, he cannot do it again tonight.
"Who?" He knows he's full of sh*t and they know it too. It's now Theodore's turn to mock him and f*ck what does that make him when the most pathetic fa*g around thinks he's pathetic.
"Looks like you hit a nerve Em'. Brian does look a bit … tense.” He's grinning and looking straight at Brian's hard on.
Brian feels like getting the hell out of here, but first he needs his co*ck sucked, bad.
"So Bri, what happened this time? Blondie couldn't wait to get out of here. Would be a shame if watching him walk away had not been the highlight of my night." Emmett says in his usual ‘life is wonderful’ tone, if Brian wasn't stuck on the meaning of what he just said, he would definitely make him regret being so cheerful.
" What? You saw him? What did he say? " His mouth works faster than his brain, which is something he’d never had a problem with before.
Must be all the blood in his dick, instead of his brain.
Two pairs of stunned eyes look at him like he's grown a second head, and not in a good way. They are definitely not used to Brian being out of sorts like this.
"So, answer the damn question!"
They spring back to life, looking at each other before Ted goes to answer him.
"Huh nothing much really, we just joked around with him about last night. He seemed pretty uncomfortable about the whole thing and said he had to go. He was looking around like he was fleeing from something." At that Brian tenses - even more - and Ted ever being the observant one adds " or someone."
Emmett is looking like the cat that ate the canary and Brian could not hate this more if he tried.
"Sooooo did you happen to run into him tonight? Let me guess, he rejected the stud of Babylon, the stallion of Liberty Avenue, the King of the Backroom and left him all hot and bothered?"
"f*ck off." At least this conversation has the advantage of scaring his erection away, way to go Em'.
His so-called friends burst out laughing and this is the last straw for Brian. He turns around, scans the room in one second and grabs a passing man by the waistband of his jeans.
"You'll do. Follow me." The trick looks like Christmas came early this year and follows Brian without saying a word. He misses Emmett asking Ted if perhaps they should inform him that Justin will be there at breakfast the next morning. Barely a minute later, Brian is leaning against the backroom wall, jeans unbuttoned, dick out just enough to be sucked by a kneeling faceless trick. His eyes are closed, and he will deny it with all he has, but when he comes a flash of blue eyes appears behind his closed eyelids.

#

This is getting ridiculous! What is he afraid of? He wanted to experience gay life in the Pitts right? Frankly this diner looks as gay as it gets. Emmett and Ted seemed nice enough last night, and his growling stomach is begging him to get a move on. Okay, time to be honest. He knows what he's afraid of, it's about six-foot-tall, brunet, hazel eyes, has a body to die for and a sinfully talented mouth. Christ, he's hard just thinking about it. Yes, he could run into Brian in there. The guys have not said that he would be there but if they are friends, then it's always a possibility, and Justin is so not ready to see him again after the debacle of the previous night.

Time to make a decision. Pro, eating an actual hot and greasy breakfast. Con, getting humiliated - again - by running into Brian. Tic toc tic toc. Justin takes a deep breath and opens the door. When he hears the bell ringing announcing his presence, he curses his teenage stomach for putting him in that situation.
His entrance is actually rather anticlimactic. Nobody's looking at him, the crowd keeps on talking, eating, ordering without so much as a glance for him. He uses this extra time of anonymity to take it all in, the flaming colors, the men kissing, touching in broad daylight, the overall joy and excitement of the place even if nothing actually happens.

He looks around and quickly finds Emmett and Ted, sitting in a booth with a dark-haired guy. He's kind of dorky but in a cute way. He approaches them shyly; not sure they even remember inviting him to tag along.
"Hey guys." He says non-committal, already planning his escape if they don't acknowledge him.
"Hey sweetie! We were starting to think you’d bailed on us. Come on sit down next to Michael."
Justin lets out a deep breath and goes to sit next to cute-dorky Michael.
"Michael, this is Justin." Emmett introduces them briefly, before going back to his conversation with Ted, something about jerking off at work, surely Justin has misheard them.
Michael turns to him with an interrogative look.
"So... Who are you?" Okay, rude.
"Huh Justin" Apparently Michael is more retarded than dorky.
"No, yeah, I got that, I just meant how do you know Emmett and Ted."
Justin's not sure how to answer that, he cannot just say that he knows them from that one time he was running from the hottest guy he's ever seen after coming in his pants.
"I - huh - met them at Babylon." True enough.
"Oh right, they were there last night. Hey, Em’ did you see Brian last night? We were supposed to meet there but I couldn't find him, so I went home."
sh*t. He knows him too? Justin feels his face burn, cursing his pale complexion.
“Oh yeah, we saw him right after walking into Blondie right here.” Emmett answers with a smirk on his face that makes Justin blush even harder. Does he know? Oh God, of course he does. Justin is screwed, his flight instinct kicking in, but before he can get up to leave, the waitress approaches all smile and red hair.
“Hey baby” She addresses Michael. What is going on?
“Hey Ma’” Oh okay, makes way more sense.
“Emmett, Ted. And who is this fine young man?” She looks at Justin for a second then mouths ‘hot’ to the guys. Justin is sure he’s never blushed so much in his life. Can somebody just shoot him?
“This” Emmett says “is Justin. We met him two nights ago when he turned Brian down.”
At that, both the waitress and Michael look at him like he’s from another galaxy.
“What?” She’s laughing now, tears in her eyes. “So, the day has finally come! I need to know everything.” With that, she sits down next to them, leaving her pad and pen on the table.
Michael looks like he’s been hit in the head repeatedly.
“You know Brian? What does he mean ‘Turned Brian down’?”
“Yes Michael, contrary to what you might believe Brian is no God, and the unthinkable has happened, he finally met a twink who did not worship the co*ck he f*cks with.” Justin is not sure to understand what Emmett is implying here but he feels slightly insulted.
“I’m not a twink.” Four pairs of eyes are staring at him, eyebrows raised.
“Sorry honey, but you are the very definition of a twink.” Emmett assures him. “Don’t worry, that’s not a bad thing.”
The way Michael is now looking at him seems to prove otherwise though.
“What is the matter with you anyway? Are you not into guys?” Michael is almost shouting at him now, and it awakens something in Justin. No one is allowed to talk to him like that anymore.
“I like guys just fine thank you very much. What’s it to you? Do you wanna f*ck me? Or is it that you wanna f*ck him?”
“Ouh, the twink has claws… And surprisingly good insight.” Emmett says, the second part of his sentence muttered under his breath.
Justin regrets letting his temper get the better of him, but this Michael guy rubs him the wrong way with all his glaring and questioning.
“Time out boys. Kid, breakfast is on me. It’s not every day we meet someone immune to Brian’s super f*cking-power. What will it be?”
It couldn’t be farther from the truth though, Justin can still remember the very awkward walk yesterday, with his pants sticking in all the wrong places.
“I’ll have scrambled eggs, a side of bacon, pancakes and a chocolate milkshake. Oh, and a lemon bar!”. She said it was on her, right?
There’s a pause after his order, everyone looking at him strangely. Then after a bit the waitress smiles and writes it down.
“Coming right up Sunshine.”
After she’s gone, the table falls silent. Michael seems to be brooding in his corner, Emmett and Ted not knowing what to say to relieve the tension.
Thankfully, the waitress is back with some food in no time, and Justin goes to engulf everything as fast as he can.
“Easy there, you don’t want to choke.” Ted tries to slow him down.
“Sorry I was really hungry. And I have to hurry, classes start in thirty minutes. I can’t be late.”
“Are you a college student around here?” Emmett asks.
Justin scoffs and spontaneously answers “College? f*ck no, I’m seventeen.”
Emmett bursts out laughing at his answer.
“This keeps getting better and better! The almighty Kinney, turned down by a high schooler? I cannot wait for him to get here.”
f*ck, he’s coming? Justin needs to get out of here as soon as possible. He gets up still chewing on his last pancake. His country club manners kick in and he says goodbye to the guys. He then goes to the counter to talk to the waitress.
“Hey – huh – thank you for breakfast, Debbie” He says reading her name tag.
“You’re welcome Sunshine, you’re way too skinny anyway. You should come eat here more often.”
“Yeah well it’s not like I can afford it so…” Damn him and his running mouth. She doesn’t care about that.
“Then you’re in luck kid. Our bus boy just quit on us. You interested?”
“For real? f*ck yeah.” How lucky can he get today? First free breakfast and now a job? Best f*cking day ever.
“Be there tomorrow at 7, ask for me.”
“I will, thank you so much Debbie.” He flashes her one of his special smile.
He opens the door and goes out, already knowing that there’s no way he’ll make it to school and change before his first class. He’s in the middle of writing up an excuse in his head when he collides into a hard chest. He raises his head and finds hazel eyes and a tongue in cheek smirk.
f*ck.

#

“Hi.”
Brian says nothing, just stares at him.
“Huh – look sorry about last night, I really had to go. I was with my friend and her parents worry and – huh.”
Parents? What the f*ck? How old is he?!
“Her parents? How old are you anyway?”
Justin seems to ponder the question like it’s so f*cking hard to answer. Brian braces himself for the lie he’s about to hear. Figures if he wants the truth he’ll have to take down at least three years to what Justin says.
“Seventeen, how old are you?”
Christ, seventeen? He thought he was at least nineteen. Why was he even hanging around on Liberty Avenue at seventeen? That makes him, what? Junior, senior in f*cking high school. These jail-bates should come with a warning around their neck. Make that around their co*ck otherwise nobody would pay attention. Did the kid ask for his age? Like hell is he telling after that.
Brian scoffs. “More than seventeen. f*ck what is it with kids these days?”
“Just trying to get laid like everybody else.”
Is this guy for real? Brian’s been trying to f*ck him for the last two days, but the kid didn’t seem too eager to get to it.
“Is that what you want kiddo? Because trust me you’re going about it the wrong way.”
The instant the word ‘kiddo’ leaves his mouth, he internally cringes. He wouldn’t say his age and two second later would talk like a geezer. Good job. It seems like Justin likes it even less than he does judging by the daggers he’s throwing his way.
“Oh yeah? What would you have me do? Follow you to your place? Get on my knees and suck your co*ck? Let you f*ck me long and hard?” By the end of his little speech, Justin is almost whispering into his ear. Yes, to all of the above Brian thinks. Apparently, his dick agrees because he can feel himself harden on the spot. Surely Justin can feel it too with how close he’s standing.
It might be his dick doing the thinking at this point, but Brian decides to give the kid one last chance to give in. If tonight he bails again, that’s it, Brian’s moving on to a more willing trick.
“That’s one way to do it. So, tonight?”
Justin seems to be taken aback by the proposition. Good, it means he doesn’t know how much Brian wants a piece of this ass. Soon though, he recovers and answers.
“Yeah, sure. I’ll see you tonight at Babylon.” Before he leaves he briefly kisses Brian on the mouth, not long enough to give him the opportunity to kiss back, just enough to have a taste of him after last night.
After the brief kiss, Justin leaves, not looking back, apparently in a hurry. Brian stands there for a few seconds torn between looking forward to the night and wondering if he’s just made the biggest mistake of his life. Shaking his head, he finally goes into the dinner.

#

“So, nervous?”
Daphne is sitting on the stairs next to him, they share their usual post-lunch cigarette.
“About what?”
“About tonight! Losing your virginity?”
“Come on, Daphne. I’m not a f*cking girl. I’m not scared. Plus, Brian is so hot, I bet he really knows what he’s doing.”
“Right, but you don’t.”
She’s mocking him now. Truth be told, he is a little nervous. He’s never done anything more than kiss a guy and that was Brian. He couldn’t even kiss and touch him without coming. How is he going to handle being naked with him? Having Brian touch him? He needs to jerk off at least three times before meeting him, to take the edge of.
“OK, so I’m a little nervous. Mostly I hope it doesn’t hurt too much. What if I cry? God, what if this is no good for him?”
Justin has his head in his hands now, trying to block out the thousands of scenarios that rush through his mind. He’s on the verge of panicking now.
“Justin, hey, I was just teasing. Look I’m sure it’s going to be fine. Just enjoy yourself and remember to be safe.”
“Yes mom.” He says with a smile. What he would do without Daphne is beyond him.

#

Later that day, he enters Babylon for the second time in his life. It’s so weird how it feels like coming home. It’s been forever since Justin has felt that way. Without him being able to hold it in, a big bright smile appears on his face.
“Now, I get why Debbie called you Sunshine this morning.”
Justin turns to his left and sees that Ted has appeared next to him.
“Oh, hi Ted, didn’t know you’d be there tonight.”
“We’re here almost every night so you’ll get used to it. Are you meeting someone?” He asks but the look in his eyes says he already knows.
“Yes, Brian actually. I ran into him this morning when I left.”
Justin only smiles, not really knowing what to say.
“Come on, I’ll buy you a drink, he won’t be here before another hour or so.”
Justin lets himself be led to the bar, where Ted orders two beers. Apparently, nobody really cares about ID here. Good to know.
“So, tell me, aren’t you supposed to be at home? This is a school night, right?”
The words could seem harsh but the tone and look in Ted’s eyes suggest that this is said more out of worry.
“Yeah well, how do you get laid if you’re all tucked in in your bed?”
Ted laughs.
“So, that’s what you’re after? A taste of the great Brian Kinney? Wouldn’t be the first.”
“He’s the one that came after me in the first place.” Justin doesn’t know why, but it feels important to him to make it clear that he did not chase after Brian like a schoolgirl with a crush.
“I remember.” Cryptic. Ted goes silent after that.
“Have you known him long?” Justin feels like he needs to break the silence – although with the music, the room is anything but silent.
“Few years. I guess one might say we’re good friends. Although with Brian it’s hard to tell.”
“Well, it seems like that Michael guy is very close to him, given how he reacted this morning.”
Something clouds over Ted’s eyes for a second. Justin’s not sure what it’s about or if he cares.
“Michael and Brian are best friends, have been since they were teenagers. They are very close.”
“Are they together?” Justin has been wondering about this since breakfast.
“No, they’re not together. Brian doesn’t do relationships. He’s all about f*cking. He takes what he needs and moves on to the next thing, or guy.”
Oh.
“Are you trying to scare me?” Ted smiles gently.
“No, just warning you. Don’t expect too much. He’s probably gonna rock your world, but don’t think too much of it. Tomorrow you’ll be yesterday’s news. Don’t kid yourself into thinking this is something it’s not. It’s just a f*ck.”
Justin just nods. ‘Just a f*ck’. He’s only seventeen and a virgin, he’s not planning on getting married. Sure, Brian is hot, and he has this aura, like there’s a lot behind the facade and Justin could get lost in his eyes for days; but Justin knows that life is no fairy tale. If tonight is all he gets so be it. He’ll embrace it, take what he wants, enjoy it and leave with a great memory to jerk off to.
Just when he goes to put his finished beer on the bar, he glimpses at Brian entering the club.
“Thanks for the warning Ted, but don’t worry about me, I know what I’m getting into.”
When he turns around and meets Brian’s eyes, he wishes that was true, because at this moment, Justin’s pretty sure he has no idea what he’s in for.

#

The first thing Brian sees when he enters Babylon is Justin at the bar with Theodore. Is the accountant trying to take what’s his to take? Well, he can always try, Brian doubts Justin would go for it. He doesn’t know anyone who would for that matter. When Justin turns to him, they lock eyes and the blond graces him with his now famous smile, all teeth and twinkling eyes. f*ck, he’s already getting hard. Get it together for Christ’s sake.
Best defense is offense, so Brian prowls toward Justin, ready to pounce. He nods to Ted just to acknowledge his presence and then slides between him and Justin.
“I see you started without me.”
“Just drinking a beer with Ted, he was nice enough to entertain me while you weren’t here.”
In the dark with the spotlights, Justin’s skin is almost sparkling. Brian just wants to touch him.
“How nice of you Theodore. You can go now; the main attraction has arrived.”
Ted shakes his head and moves to the other side of the bar, leaving the two alone at last.
They stare at each other, sizing each other up.
“You want to dance?” Brian offers. The kid is a flight risk and he doesn’t want to spook him. Yes, he could find another ass to f*ck, but he’s honest enough with himself to admit that he probably wouldn’t find one this nice. He’s also honest enough to admit that this is turning into a pride thing. He always gets what he wants and being denied only makes him want Justin more.
“No, I don’t”. f*cking hell, what now?
“Let’s go back to your place. I want you to f*ck me. Hard.”
Eyebrow raised in question, Brian looks at Justin to confirm that he heard him right. His twitching co*ck says he did, but he has to make sure.
Justin doesn’t repeat himself, he just grabs Brian by the waistband of his jeans and leads him to the exit.
Thank god, finally.

Chapter 2: Part 2

Chapter Text

Brian gestures for Justin to come in. The younger man is looking around, trying not to appear too impressed with the space he enters. f*ck, this place is huge . Justin is left wondering what it is exactly that Brian does for a living. Surely this loft must cost a fortune. It’s scarcely furnished but each piece seems to be out of a design magazine. Justin is scared to touch anything, and he ends up standing in the middle of the space between the kitchen and the bedroom looking stupid. Brian goes about his business without saying anything, shedding clothes along the way. He grabs a bottle of water from the fridge, drinks from it and then pours its remaining content on his face. Christ , Justin just about comes in his pants – again - from the sight. He’s never seen anything remotely as hot as the scene unfolding in front of him and God knows he’s watched his fair share of p*rn in the last few months. Taking deep breaths and thinking of baseball usually works when it comes to taming the stubborn appendix in his briefs, but tonight nothing is working. They haven’t done anything yet and he is close to exploding.

Justin realizes that Brian is talking to him, but f*ck the guy is completely naked now and Justin’s tongue is stuck to the roof of his mouth and what can he say to save his cool facade? Best solution is probably to say nothing and act, so Justin finally finds the use of his legs again and moves toward a very naked Brian. The older man is holding his eyes, water still dripping all over the planes of his chest, tongue in cheek, looking as comfortable and hot as ever. The kiss that follows is weirdly slow, like they both need a reprieve from the situation. It doesn’t stay this way for long though, hands are going into hair and around neck, tongues are licking, teeth biting and nipping. This seems to drag on forever and Justin muses that he could only kiss Brian for the rest of his life and be happy about it. Is this what love feels like? Is it even possible to fall in love over the course of three days and two conversations? It doesn’t matter he decides, as long as it always feels this good.

Apparently kissing someone forever is okay when you’re seventeen but not when you’re… Wait, how old is Brian exactly? Deciding that it doesn’t actually matter, Justin catches up with the program and helps Brian get rid of his remaining clothes – his jacket having been removed a while ago. They stumble onto the bed and Justin can feel his nerves acting out again. He knows next to nothing about what’s going to happen except for the basic what goes where. Should he have brought condoms? Is it going to hurt? What if Brian expects him to do things? All thoughts fly out the window when Justin finds himself on his back, Brian straddling his thighs, hand going directly to his aching co*ck. sh*t, he’s going to come in two seconds. Well aware of that fact, Brian warns him.

“Don’t come yet.”

“I’ll try. Stop!” To make sure Brian gets the message he catches his wrist to stop his movement. If he’s not allowed to come, then the brunet is not allowed to touch.

Probably sensing his predicament, Brian starts the conversation.

“So, what do you like to do?” Oh okay, good idea, talking about his hobbies will definitely ease the tension in his balls.

“Do? I don’t know. Watch TV, play Tomb Raider.”

“I meant in bed.” Crap, what an idiot . Here he was babbling about video games when Brian wanted sexy talk.

“Oh. This is fine.” Like what he means is not mind-blowing, life-altering, f*cking great. He sure looks cool…

“Are you a top or a bottom?” He’s f*cked, he has no idea how to answer that. He can bluff his way out of this, it’s just like this history test he did not study for last week. He managed to score an A.

“Top… and bottom.” Being open to anything can only be a good thing, right?

“Oh, you’re versatile, then?” For f*ck’s sake, can Brian just f*ck him already and stop with the chit-chat? Only problem is, Justin is a talker. He should just shut up but no can do, he has to open his big mouth again.

“And ambidextrous. Which was really confusing at first ‘cause I could never figure out which hand to throw with.” At this, Brian seems torn between amusem*nt and incredulity. Justin knows he probably sounds stupid but it’s like he can’t stop himself.

“Do you like to rim?” Brian makes it sound so hot that he has to agree. Honestly this man could make him confess to killing hundreds of people with how his lips form words.

“Sure. I love it!” Nothing wrong with a little enthusiasm.

“Great. Go to it.” Justin freezes. This is way harder than the history test. Brian probably knows he’s full of sh*t now. Justin takes a deep breath and decides to risk being honest.

“Hum… so the truth is I don’t really know what you mean.”

“Oh really?” Brian tries for the innocent act but even he cannot pull it off. Justin goes on without acknowledging his answer.

“I – Hum - The thing is…” f*ck, he’s looking like he’s having a stroke now. Just be a man and say it .

“I’ve never - you know - done this. Before.” Justin closes his eyes and turns his head to avoid Brian’s eyes. He misses the way they soften for a second before going back to their playful twinkle.

“You’ve never been f*cked, I figured. So, do you wanna?”

Is it really that simple? Justin wasted so much time agonizing over this, and in the split second following Brian’s question, he knows in his heart that’s what he wants.

“f*ck yeah.” And so, it begins.

Brian leans down and kisses him deeply, he thrusts his tongue into Justin’s mouth and holds him by the jaw. He’s in total control of their interaction and Justin enjoys every second of it. Their conversation had tempered down his arousal but now it’s back full force and he feels his co*ck harden against Brian’s stomach. When Brian releases his jaw and moves lower to his throat, their co*cks brush against each other and Justin moans loudly. He’s self-conscious for about a second, but when he sees Brian’s hazel eyes darken to a dark chocolate, he decides that loud it is.

Without thinking about it, Justin starts to roll his hips against Brian’s, pushing their dick together even more, increasing the friction. Judging by the harsh breath Brian is releasing, this is the right move. Justin cannot get enough of touching and kissing his new lover, his hands are roaming the older man’s back, his lips are brushing against his collarbone, at times biting lightly. He wants to remember every inch of Brian’s body. Ted’s words are still ringing in his head, and if this is the one night he gets then he’s going to make damn sure it’s the best of his life. Pushing aside all fear of not measuring up to the long list of guys Brian has f*cked, Justin decides to just let sensations and instincts guide him, so far, it’s been the right thing to do. He slides his hands over Brian’s back, appreciating how the muscles twitch and contract under his touch, and grabs his ass with both hands, kneading it like he has wanted to do since he’s brushed against it dancing.

Brian seems surprised by his boldness for a second but quickly hides behind a smirk. Next thing he knows Justin has two fingers in his mouth, and Brian is ordering him to suck. He doesn’t have to think about it, as soon as the order is made he’s sucking and licking the digits, coating them with his saliva. He feels Brian’s co*ck swell even more at the gesture and can’t help but feel smug about it. No time to gloat though because one wet fingertip is now pressing against his hole, circling it slowly. Justin tries not to tense under the unexpected touch. Brian whispers next to his ear that he should just relax and amazingly the teenager does.

The feeling is new but not unpleasant and when Brian’s finger actually goes in, he surprises himself with the loud groan he lets out. f*ck, it feels good . Brian goes for a second finger then, but the fit is too tight and Justin tenses immediately. The fingers are removed, and Justin feels himself being turned on his stomach. He lets himself be settled and before he can even begin to question the move, he feels Brian’s tongue at the base of his neck. Instant goosebumps erupt all over his body and if it wasn’t trapped under him, his co*ck would have bounced. Brian continues licking down his back along his spine, making him shiver. When he gets to the curve right above his tailbone, Justin thinks he’s going to go back up and finally f*ck him. To his surprise, Brian doesn’t stop, instead, he flattens his tongue and runs it across his left ass cheek and then the right. With his hands he caresses both softly and parts them slowly. His tongue starts again at the small of his back and makes its way down, down and further down still. When it reaches his hole, Justin cries out in surprised pleasure. f*ck this is hot . Brian spends a few minutes licking around and sliding his tongue inside and Justin is about ready to explode.

“Now you know what rimming is.” Brian breathes and Justin muses that as mentioned earlier, he f*cking loves it.

“Turn around.” The older man commands.

“Put your legs up on my shoulders.” Justin obeys, every word spoken enhancing his pleasure. “That’s it.” Brian praises.

“Oh, wait. In school we had this lecture about safe sex.” Justin berates himself for bringing up his age in the middle of this, but at the same time he’s proud to see he hasn’t totally lost his mind to Brian’s ministrations.

“And now we’re going to have a demonstration.” Brian opens the condom wrapper with his teeth. This definitely should be shown in sex ed classes. “Put it on me,” He says. “Go on. Slip it on my dick.” The words go straight to Justin’s erection, as if he needed any more incentive. As always Justin complies and without fumbling too much, sheathes Brian’s impressive co*ck. Meanwhile, Brian applies a good amount of lube on Justin in preparation for what’s to come.

“Ah! It’s cold.” Apparently, Justin’s mouth is still running free. Will he ever learn to shut up?

“It’ll heat up.” Brian reassures. It’s almost funny to see how thoughtful Brian is. Despite what his friends seem to think, he’s showing an amazing amount of consideration towards Justin, barely mocking his naïve reactions.

Sensing that the big moment is coming up, Justin warns Brian.

“Just go slow, okay?”

Brian enters him in one swift motion and Justin cannot help how he cries out.

“It hurts. Does it always hurt?”

“A little bit. But that’s a part of it. Now relax. I want you to always remember this. So that no matter who you’re ever with, I’ll always be there.”

Nothing ever made as much sense as what Brian just said. Because although up to a second ago Justin was still a virgin, he knows that this is true. Some part of him will always belong to Brian. Every time someone will f*ck him, the memory of Brian buried inside of him will be there at the back of his mind, on his skin, in his heart. At this moment, Justin knows that meeting Brian might have changed his life forever.

#

f*ck, he’s tight . Brian takes a moment, making it seem like it’s for Justin’s sake, to give him time to relax and adjust to the new sensation. Truth is, even though it’s barely half-way in, Brian can feel his co*ck being pulled in and squeezed in the best way. His usual stamina be damned, the sensations make his balls tighten already. No way is he going to embarrass himself like the teenager he hasn’t been in over ten years. He takes a deep breath and concentrates on Justin’s face. He’s impressed by how the kid took everything he threw his way in stride. A few seconds ago, he was crying out in pain, and now his eyes are scrunched closed, mouth slightly open and Brian can feel his panting breath on the sensitive skin of his neck. After a minute or two, Brian starts moving, still intent on watching Justin’s every reaction. He needs it to be good for the kid. It’s not even for altruistic reasons, he tries to convince himself, but just for the fact that he wants the kid to know what he’d been denying himself those first two nights he refused to take Brian up on his offer. Even balls deep in his ass, Brian still feels as vindictive as ever.

The initial tension seems to be receding and Justin looks like he’s beginning to enjoy having a dick up his ass. Brian relaxes as well and starts thrusting deep and hard. Justin’s is not the first cherry he popped, but he doesn’t indulge often. Usually their tightness barely compensates for their lack of participation in the whole ordeal and the emotional crap that goes with it, but Justin’s different. First, despite a couple of awkward moments, he never made a big deal out of this, it’s only lust in his eyes, no sickening promises of love or romance. It seems that they understand each other. Second, although he’s not the most graceful, Justin enthusiastically raises his hips to meet each of Brian’s thrust. The boy’s determined to caress and kiss every inch of skin he can get to in their position, and Brian is already so close. Time to show this twink what Brian Kinney is made of.

Tightening his hold on Justin’s thighs, Brian takes on a punishing rhythm, he’s pounding into his ass hard and fast now. Justin is moaning loudly, barely catching his breath. His hands are gripping the sheets on his sides, knuckles white from preventing himself from reaching for his co*ck. Brian takes pity on the kid (that’s his excuse for how quickly he grants the unspoken request anyway) and removes one of his hands from Justin’s thighs and starts caressing his face. He begins at his cheek, barely touching, then his jaw, going lower to briefly circle his delicate throat. He continues his travel to Justin’s collarbone, stops at his nipple to lightly tug on it, which earns him a full blown ‘f*ck, yes!’ from the teen, he goes down to his abs and ultimately reaches for his final destination.

He fists the blonde’s co*ck and strokes it in time with his thrusts. Justin hisses below him, throwing his head back into the pillow. That’s when all control is lost on both sides. Justin is almost screaming his pleasure and his ass is clenching furiously around Brian’s dick. Both actions combined put the infamous top in a frenzy, he’s thrusting erratically, all cautiousness about how hard he’s going on Justin gone. His eyes are closed, his fist tugging on the other’s co*ck at a furious pace. His moans rivals Justin’s but all he can hear is the blood pumping in his head, the sound of flesh against flesh. It’s barely a few seconds later that Justin comes, hot and thick against their stomachs, hands finally moving to grasp Brian’s ass and pull him in deeper, as if possible. The vision of this gorgeous boy shaking with pleasure, head thrown back in ecstasy, mouth open in a silent scream and shooting his load all over him seals Brian’s fate. He comes so hard his vision blacks out and he has to grab the headboard in front of him to prevent himself from crushing the other man below him.

#

Justin barely has time to catch his breath after that life-altering org*sm before Brian is up, heading to the bathroom to clean up. He closes his eyes and snuggles deeper into the bed. When he tries to shift on his side, ready to fall asleep, he remembers the drying come on his stomach. Gross .

Should he wait until Brian is finished? Should he get up now and join him? Should he leave? sh*t, this is so much more complicated than anticipated. He thought the worst part would be the before, not the after, but it turns out that as soon as Brian put his hands on him, everything just happened so naturally. He never felt anything like this before, like his body is on fire and the only way to soothe him is to be touched and kissed and f*cked by Brian. Just thinking about this makes his co*ck harden again.

Perfect timing, Brian is coming out of the bathroom to enjoy the view of the tented sheets. Blushing, Justin tries to discreetly hide his predicament. When he raises his eyes, Brian is looking at him like a predator sizing up his prey. God, he’s hot . Of course, this line of thought does not help at all, and Justin is now rock hard under the sheets. He sees Brian lick his lips and move toward him with what seems to be his trademark smirk, tongue in cheek.

“Oh, to be young again.”

Justin scoffs to hide his discomfort. So much for appearing cool and collected. Brian is now right in front of him and Justin’s face is perfectly placed at his crotch. Oh . It seems that his earlier remark was sarcastic because when Justin raises his face, Brian’s half-hard co*ck is right in front of him, almost daring him. On instinct, Justin takes it in hand and licks the tip slowly. If the sharp intake of breath he hears above him is any indication, it feels good. He’s a bit nervous though, not sure exactly how to proceed and wanting to give back some of the pleasure he felt before. He hesitates on his next move and then decides that the best course of action is perhaps to admit his shortcomings.

“I’m not sure how to go about this.”

Brian smiles that almost sweet smile and Justin tries not to think that this is the smile you would have for a kid.

“About what?” Justin knows Brian’s messing with him, wanting to make him blush for saying it, but sometimes he can truly be a brat and out of spite he says the next words with his most alluring voice.

“I want to suck your co*ck, I want to make you come in my mouth and taste all of you. Tell me what you like.”

If Brian is surprised, it doesn’t show. Man, that guy has the poker face of an undercover CIA agent . He puts his hand behind Justin’s head, barely pushing him toward his dick.

“Start with the head like before, lick it, suck it, don’t bite it!” Justin would have laughed at that last bit if he didn’t have his mouth full. Even his virgin ass – former virgin ass actually - knows you’re not supposed to use your teeth. Ever the good student, he does as he’s told, and he’s quickly rewarded by Brian’s panting breath and hand grasping his head more firmly.

“Good” the older man praises. Justin tries not to focus too much on how this simple word makes his own dick twitch.

“Now, you take it in your mouth, as deep as you can without gagging.”

Justin is nothing if not an over-achiever and he really wants to please Brian. He lowers his mouth onto the hard and magnificent co*ck and takes it as far as he can. His nose buries itself in the hairs at the base of Brian’s dick, his lips tight around the base of his shaft. He stays there savoring the feel of it in his mouth, he plays with his tongue trying to taste every inch of Brian.

“f*cking Christ, do you not have a gag reflex?”

Justin pulls back instantly, something dropping in his stomach.

“Is it a bad thing?” He whispers, still mouthing at Brian’s dick.

Brian tilts his head back to look at him, fire in his eyes.

“You are unreal.” He pushes lightly on Justin’s head to get him back on task. Justin beams from his place half-seated on the bed. Unreal, huh? He takes Brian’s co*ck in his mouth again, this time with more assurance. He experiments, tries different motions and listens very carefully to the sounds he elicits. He’s in absolute heaven. Being f*cked by Brian was obviously amazing, but this, being the cause of such pleasure? It’s almost enough to make him come. He looks at Brian’s face through his lashes wanting to see as much as he hears. If he could, he would grab some paper and a pen and draw what he sees. Brian’s a piece of art. Head pulled back, eyes closed, lips parted, his face the epitome of ecstasy. Justin commits every detail to memory, he’s definitely drawing this later.

#

What is it with this kid? Is he some kind of sex prodigy? The f*cking was great, but Brian had been quick to pin it on his very very tight ass. But now, his co*ck is buried in his mouth and Oh. My. f*cking. God. Justin is now devouring him, alternating between sucking the head and engulfing his whole length. When Brian hits the back of the kid’s throat for the umpteenth time, Brian puts one hand on each side of Justin’s face to hold him still and starts f*cking his mouth in earnest. He never would have believed it would come to this with how it started all fumbling and embarrassed, but the boy’s mouth is magic. Brian is usually rather composed during sex. Sure, he moans and groans, but he prefers his partners to be the vocal ones. He’s always up for dirty talk of course, but he never loses control, even tweaked out of his mind. Tonight though, he cannot prevent the loud moans he lets out, the praises and incoherent half sentences. Judging by the way Justin goes at it even harder when it happens, his young lover is getting off on it. So, it’s out of selfishness really that he stops keeping it all in and really lets loose.

After what seems to be hours but what might be barely minutes, Brian feels the tell-tale signs of his org*sm approaching. He tightens his hold on Justin’s face but stops thrusting. For the next stage he wants him to be in charge, he would not want to choke him to death.

Without being asked, Justin keeps a good rhythm. He even fondles Brian’s balls with his hands. Definitely a natural . Brian feels he should probably warn the boy that he’s about to shoot in his mouth.

“f*ck Justin, I’m close. Don’t stop.” Of course, that’s him ordering not begging.

Three seconds later, he’s coming hard, spurting in Justin’s mouth. His young lover is not at all deterred and swallows everything he has to give. Some of it ends up on Justin’s hand though and instead of wiping it on the sheet or anywhere, Justin looks into Brian’s eyes and licks his hand clean slowly. Had he been 10 years younger, Brian would probably be hard again just at the sight. Hell, even at 29 he manages to raise to half-mast.

Brian takes a few seconds to catch his breath and compose himself. He let his mask slip for a minute there but there is no way in hell he’s gonna let the kid know how affected he really was. He breaths deep, trying to rein in his furious heartbeat. When he’s thinking clearly again, he pulls his feature into his usual uncaring demeanor and looks down at Justin. The blond is staring at him, a shy smile on his face, cheeks flushed and lips all red and swollen from being thoroughly f*cked. He can see the expectation in his blue eyes. He wants to know if it was good. Brian would say it was actually mind blowing but there’s only room for his own ego around here, so he settles for a half truth.

“Not bad, it’s promising.” Justin beams at him and Brian absolutely does not notice how it lightens the whole room. Feeling a bit awkward – pillow talk is definitely not something he does – he just grabs Justin under his arms and pulls him up into his body to kiss him. Justin seems a bit shy at first, probably weirded out by kissing after having come in his mouth, but Brian coaxes him out, moaning slightly when he tastes himself. When he pulls back from the kiss, it’s with a frown on his face. Something’s not right.

“You’re not hard.” It’s not a question. Justin is definitely soft against his thigh and given the enthusiasm of the teen, this is not what he expected. Justin blushes from head to toe and mutters something unintelligible.

“What was that?” Brian insists.

“Huh, I came during – huh”. f*ck me . He came just from blowing me? Damn, if that’s not the hottest thing he’s ever heard.

#

Even after everything that’s happened so far, Justin feels particularly naked at this moment. He’s looking everywhere but at Brian, already trying to hide back in the covers while searching for his clothes. He feels Brian’s hand grasping his jaw and turns his head toward the older man.

“That’s f*cking hot.” Justin smiles, obviously relieved that he did not make a fool of himself. Brian takes his hand and gets him up.

“Time to shower Sunshine. I need you to scrub my back.”

Something flutters in Justin’s stomach as his imagination runs wild with what could happen in the shower. When he actually sees the luxurious installation, the teen’s jaw almost drops to the floor and his dick reports for duty once again. He follows Brian in the shower and winces at how hot the other man set the water.

“Too hot for you?” Brian asks, tongue stuck in his cheek.

“You have no idea.” Justin whispers. He steps under the spray of water and slides his hands around Brian, caressing all the skin he can get to. The water cascading around them makes everything glide smoothly and Justin once again wishes he could stop time and sketch the scene. How did he get so lucky? Brian is ridiculously hot, that’s a given, but more than that he’s beautiful. His eyes, the bridge of his nose, his mouth – f*ck, his mouth – his throat, his body, lean and muscular, Justin could spend days watching him move, always graceful and self-assured. Objectively Justin knows that he’s good looking. He has the whole blond hair – blue eyes combo going for him, a slim figure and a nice ass, but how a simple teen like him got to be with someone like Brian is beyond him. Surely this man can have anyone he wants.

Justin is startled out of his thoughts by Brian’s tongue in his mouth. Out of nowhere he feels himself being turned around and pushed against the shower wall. The fresh hard surface feels so good against Justin’s heated skin – he’ll probably be more lobster than human after this – but it’s nothing compared to Brian’s hands roaming his chest, his mouth kissing the side of Justin’s throat. With amazing speed, Brian puts on a condom and next thing Justin knows, he can feel the other man’s tight grip on his hips and his co*ck at his entrance. Justin is already a writhing mess, and he’s not above begging for what he wants, what he needs.

“Brian, come on, don’t tease.”

“You just have to ask.” It’s no secret now that Brian is really into words. Not useless conversation or chit chat, no, the dirty kind. The older man likes it when Justin tells him what he wants. Justin finds it really hot too.

“Brian, please, f*ck me now.”

“See, that wasn’t so hard.”

“Oh, I beg to differ, it’s hard all right.” Justin’s chuckle dies on his lips once Brian thrusts all the way inside of him.

“f*ck, yes.”

Brian keeps pushing into Justin at a regular pace, enough to drive him crazy, not enough to make either one of them come. After their previous activities, the need has been alleviated a notch, allowing them to take it slower. It does not prevent Justin from getting frustrated though. He tries to balance his weight on one hand only and goes to touch himself. The blond almost has his dick in hand when Brian swats him away.

“Nuh huh, I say when you’re allowed to come.”

sh*t , this shouldn’t be this hot. Justin learnt pretty early on that Brian is all about control. That’s fine with him, he’s used to it. That doesn’t mean that the teenager isn’t going to push Brian a little though. With an innocent smile on his face, Justin squeezes Brian’s co*ck in his ass, making it pretty hard for the other man to move.

“f*cking Christ!” Not so in control now, Mr Kinney. Justin does it again. This earns him a slap on the ass.

“Stop that smartass, or I’ll make sure you never come.” Justin pouts, turning his head to try and see Brian. He only manages to take the brunet’s mouth with his own, intending to rile Brian up and making him lose control again.

“You want to come this bad?” Brian asks.

“Yes.” Justin is literally whimpering now, his dick so hard he’s afraid it’ll never get back to normal.

“Where are your manners? Don’t you know you’re supposed to say please?”

“Brian, please. I need to come…” The words seem to trigger something in Brian, because after that, Justin can barely catch his breath between two thrusts. The blond is bracing his lean body against the shower wall, not wanting to hit his head on the cold surface. Brian’s hands are back on the other’s hips, their hold so tight, Justin’s pretty sure he’ll have bruises in the morning. Brian has one hand around his lover’s co*ck, the other supporting his weight. The brunet’s mouth at his ear, Justin can hear every moan, groan, intake of breath and more than anything this is what finally pushes him over the edge. The blond comes long and hard, legs trembling and arms now holding himself for fear of falling to the ground. When his org*sm starts to fade, he distinctly hears Brian calling his name - among other profanities – when he too comes. Justin’s not sure if it’s the position or the force of their combined org*sms, but he can distinctively feel every spurt of Brian’s dick inside of him. While they catch their breaths, Brian holds Justin close to him, both men using the other to hold himself up under the spray of fast cooling water.

They dry themselves in silence, Justin’s not sure what to do or say. He’s never felt anything as intense as everything he felt the last few hours. Ted did say that Brian would rock his world, but damn, the young man did not expect this. He knows he said he would enjoy it and take it for what it was. He would not get needy or clingy, he wouldn’t be a sissy about it, but how can he give up on this. The night was great, but Justin can feel it coming to an end now. He really doesn’t want to leave, especially since he’s not sure where he’s going to go, but he knows for sure that he doesn’t want to take the risk of tarnishing his memories of tonight. He won’t risk Brian’s annoyance, or worse Brian kicking him out himself, not after all this. That’s settled, Justin’s going to get out of the bathroom, get dressed, thank Brian for the night and leave without any fuss.

#

Brian is still kind of unsteady when they get out of the shower. He came three times in the last two hours, which is not that unusual for him, only he cannot remember ever coming that much, that hard. That last one in the shower almost put him to his knees, quite literally. If it weren’t for the shower wall and Justin, he would have ended up face down on the floor. He’s sure he hid it pretty well from the kid, wouldn’t want him to get too co*cky. Although, he would have a right to be.

The silence between them is not of the relaxed kind. That’s the part Brian feared. With his usual tricks, there are no surprises, everybody know their part. They f*ck and then they leave, Brian mostly doesn’t have to ask anymore. Some still try to leave their numbers or to arrange a second meeting, but Brian has no qualms shutting them down harshly. Justin, though… The kid is new to this, and despite what he would say if asked, Brian does remember his first time. The havoc it wreaked inside him, how his feelings were all over the place, how he had wished someone would have held him a little bit longer.

Right when he’s about to offer Justin a drink or something to eat, he notices that the kid is already dressed. He’s now looking for his shoes. Brian raises an eyebrow at him.

“Going somewhere?”

Justin looks at him, still flushed from the scalding hot shower and their previous activities, then goes back to looking for his shoes.

“Yeah, well, gotta get back home and all that you know.”

Surprise that looks suspiciously like disappointment flits briefly on Brian’s face. Good thing Justin’s not looking.

“Of course. I was just going to offer you a drink before you leave. Wouldn’t want you going back to mommy all dehydrated.”

Something resembling hurt passes in Justin’s eyes, Brian’s not sure which part of his comment put it there. The kid recovers fast though, having finally managed to put his shoes on.

“Thanks, but that’s OK, I’ll get out of your hair now. Huh, thanks for – huh – you know.”

Brian laughs.

“For? Letting you suck my dick? f*cking you long and hard?” He says referring to their morning conversation.

“Yeah that. And not being a serial killer.” Justin adds.

What?

“Huh sure, no problem.”

Brian is torn between ending the very awkward moment and not rushing the kid out. He opts for hovering in front of the door, still clad only in his towel.

Justin finally opens the door. Right before crossing the threshold, he turns back to Brian and grabs him by the neck to kiss him. The older man is happy to oblige, putting his hands around Justin’s waist and thrusting his tongue in his mouth. They get carried away for a minute, and both are breathless when they break apart. Justin smiles, a variation of his Sunshine smile, just as beautiful but sadder. Despite himself Brian feels a pang of regret. For what, he’s not sure. For letting the blond go or for f*cking him in the first place? He doesn’t have much time to ponder the question, Justin leaves, choosing to take the stairs – probably not to drag the moment by waiting for the elevator. Maybe he underestimated the kid after all.

Brian locks the door behind him and puts on the alarm. He could go back to Babylon, maybe have a drink and a quick f*ck but it doesn’t really appeal to him. Instead he goes back to bed, sheds his towel and get under the sheets, the smell of sex and Justin surrounding him as he drifts off to sleep.

Chapter 3: Part 3

Chapter Text

“Justin honey, you’re next.”

“Oh right, sorry.” This is the third time now that Emmett has to remind him that they’re playing pool. After his first shift at the diner this morning, the guys – meaning Emmett and Ted, Michael was still not warming up to him – invited Justin for drinks at Woody’s. During the 2 hours he worked at the dinner, he feared running into Brian. It turns out the man had some kind of work breakfast with a client - Justin really needs to ask what he’s doing for a living - so the diner was safe. Justin was relieved of course, he knew he looked like sh*t after the night he'd had, barely slept for two hours and did not have time to get new clothes before clocking for his first shift with Debbie. He really needs to be more careful and have a change of clothes on hand at all times. On top of that, Justin wasn’t too sure about what to expect from a new meeting. According to Ted, starting now Brian would ignore him, having had what he wanted from him. Justin wants to play it cool, but the truth is, he’s not sure how to handle seeing Brian again. The problem is that now that he’s working at the dinner and that Emmett seems to have taken to him, the teen is pretty sure that’s inevitable. What is also inevitable when it comes to seeing Brian again, is seeing Brian with other men, but he’ll think about this when the time comes.

Justin feels three pairs of eyes on him and realizes that he still needs to play his turn. He takes his queue and shoots, he’s usually not bad at this but tonight he plays for sh*t, mind totally focused on his predicament. Suddenly, the air shifts around them and Justin knows that HE’s here. f*ck. He really thought he would have more time – and more alcohol in his system – before having to do this. Thank God, it’s now his turn again and he fakes great concentration on his next shot to avoid meeting Brian’s eyes – or rather to avoid seeing that the brunet is not looking at him at all. Concentrating does wonder and soon Justin’s run the table and Emmett is whistling his admiration at his side.

“Seems like you just needed some motivation baby.” Justin flushes profusely and checks that Brian is not in hearing range, thankfully he’s not. Justin slaps Emmett’s arm silently mouthing him to shut up. Emmett mimes zipping his lips shut and sends the boy a kiss. Justin smiles, thinking that even if everything goes to hell with Brian, he’s glad he met Emmett and even Ted. Daphne is his best friend, but she lives in a different world. She doesn’t have to wonder if she’ll ever be able to be in a relationship, how other people will look at her, if she’ll be able to hold a job. These guys know what he’s feeling, what he’s going through. From the scrap of information he gathered here and there, they formed their own family, each rejected in some way by the people who were supposed to love them unconditionally. Justin feels safe with them, and it’s a warming feeling he had almost forgotten.

He excuses himself for the next game and decides to get another drink at the bar. Brian being over there drinking alone has absolutely nothing to do with this decision.

“A beer please.” He was pretty scared when he ordered his first drink, but apparently being with the gang granted him some kind of VIP treatment and after a nod from Emmett he got what he wanted. This time, he orders with a confidence he does not really have.

“They do serve anybody around here.” Before Justin can get too upset about the dig, he sees that Brian is smiling playfully. He decides to play the game.

“Yeah well I guess a hot ass can get you anything you want.” Brian raises his eyebrow at him and Justin has come to understand that he does that when he’s surprised or impressed with the teen. He revels in the feeling. Justin shrugs not really knowing how to pursue this. He figures he should quit while he’s ahead, so he leaves some bills on the counter and goes to join the guys again. On his way there, he makes sure he parades said hot tight ass for Brian to see.

A few minutes later, Brian joins them for a new game of pool. They decide to team up, of course Michael jumps at the opportunity to be on Brian’s team, Justin is teaming with Ted as Emmett is being otherwise occupied in the men’s restroom. The game is pretty tight and Justin and Brian exchange playful barbs. The awkwardness Justin had anticipated never comes, that first discussion at the bar seems to have set the tone for their interactions. Justin’s careful though, he doesn’t touch Brian, doesn’t flirt or refers to anything remotely sexual. He tries to treat the older man like Emmett, like a friend even if it’s killing him.

Every once in a while, someone comes to try to buy Justin a drink, he sometimes says yes but it never goes beyond that. He’s polite, charming but never leaves the door open to more. He’s not sure he’s ready to be with someone other than Brian. It might have been only one night and his first time, but Justin feels in his bones that it was special in a way he’s not going to come across too often. Brian was right, since the blond left the loft he can feel the other man on him, in him. He vaguely wonders if the feeling will ever fade.

#

What kind of game is the kid playing? When Brian first arrived at Woody’s, he hates to admit that he was a bit nervous. What if Justin was there? What bothered him wasn’t that he would have to see the kid and potentially rebut his attempts at seducing him, no it was quite the contrary. Brian had spent the day with a constant hard on because of the blond. Whenever his brain had not been occupied full time, which happens to be almost all the time when you’re as effortlessly brilliant as Brian, he would conjure images of the previous night. Justin on the bed, Brian’s co*ck deep in his throat, Justin in the shower, skin all pink from the hot water, hair darkened, head thrown back in pleasure. And his ass, god his ass , had been front and center in Brian’s mind for twelve hours straight. He had to jerk off twice today – he had looked for someone to take care of his not so little problem, but the pickings were slim at the office – just to get through. So yes, Brian was nervous to see Justin, because although it did not make any sense, he still wanted to f*ck the kid.

When he stepped inside the bar, he immediately spotted the blond, playing pool with the guys. Brian was definitely not ready. Perhaps a quick f*ck in the bathroom would take the edge off. That’s how he had found himself sitting alone at the bar, drinking expensive scotch, scouting the premises for a potential trick. Just when he was about to make a move, Justin had arrived all smiles and hot ass. Brian had not been able to stop himself from teasing him when the kid ordered a beer. Fake it ‘till you make it. Apparently, it had been the right way to break the ice – and whoever knew him would have a blast analyzing why in the f*ck he would feel that some ice needed breaking – because after that they went on to play pool and Brian actually had a good time.

Now though is a different story. Justin is having a drink with some guy, this is at least the tenth time tonight someone’s hit on him. Each time, Brian felt the irrepressible urge to yell ‘he’s only seventeen, pervert’ but even he can see the hypocrisy. Hence how the ad man got himself at the bar, again, grinding his teeth. Why the hell does he care who hits on the kid? Justin can take care of himself, he’s proven that much. He can f*ck whoever he wants for all Brian cares. He keeps on repeating this to himself like a mantra. He figures he’s just in desperate need to f*ck, Justin being the last person he f*cked – and given how good it had been – he’s just projecting. The kid is getting all the action, he’s not jealous guys are hitting on Justin, it’s more that Brian wishes they would hit on him instead. Right?

Except that when he thinks about it, he has been cruised tonight, several times even. At first, the older man wanted to finish the game of pool, then he wanted a drink, another time Justin had been talking to that freak Allan and Brian had to make sure he did not go anywhere with him. In the end, Brian realizes that he wants to f*ck, sure, but most importantly he wants to f*ck Justin. And if there is one thing true about Brian’s reputation, it’s that he always gets what he wants. Problem is, he has his rules for a reason, wouldn’t want the kid to get excited over nothing. Although Brian must admit Justin reacted very differently than what he expected. Friendly but detached, no longing looks, no unnecessary touching. He really underestimated the kid’s understanding of the situation. So, he can f*ck Justin one more time, get it all out of his system this time and get on his merry way.

Brian downs his glass in one gulp, barely wincing at the bitterness, and strides over to Justin and what’s his face. Much like the night before, a simple ‘f*ck off’ and he’s alone with Justin. Brian just stands there, puts his hand on the beam next to Justin so that he’s trapped. Brian can feel the heat of the kid’s body from being so close and he can feel his own dick harden in his jeans. They say nothing for a few seconds, Brian just gives him his tongue-in-cheek smirk and waits. At some point, Justin caves and asks.

“Did you need something Brian?”

“I sure do.”

“And what would that be?” f*cker is flirting, he knows exactly where this is going.

Brian leans in even more, breath tickling Justin’s ear.

“My co*ck, buried deep in your tight ass.” He doesn’t leave Justin time to say anything, just turns around, grabs his wrist and leads them out of the bar to Brian’s car. Justin follows without any resistance and Brian cannot get them to the loft fast enough.

#

Their ride in the elevator is very different from the night before. Last time they were in there, they had been each at a corner of the small space. Justin was nervously biting his thumbnail and Brian was just standing there, seemingly unaffected. It had felt like the longest elevator ride ever and Justin had been very surprised when he left a few hours later to discover that the loft was actually not on the twentieth floor.

Now, anyone would have difficulties telling where one finished and the other started. Brian has him pinned to the back wall, he maintains Justin’s hands above his head and presses his hips into the blond to keep him in place. Brian’s mouth is all over the skin he can reach, lips, jaw, throat. Justin is already panting and painfully hard in his jeans. They barely separate when Brian goes to open the gate, he’s still holding Justin’s wrist and yet manages to open and close the gate, open his own door, disarm the alarm and get them inside one-handed. Practice probably made the moves perfect. Once inside, Justin has no time to look around or think, he’s once again pushed against a cold hard surface – the door probably – and Brian’s tongue is deep in his mouth. Everything spins around Justin, Brian the only thing that keeps him grounded and Justin wonders if this is a result of all the drinks he’s had or just the feel of Brian all over him. The older man has both hands in Justin’s hair, using his grip to angle the young man as he wishes. His hips are pressing against Justin’s and he rubs their hard-ons together in a slow circular motion that feels so damn good. Justin is trying to catch up, his hands up Brian’s shirt. He’s trying to only caress and hold but when Brian bites the skin at the junction between his neck and his shoulder, Justin abandons all control and rakes his fingers all over Brian’s back, probably leaving scratch marks but not caring.

Justin really does not want to stop but he needs to feel more of Brian’s skin. Instead of reaching for the other’s clothes, the teen decides to make it clear that seduction time is over, and they need to get to it. He starts undressing himself, just ripping the clothes off and throwing them on the floor below. In ten seconds Justin’s naked. Brian’s looking at him amused but quickly catches up. Justin now free to help him, they manage to have Brian naked in record time. Now Justin is able to enjoy all the brunet’s glorious body.

Brian seems to be feeling the same urgency because he’s back to nipping at Justin’s neck, discovering all the spots that make his knees go weak. He then grabs one of Justin’s legs and hoists it around his waist, still pressing him against the door. Justin is quick to understand what Brian wants, he holds his body weight with his back and places both his legs around Brian’s hips. In this position, his hole is in direct contact with Brian’s steel hard co*ck and Justin whimpers. Apparently, Brian found the time to put a condom and lube on and before Justin has time to catch his breath, he feels the head of Brian’s co*ck pushing inside him. It’s not careful or even slow, it’s fast and hard and painful but in the best way. Justin cries out at the intrusion and tightens his hold on Brian’s hips and neck. Soon enough, Brian is pounding into him, deeper than Justin thought possible. He can feel the details of the door on his back and the bruises forming already, but he’s too far gone to care. Justin throws his head back with a loud thud when Brian finds his sweet spot. After that, he loses all coherent thoughts, just moaning and mumbling strings of ‘f*ck’, ‘yes’, ‘there’, ‘more’. Brian is utterly silent, bottom lip trapped under his teeth, almost drawing blood. Sweat has formed on the older man’s forehead, hair sticking everywhere. He’s so beautiful it hurts, and f*ck Justin’s pretty sure he just said that out loud.

A few thrusts later, Brian comes deep inside him and the feel of his co*ck throbbing is enough to trigger Justin’s org*sm. He didn’t think he could come without anyone touching his dick, he obviously thought wrong.

#

After they relocated to the bed and f*cked again, they just lay there smoking. They’re both on their backs, not really touching but not intentionally not touching.

“Do you ever get f*cked?”

“Excuse-me?”

“Do you ever bottom?”

“Why, are you volunteering?”

Justin blushes and struggles through his explanation.

“No – I mean – I wouldn’t know – Huh”

“Relax Sunshine, I wasn’t offering. I f*ck, I don’t get f*cked.”

“Like… ever?”

“Yes, like ever.” Justin doesn’t need to know that this is not exactly true. Brian guesses that given the very few times he actually takes it up the ass compared to the average of fifteen guys a week he f*cks, it’s statistically close enough to the truth. Better not to get the kid’s hopes up.

“Oh.” Justin is deep in thought after that and that’s not the mood Brian is aiming for.

“You should try it.”

“What?”

“Topping.”

“Oh. But not with you then?”

“No, not with me twat. With a co*ck like yours I’m sure you’ll have no trouble finding a willing ass.”

Justin blushes again. Although he feels like a pervert for thinking it, Brian finds it f*cking hot how the boy reacts like a twelve-year-old sometimes.

“OK, I might do that.”

Things are hazy after that, one of them starts to suck the other off, and one thing leading to another, rounds three and four happen. By the time they are finished, Justin is passed out next to Brian, on his stomach. Brian contemplates trying to wake him up and make him leave but the warmth of the bed, the exhaustion of the night and the alcohol he consumed, catch up with him and he drifts off.

#

When Justin opens his eyes, his first reaction is panic. Where the hell is he? This is definitely not Daphne’s room or his usual digs. He takes a big breath to try and relax and the smell of sex and Brian and sex with Brian assault his senses. Oh yes. A smile creeps on his face before a new wave of panic makes it disappear. f*ck . He slept here, in the loft, with Brian. Wait, is that Brian’s arms around his waist? He slowly turns his head and is startled to see that not only did he sleep with Brian, but it seems that at some point they decide to spoon and cuddle. What the f*ck? Justin is very well aware that this is not something Brian does, like ever. He gives himself two minutes to enjoy it. He buries his face in the – his? – pillow and wiggles around carefully to make himself more comfortable. Brian’s chest is now snug against his back, his groin against Justin’s ass. Justin knows he’s playing with fire, if Brian wakes up to find him snuggling into him, he’ll freak, kick Justin out and refuse to have anything to do with him ever again. One-minute passes and Justin finally finds the strength to get up. He has to get to the diner anyway, his shift begins in less than an hour. Once he’s up he hesitates, should he shower? Just get dressed and leave? He desperately wants to get back in bed, bury his face into Brian’s chest and wake him up with soft touches.

Objectively Justin knows he’s already on borrowed time. He really didn’t think that he would get to be with Brian again after the first time. Last night had been simply amazing, they had f*cked yes, but also talked and unexpectedly laughed. Nothing of great importance had been shared but he still has the feeling that very few people outside of Brian’s circle of friends had the opportunity to see the older man like this.

After standing naked in the middle of the bedroom daydreaming for about ten minutes, Justin decides to just get dressed and let himself out. Better for Brian to ignore how they spent the night cuddling. If Justin shows him how mature and cool he can be about this, maybe Brian will agree to keep f*cking, and at this moment, there’s nothing Justin wants more than for this to happen again. Thus, he gets dressed, cleans up the mess they made last night and as quietly as he can, let himself out. He takes the direction of the diner, wondering with butterflies in his stomach if Brian will have breakfast there today.

#

Brian wakes up to the sound of his alarm clock. He turns it off and looks around confused. He remembers clearly Justin being passed out in his bed and him deciding to let the kid sleep there. Except now, the bed is empty and the loft eerily quiet. Looking around, he notices that Justin’s clothes are gone and that the mess they made has been cleaned. Once again, Brian finds himself surprised by Justin. Very few of his tricks have had the privilege to sleep the whole night in his bed and they all tried to milk it to no end, inviting themselves for breakfast, using the shower, asking a million questions. And here comes this seventeen-year-old kid, no experience, bright naïve eyes, that without having it spelled out to him, seems to understand every rule Brian ever had for his life.

The only drawback Brian can think of, is that he’s quite hard and no one’s there to take care of it. He might have to make sure Justin stays until morning next time. Next time? There can’t be a next time. He already spent two nights in a row with Justin. Normally that’s where they would end. Few people probably know it, but Brian wasn’t always a ‘no repeat’ guy. He just found out early that the transition between a f*ck and a relationship usually happened at the third encounter. You f*ck a guy once, everything is fine, everybody’s just having fun. If the guy’s hot enough you can f*ck him again, but the setting has to be right. Either in broad daylight, preferably in a restroom stall or a supply closet, or very late at night, making it perfectly clear that he was the last option. The third time is when it gets tricky. It doesn’t really matter how or when, when you’ve f*cked someone three times, there are expectations. You’re supposed to call or take them out to dinner, and nobody’s hot enough for Brian to endure such things.

After he had to physically chase away persistent tricks, Brian had perfected his famous rules. Funny enough, that's where his job came in handy. Building a brand and selling it was what paid for his luxurious lifestyle and this time, he was the product. It seemed too complicated to have an ‘only twice’ kinda rule. Guys would not understand, if two then why not three, and four, and then back to the beginning. So 'no repeat' it was. He could have them in the loft, at work, anywhere really, even on rare occasions at their place but the exchange of information remained minimal, a name, a number if it was absolutely necessary. Once the deed was done, there would be no further interaction. He came, and they went, end of story.

He knows things with Justin are already different. First, somehow, the kid has made himself a place in Brian's world. Emmett adores him, Ted likes him with all the enthusiasm an accountant can muster and Debbie, from what he's heard from the guys, is already thinking of him as one of her boys. Michael is, well Michael. Slightly jealous and petulant but Brian knows that it is only because he has f*cked Justin. Without him in the picture, Brian could actually see the two of them getting along.

Second, the f*cking is getting better and better. Justin was a virgin when they met and yet he is already one of the best f*ck Brian's had. It has nothing to do with technique in reality. It's just that Justin doesn't play games in bed, probably because he doesn't know how, he f*cks with an abandon that Brian doubts he ever experienced himself. It makes the sex more passionate, and somehow more intimate. This in particular is very scary for Brian.

Third it seems that they are on the same page. Justin never tries to stick around, on the contrary, he always takes the initiative to leave without Brian having to ask. Brian has been the one to initiate their meetings, even last night when he was so sure Justin would be the one back for more.

So where does that leave them? Brian really thought that last night would finally satisfy him. He's had Justin in all ways possible - at least in such a short amount of time - but he still craves more. It has been a long time since he'd seen someone react to him like that, so uninhibited, so honest.

Brian is nothing if not an overly grown child and he is not ready to stop playing with his toy, so he thinks long and hard about it and finds the perfect way to have his cake and eat it too. He has to get Justin to Babylon tonight, then make sure that whatever ideas the boy might have about what they share, there's no doubt that it is just f*cking – and f*ck again they would - nothing more.

Happy with his decision, Brian gets ready and heads to the diner for breakfast.

Chapter 4: Part4

Chapter Text

#

Justin barely has time to retrieve his duffel bag in the break room, change his clothes and punch in for his shift. It is only his second day working the morning shift but with Debbie’s help, he feels like he's getting the hang of things. People are all very friendly if only a little grabby, so he lays on the charm pretty thick to make sure he gets good tips. If things go on like this, he might be able to settle down a little. This prospect makes him work twice as hard.

He's cleaning an empty table in the far back when he hears the bell ring. Without turning around, he knows Brian just came in. Be it from a weird cherry popping induced telepathic link or because the whole diner seems to release a collective admirative sigh at his entrance. Desperately wanting to appear unaffected, Justin keeps himself busy. When the table is cleaner than the day it was built, he hangs out behind the counter. From the corner of his eye he can see Brian in a booth with Michael. Great.

After a while, Justin doesn't have any choice, he has to clean a table right next to their booth. He marches over there, head held high and a smile on his face. A customer swats his ass and Justin just winks at him playfully. When he arrives at his destination, he simply nods towards Brian and Michael in way of saying hello. Brian raises an eyebrow at him but says nothing. Justin goes on with his task, fully aware of Brian’s eyes boring into his back. When he turns toward the counter, Brian finally speaks.

“Who do I have to f*ck to get service around here? Oh wait a minute!”

He’s looking straight at Justin, usual tongue-in-cheek trademark expression. Justin’s pretty sure he’s blushing, and this realization only makes him blush harder. He pushes through and decides to play Brian’s game.

“Sorry, I’m just the bus-boy, you should have better standards next time.”

With that he winks at Brian and saunters in the kitchen to put the dirty dishes away. From his hidden place, he can see Brian shaking his head and laughing softly to himself. Score one for Justin.

His shift goes on without any trouble. He passes Brian and Michael’s table a few times but doesn’t linger. He catches them glancing at him, Brian with an intrigued but amused expression, Michael with a way less friendly expression on his face. The ship of that friendship has apparently sailed far far away. When they get up to leave, Justin hurries to clean their table while they’re still around. Apparently, they are discussing their plans for the evening. Michael wants to know if Brian is coming to Woody’s, but apparently, he has some work dinner with an important client. Justin’s trying to hide his disappointment but perks up when Brian mentions joining the gang at Babylon after his obligation. When all is settled, they move towards the door but before he gets out, Brian stops and turns toward Justin.

“Later Sunshine.”

“Later.” Justin manages to answer before rushing to the restroom. Once in there, he cannot hold back the face breaking smile he sees in the mirror. Was that an invitation? Does Brian want him to come to Babylon tonight? Justin does not even want to address the fact that Brian called him Sunshine in front of people, otherwise he’ll embarrass himself for the rest of his shift with the hard-on he’ll be sporting. Instead, he takes a deep breath and gets back to work. Only thirty minutes later, he’s off to school with much to share with Daphne.

#

It’s after eleven when Brian finally makes his way inside Babylon. He had not planned for it to be this late but the diner with the client had dragged on and on, and he had been in need of a good shower and stress relief – in the form of Beam and weed – before going out. He hopes Justin got his message this morning. The kid had been nothing but distantly friendly during breakfast, flirting with everyone around and simply owning the place. Michael had whined half of the time, not understanding why Brian had brought Justin back to his place the night before. When they were leaving, Brian noticed that Justin was hovering at their table, listening to their conversation. He had made sure he knew he would be at Babylon this evening and that he hoped to see him there. He had not planned on calling him ‘Sunshine’ but once he had taken a look at his smile, the nickname Debbie had baptized him with had flowed naturally.

Brian +joins Emmett and Michael at their usual spot on the catwalk. He usually uses the view they have on the dance floor to find his next f*ck, but tonight he already knows who he’s looking for. He’s scouting the place, sometimes lingering on blond hair or pale skin, but Justin’s nowhere to be seen. He’s trying to be discreet, but Emmett keeps looking at him with a knowing smile and it pisses him off. He cannot wait for Justin to get there so that he can get his plan in motion. At the end of the night, Justin but also the pains in his ass he calls friends will have a reminder of what Brian is about.

Just when Brian is about to tell Emmett to f*ck off, someone joins them with a beer in hand. Brian turns around and cannot prevent his smile at the sight of Justin. The kid’s shirt is so tight Brian can almost see all the details of his nipples. There’s a large band of naked skin between the bottom of his shirt and his jeans and Brian’s mouth waters. f*ck the kid is hot.

“Hey guys!”

Justin is almost jumping around them, all smiles and overflowing energy. Brian gets closer to him and grabs his face. He inspects his eyes and swears. sh*t, the boy is totally high.

“Justin, what are you on?”

“Don’t know, some guy gave it to me.”

Brian is about ready to explode.

“Some guy?”

“Yeah, hot red-head, amazing ass. We were dancing, and he offered. Why? You jealous?”

He’s grinning like an idiot, thinking he has Brian figured out.

“Stupid twat. Don’t take drugs from strangers. You want to get high, you come to me or Emmett, capich?”

“Sure Daddy.” Justin rolls his eyes and turns around, heading back to the dance floor.

Brian would die before admitting that Justin calling him ‘Daddy’ kind of turned him on. Christ, what the f*ck is wrong with him? One minute he’s about to tear Justin’s head off for being so reckless, the next he wants to f*ck him so hard he feels it for a week. Brian shakes his head to clear his thoughts and get back on track. He has a plan to set in motion, and Justin being in such a good mood will actually help.

It’s pretty easy to track Justin down, the blond is in the middle of the dance floor, a circle of guys around him. He does not seem to notice any of them though, so entranced in the thumpa thumpa of Babylon. Brian approaches confidently, people parting to let him through like the Red Sea. Once he reaches Justin, he takes the teenager’s arms and puts them around his neck, then does the same with his own. Justin must have recognized him somehow because he simply smiles and pulls Brian closer, still dancing. Brian enjoys the moment, not in a hurry to move things along.

Surprisingly, Justin is the one to take the next steps, crashing his lips to Brian’s and kissing him passionately. Brian kisses him back with the same enthusiasm, enjoying the aggressive side of his dancing partner. It’s only moments before Justin has both hands in his hair, pulling him impossibly closer. Their hips are pushing against each other’s, hard-ons rubbing in all the right ways. It is a rare occurrence, but Brian is lost in the sensations. He’s usually in full control of everything that happens, even when it seems he’s letting his tricks lead, he’s really the one in charge. Tonight though, he’s happy to be led by Justin.

He’s pulled back in the moment when he feels Justin’s hands traveling down his stomach under his shirt, they caress his abs for a short while and then unclasp the top button of his jeans. Brian pulls back from kissing Justin and raises his eyebrow.

“What do you think you’re doing Sunshine?”

“Huh I thought it was obvious. I want to blow you.”

Before Brian can get anything out, Justin is sucking on his earlobe and opening his zipper. In a fast move, Brian grabs Justin’s hands to stop him.

“Easy tiger.”

Justin pouts and Brian thinks he never looked more his age. He puts his hand on Justin’s jaw to keep him from looking away.

“You can’t blow me here.” Truth is, he could. It wouldn’t be the first time Brian’s getting a blow j*b in the middle of the dance floor, but he knows Justin’s too high to understand what it would mean for him to drop down to his knees right there. Brian would rather do this in the backroom in the relative privacy of the dark space.

“Come on.”

“Brian, I don’t want to leave.” Justin whines behind him.

“We’re not leaving, we’re just relocating.”

Brian walks faster, tugging on Justin’s wrist until they’re in the comfort of the backroom. Justin has slowed down once inside, eyes wide open, looking everywhere.

“Wow, this is…”

“Hot?”

Justin blushes and lower his eyes.

“Yeah.”

Brian leads them to his favorite spot behind the last curtain and leans against the wall. He pulls Justin into him and starts kissing his neck. After a while, he breaks the kiss and looks at Justin expectantly. Has the kid forgotten why they were in here? Justin looks at him confused, so Brian decides to help him and gestures at his crotch. Justin finally catches up and finishes unbuttoning Brian’s pants. When he drops to his knees, Brian has to take a deep breath not to come at the sight of his blond hair beneath him. Justin takes his sweet time, just looking at Brian’s dick and licking his lips. It’s crazy how this simple gesture makes Brian’s co*ck harden.

“Justin…” Brian’s tone is half warning, half whining. He tries to angle his hips so that Justin’s lips finally touch him, but the kid puts his arms across his stomach to keep Brian from moving. f*ck, this is hot. Finally, Brian feels Justin’s tongue licking at the head of his co*ck, he circles it multiple times before taking it in his mouth and sucking slowly. Brian cannot count the number of times he’s had his dick sucked at this exact spot, at least a few hundred times, but it’s never been like this. It’s always rushed. The backroom is hardly the place where guys take their time, it’s about the end game not the process. This is about release, about the rush. What Justin is doing to him now has nothing to do with release. The kid is worshipping his rock-hard co*ck like he has all the time in the world, like they are anywhere but here, dozens of thirsty queers staring at them. Brian cannot find it in himself to accelerate the process though, because it is too damn good.

Justin has Brian’s full length down his throat now and the older man is clutching his hand in the blond hair, knuckles white from preventing from thrusting into the hot mouth even deeper. Full moans are now escaping his lips and if he wasn’t too gone to care, he would probably hate himself for it. Way too soon, he feels his whole body tightens and then releases with his org*sm. He floods Justin’s mouth with his come, eyes shut tight, mouth open in a silent cry of pleasure. When he opens his eyes again, Justin is staring at him, still licking his lips like he’s trying to taste every last bit of him.

#

Brian opens his eyes and Justin’s startled to see the fire in them. He thought he did a pretty good job at blowing the man just now but apparently it wasn’t enough to quell Brian’s needs. It is a good thing too because Justin’s painfully hard in his pants and he really would like some release. He’s still pretty high from what he took earlier. Come to think of it, Brian was right, it was pretty stupid of Justin to just take something from a stranger, but he was alone in Babylon, angsting about Brian not being here and this guy seemed pretty nice, and yes in retrospect this sounds very weak when the risk is so high. He just wanted to relax and have fun, instead of obsessing over Brian and the fact that maybe he didn’t mean to invite him tonight and Justin had been building all of this up in his head and they were never going to f*ck again. Justin never claimed to be a level-headed person. Anyway, now it seems that he panicked over nothing and he definitely learnt his lesson. He knows who to trust.

He’s still looking into Brian’s eyes and it looks like the older man is not planning on moving right now. In a desperate act of boldness, Justin grabs his hand and pushes it against his hard co*ck.

“Are you going to f*ck me now or should I take care of this myself?”

Something flashes in Brian’s eyes and in a split second he’s back, turning Justin around so that he’s the one against the wall now. In an equally smooth move, Brian spins him around and Justin finds himself facing the wall, Brian pressed alongside his back. He feels Brian’s breath tickling his ear.

“I’m going to f*ck you so hard.”

Justin can only answer with a moan and a push of his ass against Brian’s co*ck. He’s surprised to feel that the older man is already hard again. Christ, this guy is a sex machine. The thought barely finished in his head, Justin feels the cool air of the backroom against his backside. For a second, he thinks about the guys around seeing him like this, but just then Brian thrusts two lubed fingers inside him and he cannot think at all. He’s pushing against Brian’s hand, trying to get more but the brunet only laughs softly.

“Look at you, all needy. Does it turn you on? All these hot men looking at you right now? Wishing they were the ones f*cking you?”

“God, yes. Come on, f*ck me.”

Had he been more clear-headed, Justin would have probably told Brian that he doubted these men were lusting after him, they were probably more envious that he got to be f*cked by Brian Kinney than anything else. For now, though, he’s grasping Brian’s thigh behind him, urging him on. Brian complies, and next thing Justin knows Brian penetrates him in one deep thrust. There’s no time to adjust because he’s already pounding into him. It’s not enough for Justin, he begs for ‘faster’, ‘harder’, absolutely not caring about their audience anymore.

Brian is whispering in his ear now, voice deep and so sexy.

“You’re so f*cking hot like this. Let them hear you, let them know how much you like having my co*ck deep in your ass.”

Justin wants to say something back but he’s a writhing mess under Brian’s ministrations. He can only grunt and push back harder against Brian.

“Are you going to come for me now, Sunshine?”

With a loud ‘f*ck’, Justin comes, splattering the wall in front of him, one hand clutching Brian’s ass to keep him deep inside, the other holding Brian’s head against his shoulder. It’s only because Brian’s mouth is so close to his ear that Justin hears him come, a whispered ‘God Justin’ falling from his lips.

A couple of minutes later, Brian has discarded the condom and they are both fully dressed again. Justin is still a bit wobbly, so Brian puts his arm around his shoulder to drag him out of the backroom. Justin sports a goofy smile on his face and he’s pretty sure the whole club knows that he’s just been f*cked into oblivion. Once they reach the group, Emmett and Ted look at him with knowing smiles. Michael on the other hand, just glares. Justin wishes things were different between them, but he understands that there is a lot he doesn’t know going on between Michael and Brian, so he’ll just keep his distance for now. They all share drinks and easy conversation. Brian’s arm is still around his shoulders and Justin feels on top of the world.

He’s engrossed in a discussion with Emmett about a new gay tv show when he feels Brian’s arm sliding from his shoulders. When he turns around, Brian is already taking a step toward the dance floor, looking away from them. Justin holds onto his wrist.

“Hey, where are you going?”

“Going to check out the dance floor.”

“Let me finish my drink, I’ll come with.”

“Don’t worry Sunshine, enjoy your drink, I’ll be back later.”

Justin can only watch Brian’s back as he makes his way into the crowd. He loses sight of him for a moment, determined not to sulk. This turn of events definitely puts a damper on his buzz. He resumes his conversation with Emmett and Ted, actually enjoying himself even if the absence of Brian still lingers around him. When there’s a lull in the conversation, he scans the crowd to see what Brian is up to. Justin finds him instantly - it’s almost as if all the lights of the room converge to him - grinding against a bulky dark-haired guy. Justin tries to push down the hurt he feels seeing Brian like this with another man. He knew it was bound to happen eventually, expected it even, and yet now that it is really happening, it’s like he’s been punched in the stomach. Here he is, the ghost of Brian’s touch still on his skin, a now familiar and cherished ache in his ass from their earlier tryst, his come is probably not even dry on the wall of the backroom yet, and Brian is already moving on to the next guy, the next f*ck. If Justin has ever had any illusion on where they stand, it is painfully clear now.

He can see Brian whispering something in the trick’s ear, hand trailing down his chest toward the waistband of his jeans. Having been on the receiving hand of this gesture, Justin knows what’s next. He wants to look away, he does, but like the cars driving past a messy accident, he can’t tear his eyes away. The trick nods, Brian turns around and grabs his wrist leading them to the very backroom where he just f*cked Justin’s brains out twenty minutes ago. Justin is now very much sober.

Emmett, of course, notices that Justin has zoned out from their conversation. He follows Justin’s gaze and sighs.

“I’m sorry sweetie.”

Justin is startled to hear his voice.

“Sorry for what?” He knows he’s not fooling anyone. He gulps the rest of his drink and orders another one. Anything to numb the hurt he knows he shouldn’t feel. Emmett is kind enough not to call him on his bullsh*t. He simply smiles and puts an arm around Justin.

“Come on baby, drink that up, and then you and I are going to show them how it’s done.”

Justin smiles gratefully. He really likes Emmett, has from the start. He knows that underneath his queenie flamboyance, he’s actually pretty insightful and a good friend.

Later, when they’re dancing like crazy in the middle of the club, improvising silly choreographies and battling off the unwanted advances, Justin feels himself relax a little. Sure, he’d rather Brian wasn’t f*cking some guy this very instant but what else can he do? He doubts yelling or making a scene would sit well with Brian. The rules of this game were always clear, and Justin still accepted to play. He can’t ask to change them now. Besides, if he were to act all jealous and wounded, he’s pretty sure Brian would tell him to just hit the road, take it or leave it; and one thing’s for sure, Justin certainly does not want to leave it.

When they get back to the bar, Brian is back, drinking shots with Michael. Ted is nowhere to be seen, probably home already. Justin squashes down whatever residual feelings he might have and orders shots for him and Emmett. He does not particularly acknowledge Brian’s presence but doesn’t actively ignore him as well. They all drink and banter, even dance a little. Justin’s aware that Brian has not touched him since they’ve been reunited. He cannot help but wonder if it means the older man has finally moved on. Maybe their little performance in the backroom was supposed to be their parting f*ck.

#

Brian is confused, and this is not an emotion he enjoys. Anger, frustration, lust, this he knows, but the unsettling feeling he has now, being next to Justin, not knowing what the boy thinks is not something he thought he would feel.

His plan had worked perfectly, he had f*cked the hell out Justin in the backroom – it was even better than he had imagined – then he had found another prey and f*cked him, making sure that Justin had seen them leave together. The trick was not great but good enough to get off and to serve his purpose. Brian had expected one of two outcomes after this. Option one, Justin would be pissed or hurt and would ram into him and declare that they were done f*cking. Option two, Justin would just leave without waiting for Brian to be done, and that would probably be the last of it.

What Brian had not expected was to find Justin having the time of his life on the dance floor with Emmett and half of the men around drooling on his ass. He figured that maybe this was Justin’s own brand of pain management or that he was not so subtly trying to get back at Brian. Show him what he was missing in a way. Brian had decided to gear up for the upcoming scene with Justin and started doing shots with Michael. When Justin had finally made his way toward him, he braced himself. Nothing happened though. Justin just joined them for shots, still laughing with Emmett and even with Michael at some point. It seemed like his little trip to the backroom had at least calmed his best friend.

Deciding that going with the flow is the best option, Brian follows Justin’s cue and acts like nothing happened. He is still wary of touching Justin though, not wanting to trigger anything when things seem to go so well.

At some point, Brian and Emmett agree that what is missing to their night is some artificial fun. They head toward the back of the club to score some party favors. From his spot, Brian can see Michael and Justin talking. The smiles are gone from their faces, they must discuss something serious. From the look on Justin’s face, he’s getting pissed. Christ, what did Mikey say this time? Brian loves the other man to death, he’s not sure he would have made it all these years without him and Debbie – and Vic – but Michael really needs to learn about boundaries. Sure, Brian hasn’t always been the best at keeping things clear between the two of them, but he never said he was a good man. He speeds up the process with Anita – he’s sure he’ll regret not getting the good stuff in the morning – to get back to the bar and find out what this is all about.

When he finally makes it back, both Michael and Justin are silently drinking from their beer. The tension is thick and even Emmett’s loud arrival does not alleviate it. Brian glares at Michael, silently asking him what the hell happened in his absence. Michael answers with an equally silent shrug. After about five minutes of the Emmett show, Justin finishes his drink and announces that he’s going to go home for the night. Wanting to know where they stand, Brian offers him a ride home. Justin politely declines. Before he leaves though, Justin throws a look at Michael and pulls Brian into a deep kiss. Brian doesn’t waste any time and kisses him back. Part of him is relieved that Justin is accepting the state of their non-relationship. For all his talk about not caring if Justin couldn’t accept him as he was, Brian really wants them to continue f*cking. He even goes so far as mentally patting himself on the back for a plan well thought and well executed. He does wonder what the look between Justin and Michael was. He really needs to talk to his best friend before going home.

When the kiss breaks, Justin simply presses a hand on Brian’s bicep and whispers a ‘later’. He then hugs Emmett and very curtly says goodbye to Michael. After that he’s gone, and Brian turns to Michael, eyes cold.

“What the f*ck did you say to him?”

Chapter 5: Part 5

Chapter Text

“What’s up with you today?”

Daphne and Justin are having a smoke on the steps in front of Saint James. Since morning, Justin’s been very silent, which is totally not like him. Daphne’s been pretty patient so far but apparently, she has reached her limit.

It’s not that Justin doesn’t want to tell her about what’s going on, it’s just that he’s not sure what to say. Objectively he knows he has no right to feel sad or betrayed. He and Brian f*cked a couple of times, and sure it was amazing and life-altering – at least for him – but Brian never promised anything. On the contrary, everyone around keeps warning Justin that he should not expect anything from Brian. He should enjoy their time in bed while it lasts and when Brian gets tired of him, move on. All in all, Justin thinks this is a good deal. Brian is insanely hot, gorgeous, smart, funny – in a very sarcastic, dry humor kind of way - the sex is incredible, and Justin gets to experience this whole other life of clubbing, drinking, partying with people that share his sexual orientation. On top of that he really likes his new friends, Emmett is the sweetest and a great dance partner and Debbie feels like the mother he hasn’t had in a while. He knew going in that Brian wouldn’t be his boyfriend or anything remotely resembling, and Justin didn’t mind. If he’s honest with himself, what hurt him the night before was not that Brian f*cked someone else, it was that he could do it right in front of him, only minutes after f*cking him, like he was no different than a faceless trick in a backroom. Justin had tricked himself into believing that he was different from the others. He got to meet Brian’s friends, he got to spend the night, he got to f*ck him more than once. For his inexperienced seventeen-year-old self, that meant something.

Then he saw Brian whispering in this guy’s ear and leading him to the backroom, and he felt like a cheap whor*. What really drove the point home was his little talk with Michael. From the beginning, Michael had been really distant with him, not talking to him, interrupting any conversation he was having with Brian. Justin figured he had some unresolved feelings for Brian and that he would eventually calm down. Yesterday, when Emmett and Brian had left for a while, Michael had not waited any second to give him a little speech, a Brian 101 class. ‘He’s going to get bored real soon’ he said, ‘what you saw tonight, that’s the real Brian. He only cares about himself and getting his dick sucked.’. Some best friend. ‘Don’t get too comfortable, don’t try to impose yourself in his life, at the diner and with my mother.’ This one had really hit home. Justin longs for an actual home, somewhere he feels he belongs. This past few days, on Liberty Avenue, he thought he had finally found it.

In the end, he decides not to tell all of this to Daphne. She would not judge him but he’s not ready for the pity in her eyes.

“Nothing Daph’, just really tired.”

Except this was not the thing to say either.

“Tired? Where did you sleep anyway?” He can see the worry in her eyes and doesn’t know how to appease her.

“The usual, don’t worry I’m fine.”

“You should come to my house tonight. Big comfy bed? A bathtub? Complete breakfast in the morning?”

He’s about to accept, when his cell phone rings in his bag. He retrieves it and answers.

“Yes?”

“Is that how you answer your phone Sunshine?”

Brian’s voice immediately brings a smile to his face. After last night, he didn’t know if they would see each other again. He had kissed the older man like it was the last time, just in case.

“Sorry Mr Kinney, I wasn’t expecting you to call me.”

“Well, I like to keep people on their toes.”

“Tell me about it.” Justin winces, wishing he hadn’t said that. He had sworn to himself he wouldn’t bring it up.

“What are you doing tonight?” Huh what?

“Nothing, why?”

“Do you want to come over? 8?”

“Sure.”

“OK then, later Justin.”

“Later Brian.”

When Justin hangs up, he has a big smile on his face and Daphne’s staring at him, waiting for an explanation.

“So? What did he say?”

“He invited me to the loft tonight.” He tries for casual but cannot contain his glee.

“I guess you won’t need my comfy bed after all.” Daphne says with a wink.

‘Except for when I have to leave in the middle of the night’ Justin thinks.

#

At 8, Brian finally hears the buzz signaling Justin's upcoming arrival. He doesn't want to admit it, but he is feeling a tad nervous. He wasn't sure Justin was going to show up and if he did, in what mood he would be, despite the kiss they had shared.

When Brian had managed to corner Michael, he had wasted no time in demanding to know what had been said earlier in the night. Michael had dismissed Brian's annoyance, merely replying that he was looking out for Justin, telling him how it was before he got any ideas. He obviously didn't see what was wrong with telling the kid the truth, right Brian? And f*ck, objectively nothing that Michael had said had been false but sometimes Brian wishes his friends expected more from him than just to be who he had been since he was fourteen years old.

After that Brian had wanted to see Justin to be able to judge the damage done by his plan and Michael's intervention. His goal had been to make things clear for Justin, but he really wanted to keep f*cking him too and maybe that made him a selfish bastard - a lot of people certainly would attest to that – but these are the facts.

He buzzes Justin in and opens the front door. He wants to avoid an awkward meeting, so he busies himself pouring drinks, seemingly unaffected by Justin's arrival. When the teenager finally comes in, he simply sheds his jacket - folding it nearly on a chair which pleases Brian to no end - and joins Brian at the kitchen counter. He puts his arms around Brian’s waist from behind and whispers a 'hey' next to his ear. At once, Brian feels the tension leave his body. All is well, his plan worked and soon enough he'll have his dick up Justin's ass.

"You want a drink?"

"Sure, what you're having is good."

"Hey Brian, I've been meaning to ask."

Did he misread the situation? Is Justin going to demand an explanation after all?

"Yeah?"

"What is it that you do?"

"That I do?"

"Yes, like for a living. Every time I've been here I've wondered, because wow your place is amazing, but then we start f*cking and I forget."

"Does this mean we're not going to f*ck?"

Justin laughs, and Brian is once again surprised at how easy it all is. Justin's only seventeen but in a lot of ways he's more mature than Michael, he seems to understand things about sex and being queer that most of Brian's friends don't. It's relaxing not having to explain and argue about what makes them different from heteros, and Brian finds that he likes it a lot.

"No, we're definitely going to f*ck. I just thought I'd ask while I'm still wearing clothes and your dick' s not up my ass."

Justin is grinning now, tongue darting out to briefly lick his lips, making it look like he cannot wait for that particular thing to happen.

Brian, ever the generous one, leans in close, and uses his own tongue to lick at Justin's mouth seductively. He then traces a path down Justin's jaw and throat. The teen purrs at Brian's actions and that has to be the sexiest sound he's heard in a while. He goes back to Justin’s ear and whispers.

“I work at an ad agency, soon I’ll make partner.” Without leaving Justin time to ask questions, Brian undresses him slowly but efficiently, at the same time backing him to the bedroom. Justin is in a daze of pleasure, eyes closed, totally surrendering to Brian. When the kid is down to his underwear, Brian pushes him lightly so that he lies down on the bed on his back. Brian then proceeds to undress himself - his attire consisting of only jeans and a tank top, it's pretty fast - and covers Justin's body with his own.

Justin opens his eyes then, the usual sky blue is now stormy, his pupils large, and his skin flushed, f*ck he's hot.

"Can I try something?"

How Justin manages to look both completely innocent and devilishly sexy is beyond Brian, and in his enthralled state he nods.

He's surprised when Justin pushes him so that they reverse their position. Brian is now laying down on his back with Justin straddling his hips. The contact on his co*ck is so good, he has to buck up to increase it.

"Roll over."

Brian frowns.

"Huh Sunshine, we've talked about this."

Is this some sort of punishment? A way to get back at him after last night?

"I'm not going to f*ck you Brian. Well, except if you ask me to of course."

Justin, in a perfect imitation of Brian's own trademark expression, raises an eyebrow, silently asking 'Are you, asking me to?'

"Dream on Sunshine"

Brian complies and rolls on his stomach. He grabs a pillow and hugs it under his chest for comfort.

Justin starts kissing him lightly on the right shoulder, hands caressing his back and sides. The kissing remains light but moves to the back of Brian’s neck, between his shoulder blades, down his spine. Somewhere along the way, kissing becomes biting and licking and Brian feels himself grow hard against the sheets. Justin keeps going down until he reaches Brian's ass. With how talented Justin turned out to be with his mouth and tongue, Brian had been anxiously waiting for this very moment. Justin can make him go crazy with his lips around his co*ck, what will it feel like on his ass, in his ass. Brian shudders just thinking about what's to come, God he's a slu*t for a good rim job.

Just when he thinks that, he feels the tip of Justin's tongue in the dimple above his left cheek. Brian’s surprised by the moan that escapes his lips and feels Justin smile against him. The kid continues his journey to the right dimple and Brian is now almost vibrating from how much he needs Justin to speed things along.

Finally, after what feels like hours, Justin talented tongue trails along his crack, barely teasing until it reaches his balls. Brian wants to protest but when he opens his mouth to speak, Justin's already going back up, this time his tongue flat against Brian's hole and all he can manage is to hiss a 'f*ck yes'. Justin's co*ck is hard as hell somewhere against his calf and Brian is half tempted to rub against it to torment the blond. The selfish part of him though really wants Justin to be 100% committed to his own pleasure so he doesn't move.

What drives Brian absolutely nuts is the same thing that makes sex with Justin that much more pleasurable. Justin is not showing off, he's not trying to maximize his own pleasure. He's experiencing, trying out, enjoying every inch of Brian he can get his hands and mouth on. He's dedicated, laser focused on each of Brian's reactions - be it a twitch, a jerk, a moan, a tightening of his fingers. What makes Justin a great lover is how he gives himself entirely, no holding back, just blind trust and total abandon.

"More" Brian hears himself moan - beg?

Any other trick would have been smug and overly proud, probably would have called everyone he knew the minute he got out of the loft to brag to his friends that he had made THE Brian Kinney lose all control. The only reaction this elicits from Justin is a growl, deep in his throat, like the sound of Brian's breathy plea is the ultimate turn on. Brian feels something warm in his chest, something way too close to affection for him to spend too much time thinking about it. Instead, he focuses on Justin's hands that are now spreading his cheeks apart, and his tongue that experimentally stabs at Brian’s hole, trying to pass through the tight resistance and taste him from within. Only moments later, he feels it finally forcing its way inside and the world is reduced to this small part of him and of Justin. The blond keeps thrusting inside him and Brian bites his lips, knowing what will spill if he lets them open. He hangs on to the last shred of his control like a lifeline. There's no way he's letting the kid top him, despite the unfamiliar need he feels to be filled right now.

Like he's reading his mind - and that’s quite the frightening thought - Justin climbs back up Brian body, trailing kisses on his way but leaving one of his hands on his ass. Once his mouth is on Brian's ear, he asks "Can I?" Brian is confused for a second, then understanding dawns on him when he feels Justin's finger trace his hole.

Brian wants to say no, he does, but he's desperate to come and deep down he knows he can trust Justin not to f*ck this up, not to push for more.

In lieu of a straight answer, Brian blindly reaches for the lube and pushes it in Justin's direction. He guesses more than he sees the bright smile across Justin's face and that warm foreign feeling is back.

Wasting no time, like maybe he's afraid Brian's going to change his mind, Justin has a lubed finger circling his hole. Slowly, he pushes in and Brian exhales a loud breath.

"f*ck, that's tight. Is it all right?" Brian scoffs and feels the need to break the seriousness of the moment.

"I'm no virgin Sunshine, it might have been a while, but I can take it."

"I know, it's just - I want it to be good for you, like it is good for me when you do it."

Damn if that doesn't make the warm feeling come back full force. Is he coming down with some kind of fever?

Brian just nods, not knowing what to say without sounding either like an asshole or a lesbian.

Justin resumes thrusting with one finger. When Brian relaxes around it, a second one joins in and Brian moans loudly. The kid wants to make it good? Brian might as well let him know how good. As always Justin experiments, he's not fumbling awkwardly, more like testing rhythm, pressure levels, direction. When he hits Brian’s prostate spot on, the brunet jerks beneath him whispering a 'right there' wantonly. Ever the good student, Justin continues attacking the same spot over and over again while mouthing along Brian's exposed neck. Once again he leans in Brian's ear and huskily says "Feels good Brian? Do you like having my fingers inside you? Can you imagine if it was my co*ck thrusting in your ass right now? I bet I could make it so good for you..."

Brian can only groan because Justin’s right. He's so close to say f*ck it and let Justin f*ck him. He's overwhelmed with the feeling of the kid’s fingers inside him, his voice in his ear, the feel of his body draped over his own, light but strong. Brian's alternating between rutting against the mattress and pushing back on Justin's fingers. Way too soon he’s crying out his org*sm, back arching as much as he can with Justin still half on top of him.

For a minute, he doesn't know what to do. He's never let himself be vulnerable like this during sex - hell even outside of sex - with anyone. Even in the rare occurrence when he bottomed he always had been the one in control. He's not sure how to handle what just happened with Justin so he waits. His heart beat eventually slows down, his breathing less shallow, his body relaxing a little. Suddenly, Justin is rolling him on his back, away from the wet spot and his arms are full of soft blond. Justin raises his head, kisses him deeply and whispers a soft 'thank you' before resting his head on his chest.

#

Justin is restless. He's exhilarated, so horny, so happy. He cannot believe Brian let him do that. His plan at first had only been to give him a rim job. He wanted to taste all of him, and when Brian had done it for him, it had felt so amazing he wanted to try it, badly.

He wasn't sure how the evening would turn out after the previous night but his non-talk with Daphne and some alone time led him to the conclusion that things were rather simple. Did he want to keep having sex with Brian? Yes. So, he was willing to do it on Brian's terms. Would he rather he was not f*cking other people? Probably, but he also understood Brian's point of view. He was still sort of young, super-hot and he enjoyed it, nothing wrong with that. Justin himself given the opportunity would like to f*ck someone else. They had fun together and as long as he didn't have to witness Brian's other activities like the other night he believed he would be fine. If he were to fall in love with the man, and he felt that was a strong possibility, well he'd figure it out when the time came.

Once inside the loft, all remaining doubts had vanished, he wanted to be there. Hyped on this new-found confidence he had dared ask for Brian to let him explore, experiment and f*ck, it had been more than he bargained for.

He's rock hard against Brian's thigh, but he doesn't move. He can feel that Brian needs a minute to compose himself, to build his facade again. Touching him like this had felt amazing, Justin had wanted nothing more than to bury himself deep in Brian's ass, but he knew better. Unless Brian asked him to, and he so hoped he would, Justin would not try to f*ck him. He respected the boundary that had been clearly established. Perhaps he would try to find a willing trick to practice with, to be ready when - more like if - the time came.

Justin is pulled out of his thoughts when Brian flips them around. He's now trapped under the hard body, both hands pinned at his side. Brian is kissing him thoroughly, tongue soft against his own. All too soon, he breaks the kiss. Justin whimpers at the loss but sighs contently when Brian instead sucks on his earlobe. He feels Brian's breath on his ear, as if he is about to speak but then it's gone. Brian trails down his chest, laving his nipples with attention. Justin's back arches on the bed, trying to get more of Brian on him.

"Patience, Sunshine."

Justin relents and trusts Brian to make it good. He's rewarded for his patience when Brian's mouth is on his co*ck not ten seconds later. Brian just mouths the length of him, hot breath making him squirm. Justin is trying not to beg for him to do something but his body's doing all the talking. It's only when Brian takes his whole co*ck in his mouth that Justin allows himself to speak.

"God, Brian..."

He hesitates a little before clutching the brunet's hair in his hands, not pulling, just holding him where he wants him. Apparently, Brian likes it because he's moaning around Justin and f*ck this feels incredible. He's been hard for a while now, so he holds on to the ridiculously small amount of control he built over the course of his equally ridiculously short sex life. Brian senses his predicament and gives him a short reprieve to get his excitement under control. He nips at the sensitive skin of Justin’s inner thighs, hands kneading his ass. After Justin has his breathing under control, Brian comes back with a vengeance though, engulfing his co*ck in his hot mouth, sucking on it hard, hand fumbling with his balls. When Justin hits the back of Brian’s throat, he's gone and comes hard in the older man's mouth. Justin swears he passes out for a second with how intense the pleasure is.

He has no time to dwell on it though because next thing he knows he's maneuvered on all fours and Brian's inside of him. He'll never tire of this feeling he's certain of it. He's feeling so full, stretched out by Brian's 9 inches. Justin briefly wonders if sex would be this good with anyone else. Is it like this for everybody? Somehow, he doubts it, otherwise nobody would ever get out of bed. The real question is, is it that good for Brian too? And if so, is it as good with all the other guys he f*cks?

The man in question must have felt Justin’s mind drifting because with a sharp slap on his ass, Brian recalls Justin's attention to what they're doing.

"Stay with me, or I'll have to punish you."

"Is that a promise?" Justin turns to look at Brian - as much as he can in his position - and gives him his most innocent and shy smile.

Brian smirks, and answers between two thrusts of his hips.

"We'll discuss your kinks later Sunshine, for now I'm going to f*ck you so hard you won't be able to sit tomorrow."

And f*ck if he does. When Justin thinks he cannot handle any more, Brian pulls him into his body, they're now both on their knees, Justin's back flush against Brian's chest. The older man is holding Justin with an arm across his shoulder on his front. His other hand is now fisting Justin’s leaking co*ck. Brian stops the in-and-out movement of his hips, replacing it with deep circles against Justin’s ass. This way, he stays deep inside Justin and massages his sweet spot relentlessly. It's only when Brian comes deep inside him, body tight like a bow behind him and teeth biting into his shoulder that Justin lets go.

After that, they lazily shower together, both sated and subdued. They kiss without purpose except their need to be close together. They soap each other, rinse off and get out. When they're dry they put their jeans on, no underwear, no shirt and plop down on the couch.

Justin's stomach growls loudly and they both laugh.

"Sorry, I'm just not used to exercising this much, my body's confused."

He expects Brian to subtly make him leave now that the f*cking part is over, but he's pleasantly surprised by his next offer.

"So, what do you say, take out then we can 'exercise' some more?" Brian wiggles his eyebrows, and this is the first time that Justin thinks of him as 'cute'.

"Sure."

"Thai OK?" Brian asks, phone already in hand.

"Yeah."

Brian orders for them and announces that the food will be here in 30 minutes.

Justin starts to panic over how they'll fill the next half hour as they have already f*cked and showered, but he's saved by the phone ringing.

Brian answers with a bored 'yes'.

"How do you feel?"

"Christ Linds, that's too much information."

"Well you're the one that drugged me to get my sperm."

"I'm sure."

"Look I'll stop by tomorrow OK?"

"You need money? Anything?"

"Sorry I'm fresh out of these."

"My best to your husband."

Brian hangs up and returns to the couch like nothing happened. Justin is utterly confused.

"Brian?"

"Yeah."

"Who did you give you sperm to?"

Brian then goes to explain how his good friend Lindsay wanted a baby with her partner Melanie and asked Brian to be the father. How Brian, high out of his mind, had said yes and about 11 months later, which happened to be the first night they met, his son Gus was born.

"Wow, so you're a dad."

"Barely, I gave my sperm, that hardly makes me anything, they are Gus' parents."

"OK but, he's still your kid."

With a thoughtful look in his eyes, Brian concedes "Yeah I guess he is."

Justin feels something heavy in his stomach. He hadn't planned for the discussion to go this way and now he wishes he hadn't asked. He really doesn't want to think about fathers and sons right now.

The smell of food is what pulls him out of his funk a little while later. He's never had Thai food, turns out he really likes it. He polishes two thirds of the meal, while Brian picks a few bites here and there.

"I've gained two pounds just looking at you eat."

"Shut up, I'm still growing and you're perfect."

Brian grins, "Perfect huh?"

"Like you don't know how hot you are."

"I guess I do. Still is nice to hear once in a while."

Justin puts down the remnants of his food and straddles Brian's lap.

"You - are - hot - gorgeous - sexy - perfect" He breathes each word between kisses. When he's done, one of his hands is down Brian's jeans, stroking him slowly. The air around them is charged with sexual tension and both are more than ready to relieve it.

Later, when they're both too tired to come anymore, Justin closes his eyes, just for one second, he thinks, just to recuperate a little before leaving. One second turns into several hours and when morning comes, Justin is fast asleep next to Brian, a hand loosely draped across the older man’s waist.

When he opens his eyes again, the sun is coming up. This time there's no panic, Justin instantly knows where he is. He turns his head to look at Brian. He's lying on his stomach, sleeping deeply. His arm under his pillow, head turned in Justin's direction. The sheets are low on his waist, uncovering his back and the curve above his ass. Once again, Justin's fingers hitch. He gets up silently and goes to the desk area. He looks around a bit and ends up borrowing a pencil and paper from the printer. It'll do. He returns to the bedroom and sits on the floor next to the bed. The moment the pencil first comes in contact with the paper, he's lost to his drawing. Quickly, a sleeping Brian appears on the thin paper. The quality of the drawing isn't what Justin's used to but given the material and his poor sitting arrangement it's expected. Besides, this drawing is not about technique or even art, it is a release. Something that pours out of him for fear that if he holds it inside any longer he'll combust screaming. Each line releases more tension and when the picture is close to complete, Justin feels his muscles finally relax.

He looks up to his model and silently swears when he sees that he's slowly waking up. He's still naked on the floor with nowhere to hide the paper, so without a second thought he crushes it into a tight ball and throws it in the trash can next to the bed. He doubts that Brian will look too closely at the content, used condoms and wrappers filling it halfway to the brim.

#

The first thing on Brian's mind when he starts to wake up is that the kid once again left during the night. He feels a pang of disappointment that he quickly pushes down. This was what he wanted, what he is comfortable with, right? Except that when he opens his eyes fully, Justin's still there, naked next to the bed, fumbling with a pencil.

"What the f*ck are you doing?"

Justin blushes, and Brian finally has confirmation that it spreads to his neck and chest when that happens. His stomach flutters and his co*ck awakens.

"Nothing – huh - I was just about to leave and wanted to write you a note."

"Naked?" Brian sticks his tongue in his cheek and smirks.

Justin turns into a deeper shade of red if possible. Then suddenly, like it happened so many times already, Brian sees the moment when Justin gets his wits back, the blush and shy smile disappear, replaced by a sexy grin.

"Are you saying you'd rather I get dressed?"

Brian laughs softly.

"I said no such thing, twat."

Brian lunges at Justin, grabbing his arm and pulling him onto the bed. Soon, they're a tangled mess, kissing and stroking each other.

Later, when they've both come down from their org*sms, Brian is thinking that waking up with someone isn't that bad after all.

"Do you have a shift this morning?"

"Yes, actually, I'm supposed to start in an hour."

"Don't you need to stop by your place to change?"

Justin's face falls and he quickly looks away. He's already up and dressing himself when he answers.

"That's OK I have a change of clothes at the diner."

Brian doesn't really know what to make of his reaction, did Justin think he was pushing him out the door?

"If you can wait for me to shower and get dressed, I'll give you a ride there. I need to grab some breakfast before going to the office anyway."

The offer seems to lighten Justin's mood and Brian refuses to believe that this is why he made it in the first place.

"Can I shower too?"

"Sure, to save time you should probably shower with me though."

"Of course." Justin answers knowingly.

They head to the shower together, both smiling.

Chapter 6: Part 6

Chapter Text

Brian enters his office exhausted after his latest client's meeting. Why did they have to make it so hard? They know he's the best and they'll end up signing with him, so why do they feel the need to make him jump through so many hoops? He cannot wait to make partner so that he doesn't have to bother with the lowest accounts anymore. He'll be able to delegate those to the likes of Bob and Brad, and he'll handle the most interesting ones.

He rests his head on his desk chair for a minute, trying to restore his energy before diving into another account. He's startled by the phone.

"Kinney."

"Hey, it's me. Is this a bad time?"

"No, it's perfect actually. I need a distraction."

"A distraction? Like 'my hand down your pants' kind of distraction?"

"I wish, but I have another meeting in 5 minutes so don't start anything you won't be able to finish Sunshine."

"Too bad, I was already naked."

"You're killing me...Was there a reason for your call except torturing me?"

"Oh yes actually, Debbie asked me to tell you that your presence was required at Sunday night dinner this week."

"And she couldn't tell me herself why?"

"She said, and I quote 'I don't f*cking care how many blow j*bs you have to give him, I expect him to be there'."

Brian laughs softly.

"So how many?"

"How many what?"

"How many blow j*bs for my presence?"

"Tell you what, if you come to dinner, you have free rein for the rest of the night."

"Are you sure? Could be dangerous."

"I'm counting on it."

Brian growls, he knows Justin's baiting him but damn he's already hard just thinking about the possibilities.

"Deal."

"Later."

"Later Sunshine."

After their brief exchange, Brian is somehow reinvigorated. With a smile on his face, he allows himself to reflect on the past few weeks. After the events at Babylon and the night he spent with Justin, things seemed to fall into place naturally. They never spoke about it, to Brian’s great satisfaction and Justin didn’t seem to hold any kind of grudge – except where Michael is concerned but that’s another story. They spend a few nights a week together, they f*ck – in the loft, in backrooms, even at the baths once – they hang out with his group of friends, a group that is fast becoming Justin’s too. Emmett and Debbie in particular are now really close to Justin, they are very protective of him and that means more lectures on how not to be an asshole for Brian. He’s glad people have the kid’s back.

He’s still surprised with how things turned out. He expected to be rid of the kid by now. That first night he finally f*cked Justin, he thought the chase would be over and he’d move on. But somehow, he hadn’t. After the first week and his stunt at Babylon, he expected Justin to bail, but he didn’t. So, they kept running into each other, sometimes on purpose, sometimes not - nowadays, more often than not, on purpose. They flirt shamelessly when Justin is working at the diner and have hot sex in the restroom during his breaks. They never spend more than two nights in a row in the same bed, and half the time Justin is gone when he wakes up.

When they go their separate ways, Brian finds another mouth, another ass to fulfill his needs. It is getting more and more difficult to find guys that can match Justin’s talents and appetite in bed, but the rush of the anonymous fast sex still makes his blood pump faster. He doesn’t know if Justin is aware of how many guys he’s f*cked since they started this, whatever it is between them, they don’t really talk about it. Sometimes, a hot guy would cruise him while they are together. When it happens, Justin only smiles and lets him decide how to handle it. Although since he took a stand in Babylon, Brian doesn’t feel the need to flaunt his tricks in Justin’s face anymore, so he usually passes.

All in all, Brian thinks they have the perfect arrangement. He finally found someone that’s not trying to change him or to analyze him. Justin takes what Brian gives, without asking for more or trying to trick him into a relationship he doesn’t want. Come to think of it, it probably is the first time anyone has never expected more from Brian, but in a good way. His family is always badgering him about not caring about them, not being involved, as if the first 18 years of his life had never happened. They want him to be the perfect son, not caring that it probably means very different things for the three of them. Debbie, for all her motherly love, spends enough time telling him how much of a selfish asshole he is. He seems to be responsible for every little thing gone wrong around them. She’s always expected him to take care of Michael, to protect him and he did. Now she wants him to distance himself, that he sets Michael free, whatever the f*ck that means. Mikey, his best friend, always defending him, but secretly still hoping, hoping for more, for something that Brian won’t ever give him. It’s simmering under the surface of all their interactions, ‘love me’ Michael murmurs, ‘love only me’.

Compared to this perpetual feeling of being inadequate, his time with Justin is a breath of fresh air. It’s light, drama-free, filled with hot sex and, although Brian isn’t keen on admitting it, laughter and fun. Something surely can be said that the first person to make him feel this way is only 17, but Brian leaves that to the therapist he’ll never speak to.

#

On Sunday, the ride back from Debbie's is filled with tension. When Justin dares to look at Brian, all he can see is the man usual semi bored expression. Does he not remember what they agreed on? It's the only thing Justin has been able to think about since that fateful phone call a few days ago. He's imagined about a hundred different scenarios, all of them leaving him hard and wanting. Over the last few weeks of their agreement - even in his mind Justin's reluctant to call it a relationship - they've hinted at more kinky stuff, light spanking or bondage but without ever actually doing it. Just the thought of it was enough to turn them both on to no end. Tonight though, Justin agreed to anything Brian wanted to do so what will it be? And how can the bastard be so f*cking calm?!

The next time Justin glances at the other man, he sees a small smile on Brian's face.

"Something on your mind Sunshine?"

Busted . Best to end it now in case he actually forgot.

"Just wondering if you remembered our deal, about tonight I mean?"

"The deal where you said I'd own your ass if I agreed to stuff myself with lasagna and garlic bread and participate in boring conversation?”

“So, you do remember.” Justin is not sure if he’s more relieved or afraid.

“Are you scared?” Brian’s tone is teasing, bordering on mocking.

“A little.” Justin’s answer is not, it’s the truth, he is a little scared. Up until weeks ago he was a virgin, he’s not up to this. Why the f*ck did he offer Brian this deal?

Brian looks at him now, face really serious.

“You are?” Justin gives him a small nod.

“Do you trust me?” Justin feels the importance of the question, yet doesn’t have to think about it before answering.

“Yes, I trust you.” Brian seems to relax and focuses once again on his driving.

After this, they don’t talk but the silence is more comfortable, less tense. Justin is lost in thoughts again. He’s not so scared anymore, on the contrary, he cannot wait to see what Brian has planned. Funny how with a few words the older man was able to calm his nerves. He’s had that ability since the first night truth be told.

Sometimes Justin still thinks he’s going to wake up, find out that this was all a dream, an awesome, f*cking hot dream. Most of the time, he’s just enjoying it, riding the high of this new life he’s living with Brian and his friends. Michael still is kind of distant, not openly hostile like in the beginning but still cold. He seems to want all Brian’s time and attention and he doesn’t like being left out of a part of Brian’s life. Justin thinks that the problem lies in the fact that Michael doesn’t understand what’s going on between him and Brian. Michael sees their world as black and white. On one side, there are those that want the same thing as any straight person – and Michael himself, a partner, a marriage, a family, monogamy. On the other side are the Brians of this world. They f*ck without feelings, they despise relationships, they live for their pleasure and ‘f*ck you’ to whoever dares to judge them. Problem is, what Justin and Brian share does not fit in any of these two categories. To Michael this means two things, first the world might be a little more complex than what he thought, which shakes all the beliefs he founded his life on; second, it means that Brian doesn’t fit into the box Michael’s put him in anymore. If Brian is not who he always thought he was, then who is he? Is he still Michael's best friend? Does it mean that they could have been more? Is there still a place for Michael in his life?

Other than the issue of Michael, life is good, or as good as it can get given other circ*mstances. Justin works at the diner and makes good money, he goes to school and tries his best to be invisible, he hangs out with the guys at Woody’s or at Babylon and most of all, he f*cks Brian – or rather he gets f*cked but that’s just semantics. They see each other regularly at the loft or outside, sometimes just the two of them, but mostly with everyone. When they’re too worn out to f*ck, they order in, they talk, they even watched a movie once, a classic black and white movie, Brian kept mumbling the dialogues thinking Justin couldn’t hear him. Some days, Justin wonders if Brian will get tired of him, if the last time they f*cked would be the last time ever. He thinks about this less and less though. Brian never hinted that their thing had an expiration date and Justin begins to have a sense of security. He doesn’t push for anything more because he knows that would be the best way to ruin everything. The teen can see the looks they get when they’re out on Liberty Avenue. People whisper and gossip around them. He’s ‘the trick who stayed’, the twink that managed to worm his way into Brian’s life. On the occasions when he spends the night at the loft, he can feel how different what they have is from what Brian has with his tricks. When they’re spent, and Brian holds him against his chest, when they shower together, and Brian washes his hair carefully, when he orders food for Justin without having to ask what he wants, because Brian actually remembers what he likes. Brian might not be aware of it, or ready to admit it – even to himself – but they share more than their bodies, and Justin really believes that if he holds onto this fact long enough, Brian will one day be ready to acknowledge it.

“Justin?”

“Huh?”

“We’re here.”

“Oh yeah, sorry.”

“Where were you?”

“Just thinking.”

“Seems dangerous.” Brian smirks.

Justin can feel the butterflies make a comeback in his stomach.

They finally reach the front door, when Brian turns toward him and stops him with an arm on his chest.

“Justin, when we enter the loft, the game begins. You’ll submit to me completely, do you understand?”

Justin gulps nervously and nods.

“I need you to say it, do you understand?”

“Yes, I understand.”

“You need a safe word.”

“A safe word?”

“A word you’ll use if you want me to stop, if something makes you uncomfortable.”

“Why can’t I just say ‘stop’?”

Brian laughs softly.

“Because sometimes, your mouth says ‘stop’ but your body wants more. I need to be able to know when you really want to stop. It has to be something you wouldn’t ever use in a sexual context.”

“Oh. OK I have one.”

“Go on, tell me what it is.”

“Michael.”

Brian fully laughs now. “That definitely works.”

Brian goes to open the door and seems to reconsider for a second. He turns to Justin.

“Ready?”

Again, Justin can only nod.

“Justin.”

“Sorry, yes, I’m ready.”

They enter the loft and Justin is nervous as hell. He stands there, arms at his sides, at a loss at what to do. He shuffles on his feet and waits for Brian to say something.

“I want you naked on the bed. I need to prepare a few things, then I’ll join you. Wait for me and don’t touch yourself.”

Brian always has an aura of control, but damn, the commanding voice he’s using right now goes straight to Justin’s co*ck. Without waiting another minute, Justin enters the bedroom and starts to undress. He tries to sneak a peek at Brian, to at least get an inkling of what’s about to happen, but Brian’s back is to him and he can’t see anything. Once naked, Justin sits on the bed, not really knowing what to do with himself and the hard-on he’s had since the front door.

When Brian comes back, he has his hands full of objects, some Justin recognizes, others he doesn’t. Justin’s heart is pounding so hard in his chest, he’s pretty sure Brian can see it from the outside. The toys are laid on the bed and Brian goes to prepare himself. Justin expects him to get naked, but Brian keeps his undershirt and jeans on, top button undone. The sight is enough for Justin’s co*ck to fill up more. Brian sits down on the side of the bed, feet planted on the floor.

“Justin, come here, across my lap, on your stomach.”

Justin complies, albeit a bit awkwardly. He wants to please Brian so bad.

“Good.” He can feel Brian’s hand caressing his back, then his ass reverently.

“I’ve suffered through a very long and tedious evening because of you, so you deserve to be punished. I’m going to spank you, first with my hand, then with this.” He shows Justin a soft leather paddle.

Justin gasps, he wants it really bad, he’s not sure why. Is it weird?

“Ready?”

Justin answers in a shaky voice “Yes.”

The word barely escapes his lips that he can feel the first blow on his ass. His breath catches. He expected it to hurt, but it just stings a little. The next blow is less of a surprise, and he’s able to stifle his groan. He feels his dick harden against Brian’s thighs and his face burns with embarrassment.

“It’s OK to enjoy it Justin. Let yourself feel it and stop keeping quiet or I’ll have to spank you harder.”

“Oh God.” Justin is overwhelmed. The feel of Brian’s hand on his ass, his voice husky and commanding in his ear and the words he’s saying. Against his will, Justin’s raising his ass towards Brian, silently asking for more.

“Do you want more Justin?”

“Yes.”

“Ask for it.”

“Brian, please, I want more. I want you to spank me again.” They’ve been at it for less than 10 minutes and Justin’s already begging. His co*ck is hard and wet against Brian, he’s not sure how long he’ll last. The spanking resumes, Brian alternates between hard blows on his ass, and softer ones at the top of his thighs. Justin’s pretty sure his skin is red already, he can feel it warm up. After a brief pause, Justin feels a different kind of slap, he guesses Brian’s moved on to the paddle, and f*ck it feels amazing. Justin can no longer hold back his moans. He’s writhing on Brian’s lap, trying to find some release, yet not allowing himself to let go completely. Suddenly, Brian leans in to his ear.

“You can come Justin.” At the same time, the brunet lands a particularly hard blow and Justin comes, co*ck untouched, all over Brian’s lap.

Justin blacks out for a few seconds and comes to at the feeling of Brian’s hand softly massaging his burning backside. When the pounding in his ears stops, he hears Brian mumbling above him.

“Good boy, you did really good, so hot.” It’s enough for his arousal to flare up.

#

His dick is so hard right now, Brian is this close to saying ‘f*ck it’ and just f*cking Justin into the mattress. Seeing the kid spread out on his knees, pushing his fast reddening ass into his hand had been everything he’d hoped for and more. He needs to calm down fast, if he wants to see this through.

He keeps caressing Justin, until he’s ready to move again. Brian feels the kid’s dick hard again against his thighs and he smiles. The next step is going to be so much fun. He whispers in Justin's ear that he should lie down on the bed on his back. Brian then retrieves the restraints from the pile of things he prepared earlier and starts putting them on the younger man.

“You’re going to be tied up to the bed, I’m only restraining your arms for now but if you don’t obey, I’ll restrain your legs too. Understood?”

“Yes.” Justin’s voice is all arousal and anticipation. Brian had an idea that the blond would take to the game, but he had underestimated the kid’s submissive streak. They would have to explore that more later. Once Justin is all tied up, Brian removes his shirt and jeans and straddles him.

“I’m going to play with you for a while, you will want to come, but you’re not allowed to until I say so. If you come before I allow you to, you will be severely punished. Clear?”

“Yes.”

“You remember your safe word?”

“Yes.”

“Good boy.”

Brian starts at the top of Justin’s body, brushing his hair with his fingers softly. The boy purrs at his touch, leaning into his hand to get more. Brian cannot resist the sounds he makes and rewards Justin with a deep kiss. Justin responds eagerly, and pulls at his restraints, his arms automatically wanting to pull Brian closer.

“Easy Sunshine.” He’ll let it go this time, but if Justin keeps on testing the limits, he’ll have to up the stakes. The idea sends a shiver down Brian’s spine. He really needs to get a grip.

He resumes kissing Justin, lips then trailing on his cheek, down his jaw. When Brian reaches his neck, he bites softly then sucks at the soft skin. Justin is mewling under him, desperate for more. Brian keeps going down, mindful to stop at each of Justin’s most erogenous spots. Eventually, he finds himself facing Justin's impressive erection. The poor kid is already leaking profusely, co*ck bent over his stomach. Brian raises his eyes to meet Justin’s and makes a show of licking his lips, then without further delay, licks a stripe up Justin’s length. The younger man arches his back off the bed, both relieved and frustrated with the gesture. Good , Brian thinks, this is exactly where I want him . He enjoys the weight and taste of Justin for a while, lazily, just slowly bringing him to the edge without planning on taking him over. Justin pants and moans, head thrashing from side to side. His cheeks are flushed, a beautiful contrast with his blond hair and otherwise pale skin. Brian’s co*ck is so hard against the mattress, if he wants to keep going, he needs some instant relief.

He lets go of Justin’s dick, and climbs back his body. Justin looks beyond frustrated but like a good little boy says nothing. His eyes are this stormy blue, his mouth half open. Brian kisses him briefly and Justin chases after his mouth when the brunet pulls back. Brian continues climbing Justin’s body, up until his co*ck is right in the boy’s face.

“Open up.”

Justin immediately opens his mouth and Brian thrusts inside without preamble. Justin moans in satisfaction. Brian keeps thrusting slowly at first, then more forcefully. He grasps Justin’s hair to direct him. He’s so close he can almost touch his release. With a last thrust of his hips, Brian's coming, quickly filling Justin’s mouth. He doesn’t want the kid to choke – given his position swallowing it all is not easy – so he stands back a little. On instinct, Justin opens his mouth wide to catch the last drops of Brian’s come. This is so f*cking hot, Brian co*ck barely softens, instead remaining in a half-erect state.

Not wanting Justin to see how affected he is, Brian resumes his place at the blond's groin, licking the still rock-hard dick. To increase Justin’s pleasure and frustration, he rapidly lubes up two of his fingers and roughly pushes them inside the kid. He keeps a steady in-and-out movement, only occasionally grazing Justin's sweet spot. Each time he does though, Justin cries out, clamping down on Brian’s fingers. Brian is careful to slow down his movements when it happens, to make sure Justin doesn’t come until it’s time.

After one particular loud cry, Justin starts whimpering.

“Brian, please.”

“Not yet.” Comes his unfaltering answer. Not even close .

“I can’t – I need – Ah” Justin’s not making any sense anymore, a bundle of unsatisfied needs. Brian grips Justin’s co*ck tightly at the base and squeezes. He feels Justin relax instantly.

Still determined to push Justin to his limits, Brian adds a third finger in his ass, and hollows his cheek to suck in earnest. He’s rewarded with the feeling of Justin’s entire body tightening again, embodiment of his frustration and his efforts not to come. Somewhere in the back of his brain, Brian knows he shouldn’t get off on this. Does that make him the selfish bastard everyone thinks he is, that he gets harder each minute that Justin struggles not to come? Being in complete control of the boy’s body, his mind, turns Brian on to no end and he wants to enjoy every second of it.

“Brian? Brian! Please, you have to stop, I can’t hold it anymore, I can’t…”

Brian stops his movements, he releases Justin’s co*ck but keeps his fingers where they are. He moves up and nuzzles Justin’s neck.

“Shhhh, it’s OK, you’re doing great.”

Justin melts into his touch, releasing a loud breath.

“I’m going to f*ck you now and I won’t touch you.”

“Please, yes, f*ck me.” The boy is totally gone, eyes glazed over, sweat forming all over his body. He’s in that magical place where nothing matters except pleasure and release. If he wasn’t high on control, Brian might envy him for a minute.

Wasting no time, Brian prepares himself, positions Justin’s legs around his waist, and dives in. He struggles to keep a steady, slow, torturous pace. The quick break having tempered Justin’s arousal, he needs to build it back to its highest level. Only a few minutes later, Justin’s pulling madly at his restraints, trying to grasp something to alleviate the tension in his body. His legs are painfully clamping around Brian’s waist and he’s bordering on sobbing, muttering non-sense. When Brian looks at him, he sees unshed tears in his eyes. The brunet increases his speed, pounding into Justin now, aiming for his prostate.

Brian can feel his own release quickly approaching. Not able to delay it anymore, and not wanting to push Justin too far his first time, he takes hold of Justin’s face and turns it toward him.

“Justin, look at me.”

Justin stares at him, eyes unfocused, tears trapped in his eyelashes.

Brian speaks on each exhale between thrusts.

“Come. With. Me.”

Last word barely uttered, Justin is crying out, his shoulders the only part of his body still on the bed. He comes all over his stomach, shaking and panting hard. Brian follows suit, his org*sm ripped out of him with a loud groan.

#

Justin spends the next minutes in a confused daze. He doesn’t remember anything, his name, his life. He doesn’t feel anything, body numb and mind floating above it. When he finds his way back, Brian is massaging his wrists, he must have untied him before.

“How do you feel?”

Elated, exhausted, amazed, sore, overwhelmed.

“OK I think.”

“Justin… You need to talk to me. I have to make sure you’re really OK. Look, I’ll get you something to drink and a snack and then we can talk some more.”

“Yeah OK”

Except that Justin has no clue how he really feels. This whole experience was beyond anything he had ever imagined. The spanking part had been f*cking hot and rather easy for him. He was in no way prepared for what had followed. He wanted to scream, to rip out his bounds, to beg Brian – and he had – but also, he wanted to take it, he wanted to please Brian and make him proud. The reward had been worth everything and more, when Justin finally came, it was like dying and coming back to life.

Now though, he can feel his body shutting down, begging for a reprieve after this intense moment. Brian comes back to bed with a glass of juice and some crackers. If Justin had known that all it took for Brian to be this attentive was to let the older man f*ck him to an inch of his life, he would have done it sooner.

“Come on, eat.”

Justin complies, the first bite triggering his appetite. Soon, he has wiped out the juice and the snacks. He doesn’t really feel any better however, he’s shaking still, and he can’t seem to settle in his own body. He wants Brian to hold him, but he doesn’t know how to ask, he fears the other man will mock or refuse him.

“Justin, this was a lot, it’s normal to be overwhelmed. Just tell me what you need, OK?”

“Could you just hold me for a minute?”

He braces himself for Brian’s reaction, then feels himself being pulled down the bed, Brian’s arms tight around him. He nuzzles the older man’s neck, positioning himself more comfortably. The silence is only disturbed by the sound of their breathing. After a while, Brian repositions them so that they are face to face on their sides.

“Ready to talk now?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Anything, how you feel. Let’s start simple, did you like it?”

Justin feels himself blush. He’s learnt early on that there was no need to be shy about sex - or anything really – with Brian, but this is uncharted territory, even for them.

“Yes, I liked it, a lot.”

“Is there anything that made you uncomfortable?”

“Not really, I mean, when you spanked me, I guess I felt a little ashamed that I liked it so much.”

“You shouldn’t be ashamed to like what you like. There’s nothing wrong with it as long as everyone agrees. Anything else?”

“After, when you would drive me crazy and then not let me come…”

“Edging, that’s what it’s called.”

“Yeah that, it was… intense, really intense. I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to take it, but I really wanted to please you, to make you… proud? Is that weird?”

“I told you, nothing’s weird or wrong.”

Justin only nods, still in a state of exhaustion.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure, this goes both ways.”

“How was it? For you I mean.”

Brian chuckles.

“f*cking hot.”

Justin smiles proudly but sobers up at his next thought.

“Is it something you do often?” Justin suddenly has visions of whips and leather collars.

“The dominating thing? Not really, I’ve done it a few times in specialized clubs or things like that. It’s not like I want to be someone’s daddy or master. Not really my thing. Some kinky games like we did once in a while, yeah sure.”

They fall into silence once again. Justin can barely keep his eyes open. He’s almost asleep when Brian talks again.

“Hey, Sunshine?”

“Mmmmm.”

“Does it mean that you’d want to do it again?”

“Totally, yeah.”

#

Brian keeps glancing at the door waiting for it to open. Every five minutes he tells himself to stop being so pathetic. At which point he manages to join the conversation for about two minutes before his gaze finds itself stuck on the door again. Justin's late for his shift, he never is late. f*ck, it's almost like he lives in the freaking diner. If he doesn’t arrive shortly, Brian might have to spank him again like he did two weeks ago. Just thinking about it makes his jeans uncomfortably tight. Back on track Kinney .

Justin’s shift started an hour ago and he's nowhere to be seen. Brian checks his phone, again, to make sure he doesn’t have any missed call or message. He’s not too sure why he’s so rattled by Justin’s absence, it’s just not like the kid to bail, especially when it comes to work. Debbie seems to start worrying as well and it doesn't help at all. Finally, about an hour and a half into his shift Justin comes barreling through the door all sweaty and red. The ' Thank God he’s okay ’ in Brian’s head, is quickly followed by a ' Christ, I’m a f*cking puss* ’, and finally by an unrelated question ‘ What the f*ck is he wearing?’.

At once everyone in the diner is looking at Justin, not a small part of the crowd with a leering eye. Brian himself tries to feign indifference but his hardening co*ck tells a different story. Justin is his usual teenage smiling self but in lieu of his baggy cargo pants and too tight sweatshirt, he's wearing what appears to be like a private school uniform, completed with emblazoned jacket, striped tie and f*cking dress shoes.

Brian glances at his watch and realizes he really needs to get going. He rushes to the door just in time to catch the end of the conversation between Debbie and Justin.

"... detention. I couldn't get out of it. That asshole wouldn't listen to anything, he even took my phone. I'm really sorry Deb."

"Don't worry about it Sunshine, Kiki stayed to help. Now go and change before the vultures pounce. "

"Thanks Deb, you're the best." He kisses her on the cheek and moves toward the break room. It's then that he realizes that Brian is standing there.

"Oh hi."

Brian says nothing, just looks him up and down with a raised eyebrow.

"What?"

"What?! Did you just get here from a stag party?"

"Huh no, that's my school uniform, you know for when I go to school." Justin answers with a confused frown on his face, like he’s stating the obvious.

Has Brian just landed in a foreign galaxy? Did everyone know about this but him?

"Just didn't know you were a trust fund kid. With all the hours you put in here I thought you actually needed the cash."

The look on Justin's face is part hurt part anger and Brian is confused. He's just teasing, what if the kid has money, good for him. He could use it to dress better though.

"f*ck you Brian. You don't know anything about me."

Okay, what?

Justin storms past him to the break room and Brian is left standing there like an idiot. He turns around and catches Debbie looking at him shaking her head in disapproval.

"What? I didn't know teenage boys could PMS."

"You're an idiot." With that she hits him in the back of the head.

Brian sighs exasperated, when did his family decide to take Justin's side? Obviously, there's a lot more that Debbie wants to say, so Brian waves his hand around, telling her to get it out.

"Have you ever been to Justin's house?"

"Huh no, I'm not really into meeting the parents of the guys I f*ck."

"Right, but you never drop him off, or meet him there?"

"No, he always says no when I offer, I assumed he didn't want them to know about me, or him for that matter."

"And that's in the middle of the night, right?"

Can she get to the point already? This twenty questions game is getting really old.

"Can you get to the f*cking point Debbie?"

"My point is, he's a seventeen-year-old kid, goes to private school but doesn't own a car, out at all hours of the night but refusing to be driven home because he'd rather take the bus. When he spends the night, do you see him calling anyone? Does anyone call him wondering where he is? Does that seem normal to you?"

"OK so maybe I was wrong about the trust fund thing, maybe he's not loaded. And we both know that lots of parents lack actual parental instincts Deb. How is that my problem?"

Debbie looks at him with a look of frustration. She shakes her head again and moves to get back to work. Brian is even more confused now than before their talk. So, he doesn't know much about Justin's family, big deal. Brian's not responsible for how Justin decides to spend his nights, if anything, Debbie should be lecturing the kid’s parents, not him. This being said, Brian knows Debbie will be on his case if he doesn’t at least try to make sure everything is alright with Justin. This in mind, he decides to come back when Justin’s shift is over to try and talk to him.

#

Justin spends the remainder of his shift in a foul mood. First, detention with that asshole Chris Hobbs, then his little run in with Brian. It’s not like he deliberately hid the fact that he was going to private school, it’s just that it was easier. He didn’t feel like talking about his country club background, his family or why he desperately needed money. So, he just didn’t tell, referring to school in a vague manner, never using the full name of Saint James Academy and he always made sure to wear ‘street clothes’ around everyone.

Today, though, the f*cking teacher had punished him for a fight he hadn’t started, and he was running so late he didn’t have a choice. He couldn’t afford to lose his job at the diner, no matter what Brian now seems to think. Now, with the permanent scowl on his face he sported and the hour and a half he missed on his shift, his tips are going to be for sh*t, f*ck . To top it all, Brian thinks he is some brat, just rebelling against Mommy and Daddy dearest, trust fund waiting on the side. They might not talk much about deep meaningful things but Brian ought to know him a little by now, no? After what he calls their ‘special night’, he thought maybe they had grown closer, it certainly had felt this way, an admission of trust, a form of intimacy. Justin should have known better, Brian is all about f*cking – amazing kinky sex included - emotions have no place in their whatever the f*ck they have.

Finally, his shift ends, and Justin gathers his things in the break room. He’s folding his apron when his cell phone goes off.

“Hello.”

“Justin!”

“Molly? How are you calling me?”

“I took Mom’s phone, she’s in the garden.”

“Does she know you’re calling me?”

“Of course not.”

“Molly… You shouldn’t lie to Mom. You’ll get in trouble because of me.”

“But I miss you. When are you coming home?”

“Molly it’s complicated.”

“It’s not! I want to see you.”

“Look, I’ll try to come and see you this week, OK?”

“Promise?”

“Yes Mollusk, I promise. Now hang up before Mom gets back.”

“OK. I love you.”

“Love you too Molly.”

Justin hangs up, heart heavy and eyes stinging. It’s only when he turns around to get his bag that he realizes Brian is there.

“Hot girlfriend?”

“Demanding sister actually.”

“I didn’t know you had a sister.” No sh*t , it’s not like he asked.

“Well, like I said, you don’t know much about me.”

“I guess I don’t.”

The following silence is rather awkward. Justin doesn’t really know what to say or what to expect. He knows Brian’s not going to apologize, and he’s not ready to explain why his comment hurt.

“Debbie’s worried about you.”

“She shouldn’t be.”

“That’s what I told her.”

Brian is looking at him intently, almost challenging him to say otherwise. For a second Justin imagines himself confiding in Brian, telling him about his parents, about the mess is in, having a shoulder to cry on. Except Brian wouldn’t provide any comfort, he would probably just dismiss him, advising to suck it up and stop being a little fa*ggot.

Abandoning the idea of coming clean, Justin puts on his jacket and goes to leave. Brian grabs his arm before he exits the room.

“That uniform of yours? Any chance you’d wear it again tonight?” He smirks, tongue settled against his cheek.

Justin laughs, reading the question as a way for Brian to apologize without having to say the words.

“Sure, Mr Kinney. Anything you want, Mr Kinney.”

He feels Brian following him out but doesn’t wait for him. Just outside the diner, Brian catches up to him and pulls him in for a searing kiss. A new kind of tension rising between the two men.

Chapter 7: Part 7

Chapter Text

Since Molly called, Justin is feeling down. He’s at the end of his rope and he’s not sure how much time he’s going to be able to keep this up. Since Brian told him about Debbie’s concerns, Justin feels like she’s onto him. She’s always pushing food on him, offering rides and asking questions. His resolve to do this on his own is weakening, and he wishes he could just break down and let her take care of him.

Brian hasn’t broached the topic again but he’s awfully insistent when Justin tries to go ‘home’ in the middle of the night. He also asked a few times about Molly, going as far as to even share a little about his own sister. Justin stayed on safe territory, recalling funny anecdotes and sibling bickering. It was actually nice to share this with Brian.

Tonight, Justin managed to get out of the loft after their latest f*cking fest. The warmth of the bed was enticing but Justin didn’t want to take advantage of Brian’s guilt or whatever it is. Justin’s made it on his own so far, and soon he’ll be able to rent a room or something. When he gets out of the building, he’s immediately assaulted by the cold and the pouring rain. f*ck . He just wants to lie down and sleep but it’s not going to happen now. Defeated, he makes his way to the diner, praying that Debbie’s not working.

Justin enters the diner, soaked to the bone, shaking. He falls in a booth in the back, hoping to remain anonymous. He should have known he was out of luck. He barely has time to sit before Debbie rushes to him.

“Sunshine! What are you doing here at this hour? Christ, you’re dripping. Come on, let’s go into the break room, I’ll give you something to dry you off.”

Before he can utter one word, he’s ushered to the back. He follows Debbie, all the fight leaving his body.

“Sit.”

Like a rag doll, Justin sits and puts his head on his folded arms.

“Justin, what’s going on? Why aren’t you home?”

That word is the last straw. Justin’s face crumples, tears running down his cheeks.

“Home? I don’t have a home, not anymore.”

“What are you talking about? What happened?”

“He kicked me out, just like that.”

“Brian? That asshole, I told him to be careful, I’m going to have his balls on a platter.”

“Brian? No. My dad.”

“Your dad? Why? When?”

“He found out I was gay, didn’t like it, threw me out.”

“Tonight?”

Justin smiles sadly. He wishes he was strong enough, but he wants, no he needs, some comfort right now.

“No, 3 months ago.”

Debbie gasps, hand going to her chest. Suddenly, Justin is uncomfortable. Comfort he wanted but pity? He’s not one of Debbie’s lost boys, he’s practically an adult.

“Deb, it’s all right. I’ll just wait until the rain stops and I’ll be out of here. You don’t have to worry about me, I’ve been handling it so far, it’s no big deal.”

“No big deal? f*ck Sunshine! Where have you been sleeping this whole time?”

In a whisper, Justin tells the truth for the first time in 3 months.

“Under the bleachers at school.”

“Christ!”

A tense silence takes up all the space of the room. Debbie’s clearly upset, trying to figure out what to say first, on who to yell at. Then, she calms down, apparently having come up with a decision.

“You’re coming home with me.”

“No, no, no Deb, that’s exactly why I didn’t tell anyone. I've got this OK? With the money I make here I’ll soon be able to rent something and when I graduate I’ll get a full-time job. It’s only a matter of months.”

“What about college?”

“Right, like I’ll be able to afford it.”

She seems uncomfortable for a minute, and Justin has to wonder if that’s ever happened before. Debbie doesn’t do shy or embarrassed.

“So how are you going to that fancy school of yours then?”

Oh that .

“My parents are paying for it. The full year has already been paid for. If my Dad asks for his money back he’ll have to explain why his son isn’t going to Saint James anymore to his country club buddies. He really doesn’t want to have to tell them that he kicked his queer son out of the house.”

“Son of a bitch! What about your mom?”

Justin wishes he could hear this word without tearing up, but it’s hard enough on a good day and today, well definitely is not a good day.

“She tried, at first. But then she said they had to think of the whole family, my sister, that my choices had consequences on everyone and it was probably best I didn’t impose anymore.”

Justin’s voice cracks, and soon he’s sobbing against Debbie’s chest. She’s holding him tight and it feels so f*cking good. He holds onto her, not ready to end the embrace just yet.

“You’re coming home with me and Vic” she says softly in his ear “and I won’t f*cking take no for an answer.”

He can only nod, too emotional still to talk.

“Where is your stuff?”

Justin gets up and removes a duffle bag from behind a broken oven that’s been here forever. Debbie looks at him questioningly.

“I used to leave it in my locker, but it was too risky. Since I began working here, I’ve put it here.”

She shakes her head, like she’s mad but at herself. He wants to reassure her.

“Debbie, it’s not your fault. I didn’t want anyone to know, so you didn’t know.”

“What about Brian?”

“What about him?”

“Does he know?”

“Of course he doesn’t, and you won’t tell him.” She looks at him outrage impending. “Deb, you have to swear you won’t tell anyone about this. Promise me or I’m not going.”

“OK, OK, I won’t. But Vic will know, and Michael might not be the brightest, but he’ll figure it out when he comes home and you’re sleeping in his old room.”

“Vic is fine, and Michael, well I guess we’ll see about him when the time comes.”

They both leave the diner lost in thought. The whole way to Debbie’s house, Justin is immersed in motherly hugs, warm beds and hot showers. A small smile graces his lips when they reach their destination.

#

“Come on Sunshine, rise and shine.”

“Ah-f*cking-ah, leave me alone.”

Brian removes all the covers in one swift motion, leaving Justin curled naked on the bed.

“What the f*ck?”

“Look, I’m not your mother, and I sure as hell don’t plan on being your Daddy so get up and get your ass to school right the f*ck now.”

Justin scowls but gets up anyway, making his way to the shower.

“Sure, Mom.”

Christ , teenagers are such a pain in the ass. Will Gus be like that in fifteen years? Thank God, the munchers will do all the hard work because he will certainly not tolerate this crap.

Halfway to the shower, Justin turns around.

“Are you at least going to f*ck me in the shower?”

And that right there is why Brian puts up with the brat.

After they’re both showered, and their morning urges are satisfied, they get dressed in comfortable silence. Justin then gathers his stuff into his school bag, and rushes to the kitchen to grab whatever can constitute breakfast before catching his bus. He’s at the door when Brian spots a forgotten folder on the couch. He grabs it and calls Justin.

“Hey, you forgot this.”

Justin turns around and his eyes go wide. He blushes and runs to take it from Brian’s hands.

“Don’t open it!”

“Jeez, I wasn’t planning to. Although now you got me all curious. What’s in there, Sunshine? Your p*rn collection? Your diary?”

Justin averts his eyes and blushes harder.

“Nothing, just school stuff.”

Brian really is curious now, what could be in there that Justin doesn’t want him to see? After weeks of sleeping together there's nothing much they haven’t seen of each other, so this must be good.

He raises the folder above his head so that Justin cannot catch it. After struggling for a few minutes, Justin gives up.

“OK, you can look but you can’t mock me.”

“I can hardly promise that when I don’t know what it is.”

Justin's defeated expression makes Brian soften for a second.

“OK, OK I promise I won’t laugh but I reserve the right to mock a little.”

“I guess that’s the best deal I’ll get…”

Brian settles in the couch, all thoughts of school and work pushed aside. He makes a show of opening the folder extra slowly just to mess with Justin more. The kid looks so nervous, Brian really wonders what he’ll find inside the folder.

Brian obviously didn’t expect to end up face to face with a drawing of himself, naked from the waist up, sleeping. f*ck, did Justin draw this? He goes through the rest of the folder and finds more drawings of himself, some completely naked, some focused on his face. There is one of a young girl, bright smile familiar, Molly probably. Brian remains silent, examining the sketches, impressed with Justin’s talent. They really need to start talking a little more in between f*cks, because it seems there’s a lot about Justin that Brian doesn’t have a clue of.

“Did you draw these?”

“Yes. Are you mad?”

“Mad?”

“Yeah that I used you as a model, I didn’t exactly ask for permission.”

“I guess you didn’t.”

“So, what do you think?”

“I look hot.” They’re really good is what Brian thinks but doesn’t say.

Justin laughs nervously.

“Well, obviously, you ARE hot. But do you think they’re any good?”

“I’m no art critic. You should show them to Lindsay though, she’ll probably have an insightful opinion.”

Let her tell him how good he is, good plan.

“Oh OK, maybe I will.” The kid wears his disappointment on his face, and for a second Brian feels bad about it.

“Next time, I’ll pose for you, it’ll be hot.”

The sunshine smile is back, so is the weird warm feeling in his chest. Damn, not again. Brian ushers him out of the loft though, before Justin really is late for school. When the kid’s gone, Brian looks at the drawings again. Should he be worried about Justin’s affection, for lack of a better word? Apparently, the kid spends a lot of his free time drawing Brian in various states of undress, and as beautiful as the sketches are, the older man doesn’t know what to think of that. He’s prided himself in the fact that Justin fits into his lifestyle since they began f*cking, he really hopes Justin’s not going to f*ck it all up with unnecessary emotions. Although to be honest, Brian is kind of turned on by the idea of Justin, alone in his room, sketching Brian’s naked form, perhaps reliving their latest encounter, co*ck hardening. Some would say he’s vain for thinking like this, but he’s been called worse, he’s not above appreciating being adored by a young piece of hot ass.

#

When Michael enters the diner that day, Justin knows the gig is up. Brian’s best friend is on a mission, eyes throwing daggers at him all the way to the counter.

“Hello Michael, what can I get you?”

“Nothing, I’m here to talk to you.” Apparently, Michael doesn’t care much for etiquette, preferring to get to the heart of the matter straight away.

“Go sit in a booth, I’ll be there in a sec.”

Justin knew this was coming. It has been barely a week since he moved in with Deb and Vic, and Michael had seen him there twice. Who knew the 30 something year old was spending this much time at his mother’s house! Especially since he also sees her here at the diner at least once a day …

Anyway, Justin would rather get it over with, so he warns Kiki that he’s taking five and like a condemned prisoner, joins Michael at his table. Once there, he sits and waits. Michael is obviously upset and Justin’s not about to make it easy for him. After a few minutes though, Justin’s impatient nature takes over.

“Did you want something Michael? Because I can think of better ways to spend my break.”

Michael snaps out of whatever state he was in and finally speaks.

“I want you to leave them alone.” Huh .

“Them who?”

“You know who, my mom and Brian!”

“Why would I do that? They are certainly old enough to tell me if they don’t want me around anymore. Aren’t you?”

“Am I what?”

“Old enough, to tell me that YOU are the one that wants me gone.”

Michael apparently didn’t expect Justin to push back and he’s suddenly flustered.

“What? No! Look Justin, you’re a nice kid, I’m just trying to look out for you and my mom. She has a big heart and I don’t want her to be used in your plot to insert yourself in Brian’s life.”

So much to unpack here, Justin doesn’t know where to start.

“First of all, I’m not using your mother. She found out I was in trouble, so she offered me a place to stay. I insisted on paying rent, she refused. I help around the house, I work here, I don’t see how anyone is being taken advantage of.”

“As for Brian” Justin pursues, “what goes on between us certainly is not any of your business.”

“He’s my best friend, of course it’s my business!” Oh. My. f*cking. God . If Michael tells him this one more time, Justin is going to hurl, or hit him, or both.

“How could I forget…”

“Look Michael, I’m not sure what your issue with me is, but as his best friend, you should be well aware that Brian does exactly what he wants. If he didn’t want me to be there, I wouldn’t be. So how about you butt out?”

“That’s just it Justin, I know Brian better than anyone. He’s not getting rid of you out of pity, like a poor lost puppy nobody wants following him around. He acts like this selfish bastard but he’s not. He feels obligated because he popped your cherry and now your parents don’t want you.”

That one actually hurts. Justin doesn’t even take the time to correct Michael on the chronology, too pissed off to care. But Michael is on a roll, and not near finished yet.

“He’s never going to be your boyfriend or whatever. You think if you stay around long enough, he’s going to change but that’s not happening. Brian’s not like that and won’t ever be. So, save yourself and us the trouble and move on. Stop trying to make friends with his friends, go back to your family, say you’re sorry and go live your country club life.”

Justin feels like he’s been punched in the gut. He wants to tell Michael he’s wrong, that Brian cares about him, but can he really say that? Did Brian ever said anything other than he liked f*cking him? ‘Say sorry and go back to his family’, like it could be so simple. Michael doesn’t know how good he has it. Sure, he doesn’t have a father, but which is better, not having one, or the one you have telling you to your face that he wishes you were never born? Justin remembers clear as day, the look in his father’s eyes when he literally threw him out of the house, spat on him and told him that he was now dead to him.

“f*ck you Michael.”

Justin gets up and goes back to work, jaw tight and eyes watery. From the corner of his eyes, he can see Michael still seated at the booth. He looks like maybe he knows he went too far. Well, good for him.

#

Brian is deep in thoughts when someone bangs at his door. It was one of these days when everything went wrong at work. With how often his phone rang and his office was visited, he couldn’t align two thoughts. Thus, he had decided to just ditch and work in the comfort of his own home. Of course, it appears that even that is impossible.

The pounding continues on the door, and Brian yells.

“I’m coming for f*ck’s sake.”

Brian finally reaches the heavy door and opens it.

“Hi Mikey. This is such a nice surprise.” His voice is dripping with sarcasm, but Michael still perks up at the words.

“What were you doing? I’ve been knocking for ages.”

“I was working, you know what us grown-ups do.”

“Funny. I wanted to talk to you, about Justin.”

This snaps Brian out of his funk.

“What about him?” ‘Is he OK?’ is what he wants to ask but he refrains. Michael will surely tell him everything he needs to know and more.

“He’s living at Ma’s.”

“What are you talking about? He’s living with his parents.”

“No, he’s not, he lied to you, to all of us! They kicked him out or something and Ma said he was sleeping at his school, so now she brought him home like a f*cking stray.”

What the f*ck? Why didn’t Debbie tell him? After she busted his balls about Justin last time, she could have told him she had taken him in. Not that Brian was worried or anything but still. And why didn’t Justin say anything? The kid was homeless and still he insisted on leaving in the middle of night. Christ, what is wrong with this boy?

“What’s the matter Mikey? Don’t want a baby brother?”

“Christ Brian, is everything a joke to you? I’m warning you against him. He’s a liar and a fraud, and he’s using you.”

“How is he using me exactly? Because from where I stand, he didn’t ask me for a thing. Well except for my co*ck up his ass, but who can blame him really?”

Michael scoffs indignantly, and that’s what does it for Brian. This conversation needs to end now.

“Listen to me Mikey, are you listening?”

“Yes, I am listening.”

“Justin and I, we’re not in a relationship or whatever lesbianic crap, we f*ck, occasionally. What he does with his life really is not my problem and it’s not yours either. If Deb wants to save him or some sh*t, let her, she’ll be off your case. As for me, I’m a big boy, I don’t need you protecting me.”

“I’m your best friend, I’m just looking out for you.”

“I love you too Mikey, now get out of here so that I can do my job and be brilliant.”

“Yeah, OK. Just…” What now?

“Nothing, it’s not important. I’ll see you later? Woody’s?”

“Sure.” Brian placates him.

Michael finally leaves, and Brian wishes he could just go back to searching for the perfect slogan for the damn resort is trying to sell, but he finds himself distracted. How did he not know that Justin wasn’t really living with his parents? Come to think of it, did the kid ever really say he did? Brian racks his brain but all he comes up with are vague allusions, like ‘I need to go’, ‘you know how it is’, ‘people will worry’. The little sh*t! He never really said where he was living. So, what, the whole time he was sleeping outside on a cardboard box?

f*cking twat! Does he not have any self-preservation instincts? Brian imagines him shivering in the cold out on the streets, at the mercy of all the freaks out there. Although, Michael did mention something about sleeping at school, right? So the kid is smart at least. Still, anything could have happened. Like he said, it’s not like Brian is responsible for Justin’s safety, he just bets his ass Debbie would have had his balls, had anything happened to the kid. That’s the only reason for his delayed concern, obviously.

Did Michael say why his parents kicked him out? That’s pretty cold, even Jack and Joan offered a roof over Brian’s head until he left for college. Is it really because they found out about him? Was the kid stupid enough to tell them himself? So many questions, and only Justin to answer them. Except, he won’t, because Brian won’t ask a damn thing. First, he’s not supposed to know about it, and if there’s some emotional crap he understands it’s pride. Second, why should he even ask? Justin is now safely moved in with Deb and Vic, end of story. Like he said, Justin and he are f*cking occasionally - okay most days at the moment - but it doesn’t mean anything. Plus, if Brian were to talk to him about it, Justin would probably turn into a lesbian and discuss his feelings and stuff, no thank you .

#

Justin is so horny he could explode right this second. He danced with Brian for a while, their usual grinding and bumping leaving him achingly hard. Now though, Brian is off somewhere with someone and Justin is left wandering around the club. Truth be told, when Justin had arrived, Brian already had had his eyes on some hot guy. Justin had pulled the older man onto the dance floor in the vain hope to delay the inevitable. But Brian is like a dog with a bone when it comes to a sweet ass.

Justin pounders what to do. He could just leave and go home, but f*ck, he’s hard as a rock and he wants to get off. He decides to dance a little bit more, to release the tension. Soon a pair of strong arms wrap around his middle, Justin turns around and comes face to face with a hot brunet. He’s taller than him but somehow less impressive than Brian – although who is – he seems to have a nice body and most importantly he totally wants in Justin’s pants. He’s rubbing against him and Justin is quite surprised to find that he likes it very much. He’s had a few tricks since he’s been sexually active, but they only shared hand or blow j*bs. He liked it all right, but Brian was never far away from his mind. He would always think, Brian would do this this way, or Brian’s body would feel different. He got off, of course, he’s a seventeen-year-old gay boy, that’s not a problem for him, but he found the experiences to be lacking somehow. So, he decided, next time, he would try topping. Turns out, next time is tonight and the hot man grinding into him will absolutely do the trick.

Channeling his inner Brian, Justin leans into the guy and whispers a few chosen words in his ear. The guy smiles broadly and indicates the backroom. Justin leads him by the crotch, crowd separating in their wake. Justin thought he’d be more nervous but perhaps due to the familiarity of it all, he feels powerful and hot. Is that how Brian feels all the time? Damn, must be quite the high.

Once they’re settled against the wall, the trick starts kissing Justin’s mouth, then his neck. Justin not so subtly pushes on his shoulders and the trick is now on his knees, unzipping Justin’s pants. He’s giving an okay blow j*b, Justin doesn’t really care, this is not the main event after all. He grasps the guy’s arm and pulls him back up. Not a second later, he’s pushed against the wall and Justin’s pushing his jeans down. Justin lubes up his fingers and goes to prep the other man. He’s already loose though, be it from an earlier f*ck or because he prepped himself for the night. Even better. It’s showtime. Justin takes hold of his co*ck and places it between the guy’s cheeks. In a gentle yet efficient move, Justin enters him and f*ck , this is so amazing, so tight and warm. He needs to calm down otherwise he’s going to embarrass himself, here, amongst half of gay Pittsburgh.

Somewhere in the back of his mind Justin senses that he’s being watched. Yes, that’s a stupid thought given where he is, but this is different. He looks around – still pounding into the man in front of him – and finally finds where the sensation is coming from. Brian is leaning against a pillar on his right side. Apparently, he’s finished with his own trick, he’s just looking at Justin intently. They lock eyes and Justin can see the lust in the hazel ones. Starting from there, Justin’s not f*cking the guy in front of him anymore, he’s f*cking Brian. He thrusts with renewed passion, one hand gripping the other man's hip, the other pressed up against the wall next to his head. The trick is moaning his approval of the new rhythm, hand now jerking himself off. The whole thing is twisted but so hot, suddenly, Justin notices Brian’s hand down his leather pants. f*ck, he’s stroking himself to the sight of Justin f*cking another guy, and this is so damn hot. Justin’s org*sm is building fast now. Eyes still on Brian, he speeds up, making sure to graze against the trick’s sweet spot. So very soon, the guy is coming against the wall, ass clenching on Justin’s dick. Finally, the blond lets himself come, eyes closing for a second. Behind his eyelids, Brian’s the one convulsing underneath him. He has to bite his lips not to moan his name.

As usual, the afterglow in the backroom is brief, there’s condoms to be thrown out, pants to be zipped up and no f*cks to be given. Justin promptly exits the premises, deliberately not looking if Brian is following him or not. He doesn’t have to wait long to find out, one step outside the backroom and the man in question grabs him by the wrist and crashes his mouth on Justin’s for a wild kiss.

“I need to be inside of you, now.”

No sweeter words have ever been spoken. Time blurs and next thing he knows, Justin is being f*cked into the mattress at the loft. Brian is always intense in bed, but tonight he’s like a wild animal, mauling him, devouring him. Justin barely has time to catch his breath, he’s afraid he’s going to hyperventilate before it’s over. He comes over and over, body arched inhumanly. Soon after, Brian is coming too, groaning and biting Justin’s shoulder. He’s pretty sure he’ll have a bruise in the morning. He shudders at the thought of Brian marking him like that.

“What’s gotten into you?” Justin says when he finally catches his breath.

“Are you complaining?”

“God no! Quite the opposite.”

“You were hot tonight.”

“Unlike all the other nights?”

“Shut up twat.”

Brian is silent again, and Justin thinks he’s never going to explain himself further. After a few minutes, Brian speaks again.

“In the backroom, with that guy. You were f*cking hot.”

So that’s what it’s about. Justin must admit he found the whole thing pretty hot too. He found that he liked topping, he’d like to do it again. And then there’s that feeling of Brian watching him, he definitely liked that. He doesn’t want to risk ruining the moment, so he just kisses Brian, tongue thrusting in his mouth, making him tingle all over. He’s definitely not prepared for what comes out of Brian’s mouth when they break the kiss.

“Michael came to see me today.”

“Ok-ay.”

“He had something interesting to tell me.”

That’s when it registers. Of course, f*cking Michael told him. Christ, is he for real? How long did he wait between their conversation and the one with Brian? He probably just ran from the diner to the loft to bitch to Brian about him.

“Let me guess, he warned you against the manipulative conniving twink and advised you to hide the silverware and get a restraining order.”

“Something like that.”

An awkward silence follows. Justin’s not sure what Brian thinks. Is he mad that Justin didn’t tell him? Seems unlikely given the number of times he’s told him that they are nothing to each other but f*ck buddies. Does he agree with Michael? Does Brian think he’s using all of them? Justin’s not sure he wants to wait until Brian decides whether to yell at him or kick him out, so he gets up and cleans himself. After that he starts putting his clothes back on, preparing himself to go back to Deb’s for the night.

“Are you not going to tell me what happened?”

Not what Justin expected at all, is that some kind of trap?

“I would have thought Michael gave you the play by play.”

“I tuned him out when he started ranting, he said something about your parents kicking you out because of me.”

“f*cking prick. He can’t even tell the story straight. It has nothing to do with you, my dad threw me out long before I met you, so you’re off the hook, okay?”

“Sunshine, when have you ever seen me feeling ‘on’ the hook?”

Justin smiles and shrugs. This whole conversation is weird.

“Why don’t you tell me the basic facts then?”

“It’s nothing original really, Mom found out I was gay, told Dad. He confronted me about my disgusting urges, demanding that I turn back into the good little straight son. I refused. He kicked me out. Debbie found out a few days ago, I’ve been staying at her house since.”

Justin is extra careful to relay the events without emotion, just stating facts. Brian wouldn’t tolerate anything else.

“And before she found out? Where did you sleep?”

“Here and there.”

“Justin.”

“Sometimes at Daphne’s, but her parents didn’t like it too much, so I stayed at school, under the bleachers.”

“You could have told me.”

“Why? So, you could invite me to move in? Look Brian, I was handling things fine, I just had a bad night when Deb found me and after I told her she wouldn’t let me go. It’s no big deal.”

“OK.”

“It’s true. I’m not some helpless fa*ggot, I was doing just fine.”

“Never thought you were. Actually, I think you’re f*cking brave. Standing up to your parents like that.”

Justin smiles a true smile then. It didn’t go like he thought it would at all, maybe Brian did care like Justin thought he did. Michael knows nothing about these moments, all he sees is how young Justin is, and how Brian is the stud of Babylon. Justin however, is the one to live these brief moments, the ones that give him hope that despite all his talk about them being nothing, they have a deeper connection than just sex.

“Now, can you get your ass back to bed? I’m not done with you yet.”

Yes, sir .

Chapter 8: Part 8

Chapter Text

Justin is positively trashed. There is no other explanation for how he’s clinging to Brian on the dance floor of Babylon. Brian would complain but honestly, having his arms full of hot blond, his hands full of tight ass and a tongue licking his neck is so not something he can complain about. Come to think of it, it is pretty funny how Justin can be both horny as hell and as innocent as his 18 years.

They have already f*cked in the backroom, and Justin sucked him off in a stall in the toilets as well, and still the kid is hard as a rock. What the hell did he take, Viagra?

“Hey Sunshine.”

“Mmmf?”

“Look at me.” A pair of blue-eyes looks at him, pupils so dilated, he can barely see their color anymore.

“What are you on?”

“Why? Are you going to give me the ‘drugs are bad’ speech?” While he’s talking or more like slurring, Justin is stroking Brian’s co*ck through his jeans. Christ, the brunet's not sure he can keep up.

“No, I just want to make a note on how to get you in this state. You’re f*cking hot.”

“You so want to f*ck me again. I’m onto you Brian Kinney. You can’t get enough of me.”

Brian chooses not to answer that. Justin is flying really high right now, he doesn’t know what he’s saying. No need to address how Brian doesn’t need anybody ever, especially a blond 18-year-old schoolboy. Although, there is some truth to what Justin said, it looks like Brian can’t get enough of him. How else would Brian explain that he’s been f*cking Justin for months now? That he broke almost every rule he's ever had for this kid? Brian shakes his head, this is not the time to turn into a f*cking lesbian. He has a tight ass to f*ck, right the hell now.

Later, at the loft, Justin is still pretty wasted. On the dance floor, they shared another tab of E, and Brian’s pretty sure he saw Emmett giving him a few bumps at the bar. He obviously isn’t the best person around to warn Justin about abusing drugs, so instead of trying to get him to slow down, Brian used the one argument that he knew would work. He had grabbed Justin by the waistband of his tight – tight – jeans and dragged him to the jeep, then to the loft arguing that he needed the young man naked on all fours and the new dild* he just purchased. Of course, Justin didn’t need to be asked twice and Brian had to fight off the kid’s attempts at sucking him off during the ride there.

Now, at home, Justin is still dancing around the living room to a beat that exists only in his head. His hair is all wet from sweating in the club, he still has glitter all over his chest – somehow, he lost his shirt during one of their trip to the backroom, never to put it on again – and f*ck, he’s just beautiful. Brian thinks he must be pretty f*cked up as well to think something like that. Time to get on with it.

“Hey go-go boy, how about a private show?”

Justin hops on the coffee table and starts taking off his pants.

“Yeah, how much are you willing to pay?”

“How about if I like it, I’ll reward you with my big co*ck up your ass?”

Justin pretends to be thinking about it. Then, he kicks off his shoes and pants as elegantly as he’s capable of at the moment and starts suggestively moving his body. His hands are caressing his chest, tweaking his nipples and Brian is hard as hell. The older man is sprawled out on the sofa, shirt hanging open on his sides, jeans so painfully tight around his co*ck. He’s stroking himself lazily, totally enraptured in the show before him.

Justin is now dancing naked, ass right in Brian’s face and he cannot resist, he slaps him hard and grabs the blond by the waist to sit him on his lap, facing away from him. Justin is wiggling his naked ass deliciously while Brian sucks on his neck. They’re both panting after a few minutes. Brian’s trying to get rid of his clothes when Justin stops him with a hand on his thigh.

“Don’t. Take me like this, all dressed.”

“Someone’s feeling kinky.”

“Just f*ck me, please.”

Brian doesn’t need to be asked twice. In what seems to be only seconds, his dick is covered in latex and lube and Justin is hovering above it, ready to go. The feeling of Justin taking him inch by inch is the best kind of torture. Before he’s all the way in, Brian loses his patience and thrusts his hips up until his balls are against Justin’s thighs. He pauses for a brief moment, just enjoying the heat surrounding him even through the condom. Justin’s clenching his muscles around him, so Brian slaps him again.

“Be a good boy, your show is over, now it’s my turn.”

Justin whimpers and Brian feels it in his spine. He starts to push up into Justin’s ass, arms encircling his torso, mouth at his neck. High as he is, Justin seems to be in a whole other dimension. Brian knows how it is, how every touch is lighting a fire, every bite sending thrills, he wants to make it last for the kid, but he’s too far gone himself. He goes to take Justin’s co*ck in his hand and realizes that the boy is already jerking himself off. No f*cking way .

“What did I say? Hands off.”

“Please Bri, touch me.”

Brian complies, quickly setting a fast rhythm on both Justin’s ass and co*ck. Brian comes first, buried deep in the hot tightness. He comes to his senses shortly after, breathing hard.

“Brian…”

The breathy plea finishes bringing him back from his org*sm induced haze.

“What?”

“Please, I need to come.”

Brian realizes then that Justin is still hard and throbbing in his hand. Sometimes during his climax, the brunet must have stopped moving it. For a second, he feels guilty for leaving the blond in such a predicament. He recovers quickly though and decides to make the most of it.

“Stand up.”

“Brian, come on, don’t be mean.”

“Stand. Up.”

Justin obeys, although he doesn’t look too happy about it. Brian’s pretty sure he’ll perk up in the next minute. He places the kid in front of him, hard leaking co*ck in front of Brian's face.

“You’ve been such a good boy” he whispers close, Justin moans at the feeling of his breath all over him.

“Yes.”

“Here is your reward. f*ck my mouth.”

Justin’s shell shocked for a second, then suddenly he’s moving his hips toward Brian’s mouth, letting his dick glide across the older man’s lips.

“Open up then.”

Brian does, and he’s rewarded with the feel of a hard co*ck on his tongue. Justin takes hold of his hair and goes for it. If Brian thought Justin would be shy and careful, he was dead wrong. The blond has a tight grip on his head and his hips are thrusting into Brian’s mouth with abandon. He has the perfect rhythm, allowing Brian to keep breathing without ever choking – one of them does happen to have a gag reflex, thank you very much – and the brunet feels himself harden again being abused like this.

It doesn’t last long, given how Justin has been worked up, and a few thrusts later Brian is rewarded with the sweet taste of Justin’s release down his throat.

They both collapse on the sofa, sweaty and sated. Justin lets out a loud laugh, obviously still not down from all the drugs he took tonight. He’s in for a massive hangover in the morning, Brian is already mentally preparing all the ways he can torture him.

After a brief clean-up, they somehow end up in bed, making out without any real purpose. Justin pulls back and just looks at Brian pensively.

“What?”

“Nothing, just, are we like together?”

OK, apparently the drugs are still acting in Justin’s system because Brian is quite sure he would never have the guts to address their non-relationship sober.

“Like together in this bed? f*ck Justin what the hell did you take?” He plays dumb, of course he does. If there’s any chance to avoid the awkward conversation that’s looming at the horizon, Brian’s going to f*cking take it.

“No, like a couple together.” f*ck .

“No.”

“No?”

“No.”

“So, what are we?”

“Why should we be anything? We’re two fa*gs f*cking.”

Justin keeps quiet for a moment and foolishly Brian thinks this is the end of it.

“Like lovers?” Oh, for f*ck’s sake. Brian is this close to offering his ass to the kid just to make him shut up.

“Look Justin, I thought I made this clear already. I’m not your boyfriend, your lover, your partner or anything. We’re not together or in a relationship. Just saying the words, makes me want to puke. We f*ck because we want to. And when we’ll stop wanting it, then we’ll stop doing it.”

He knows he’s unnecessarily harsh on the kid, but f*ck, things need to be crystal clear. Brian doesn’t do love or sh*t like this, Justin needs to understand that now. If he wants to bail, then so be it. Although, Brian feels a certain heaviness in his stomach when thinking about the idea of not f*cking Justin anymore, after all the time and effort he spent to groom the boy to his needs, or at least that’s the reason he’s using. Truth is – and he’ll deny it if it comes to this – he likes Justin. The kid is hot, bright, funny, easy-going - well except right now - great in bed. What’s not to like? Brian’s no one’s boyfriend that’s for sure, but he’s honest enough to admit – only to himself, sometimes, when he’s high or drunk – that Justin is more than just a trick. What he is though remains unclear, and best to nip any ideas Justin might have in the bud.

“You forgot the part about f*cking whoever you want.” Justin supplies, seemingly unaffected by Brian’s little speech. Brian smiles, maybe once again he underestimated Justin.

“Yes, that too.”

Just when Brian thinks they can get back to sucking and f*cking, Justin’s getting out of bed. He retrieves his clothes and starts dressing.

“I’m going home.”

“Justin, you’re still high, stay.”

“Careful, you might sound like a concerned boyfriend.”

Then again, maybe not.

#

Justin wakes up to the sensation of elephants pounding in his skull. What the hell happened last night? He checks the time on his phone and notices that he has several messages from Brian. f*ck. He vaguely remembers going to the loft after Babylon, he danced – alone? – they f*cked, the details are fuzzy, but he thinks on the sofa, and Brian’s mouth. Christ, he definitely remembers coming in Brian’s mouth. After that, he’s not too sure. He thinks they talked, not really sure what about.

He goes to take a shower, hoping it will clear his mind a little. Under the slightly cold spray, he suddenly remembers.

“f*ck!”

He knows what they talked about, he questioned Brian on their relationship status. f*cking idiot. That’s what happens when he’s tweaked out. It’s all coming back now, all the questions, and Brian’s speech. How it hurt to hear it, even though Justin knew it by heart. Most of all, he remembers how pissed he was at himself for thinking that maybe, after all these months, they could move beyond ‘f*ck buddies’ status. Brian probably regrets the whole thing now, Justin can’t believe he blew up months of playing it cool in 2 minutes. And for what? Did he really expect Brian to declare them boyfriends? Brian probably erased his number already and has warned the whole gang that Justin was out. OK, Brian probably wouldn’t do that, but he’s entitled to a little freak out.

Once out of the shower, he reaches for his phone again, ready to do some damage control. Justin then realizes that he still has to read Brian’s messages.

‘Text or call when you’re home.’ Brian doesn’t care too much for literature in text messages. At least it means that he’s still speaking to Justin.

‘Justin, are you there yet?’ Oh, use of his name, Brian’s getting pissed.

‘Sunshine, Vic said you’re passed out in your bed. Call me when you wake up, good luck with the hangover from hell.’

So, what, he called Vic to make sure he was OK? Could it be that Brian was actually worried about him? What was it that he said before he stormed out last night, ‘concerned boyfriend’? Justin can’t help the big smile on his face, hangover long forgotten, only one thought filling his mind. Brian Kinney gives a sh*t.

#

“Brian?”

What the hell? The door to the loft is open, which just never happens. What is this mess? It looks like a bomb went off in the living room. Is that food on the floor? What the actual f*ck is going on?

“Brian?!”

“Yes, in here, no need to yell.”

Brian’s voice is very tense, and Justin’s level of worry raises up a notch. Apparently, the voice is coming from the bathroom, so that’s where he goes, apprehensively, not sure of what he will encounter. What’s certain is that he was not prepared for the sight in front of him. Brian is holding Gus, his arms stretched out in front of him, so that the baby, covered in some green goo, doesn’t touch his Armani clad body. Except, it’s obviously too late. Brian looks helpless and this is something Justin never thought he would see.

The teen stops at the doorway and smiles broadly.

“What’s up?”

“Shut up, either leave or help, but just don’t stand there.”

Justin laughs, but still moves to help. He goes to Gus, kissing him on the cheek briefly, before undressing him carefully. Once the baby is naked and goo-less, he takes him from Brian, holding him close to his chest. Free of the sticky child, Brian goes to undress as well.

“Huh Brian? What are you doing?”

“What do you think Sunshine? I’m taking a shower. Gus’s been here since 7am, I’ve been puked on, thrown food at and other things I’d rather not mention. Are you getting shy on me?” Of course, Brian would recover in less time than it takes to say ‘blow j*b’.

“Well, Gus and I will be in the bedroom getting dressed, right sweetie?”

Justin never has been a baby person. Take his sister for instance, he tolerated her when she was really little, because yeah, she was kind of cute. Then she became this really annoying tiny person, following him around, copying his every move and telling on him to his parents every chance she got. It’s weird how now that he can’t see her, he actually misses her.

Gus though, Justin’s been smitten with since the first time he saw him at Debbie’s for Sunday night dinner. Turns out, it was mutual, because Gus took to him really quickly too. Since then, he has spent time with Brian’s son regularly, either at Debbie’s or at Lindsay and Mel’s house. He even babysat a few nights here and there. Justin makes the startling realization though, that this is the first time he sees the kid with only Brian present. He’s seen father and son together before of course, and man was that something, but never like this. He hopes Brian will be willing to let him stick around.

Brian reappears from the bathroom, right when Gus is finally dressed properly. Some might believe that this is no coincidence.

“So, mind telling me what happened?”

“The munchers had to go visit some aunt of Mel's or whatever that broke her hip. Debbie’s working all day and they couldn’t find another babysitter so as a last resort, Lindsay dropped him off this morning. They’ll be back to get him tomorrow morning. I had things under control until lunch time, when Sonny Boy here got creative with his food. Must be your bad influence.”

“So, what are your plans for the afternoon?”

“Plans? Do I look like I have a plan Sunshine?”

Is that a cry for help? Does Brian want him to stay and help? Should he offer?

“Well, well, Brian Kinney, not having control of a situation, not something you see every day.”

Brian gives him the finger and Justin laughs again. He’s going to enjoy this so much. Brian’s impatience flares up though.

“Are you going to mock me all day or are you going to actually help?”

Justin pretends to think about it for a second. When he sees the desperation in Brian’s eyes, he softly answers.

“I’ll stay and help, and mock a little.” Brian glares at him. “OK, OK, I’ll just stay and help. Look it’s time for his nap anyway so let me get him to bed, meanwhile you can go clean up the mess in your living room.”

Brian is giving him an odd look after this. Justin’s not too sure how to read it. He’s about to ask when Brian comes closer, leans in and kisses him softly on the lips.

“Thanks.” He then leaves Justin and Gus next to the bed.

Justin feels 10 feet tall. Brian must trust him a lot to let him handle his son like this. Yes, the older man will tell anyone that asks that Gus is really Melanie and Lindsay’s son, that he’s merely a sperm donor, a cameo dad, writing checks. But Justin knows that Brian loves his son deeply and that he wants to do right by him. He’s framed the sketch Justin made of the two of them a few weeks back. Gus had fallen asleep on Brian’s chest, and he had his hand cradling the baby’s head so tenderly. Justin had been unable to resist the intensity of the moment.

Justin reads Gus a story and sings about 10 songs, but the baby is restless. On a whim, and because he really wants to show Brian how valuable he can be, he hugs Gus close to his chest and lies back against the headboard. He caresses his thin soft baby hair and hums real low. Thankfully it does the trick, and soon Gus’s breathing has deepened, and his little fists have loosened on Justin’s shirt.

“What’s taking you so long?”

“Shhhhhhh, he just fell asleep, I’m afraid to move.”

Brian stands at the bottom of the stairs leading to the bed. He looks at Justin for a moment, the blond wonders if he crossed some kind of line. He’s reassured when Brian smiles, a small, dare he say shy, smile, one he’s pretty sure he’s never seen directed at him before. At this moment, realization hits him. He’s in love with Brian. f*ck. Justin knew this was coming, of course he knew. He just thought maybe, it would happen later on, when Brian at least acknowledges that they are in a relationship, messed up as it is. What is he supposed to do now? Tell him? Sure, if he wants to be told to f*ck off and never show his face again. He’ll just have to keep it under control. That’s it, just pretend nothing's changed and wait for Brian to get there, if he ever does.

“Can I lie down with you guys? I’ve been up since 6 and taking care of this kid is real hard work.”

“Of course.”

Soon enough, the three of them are fast asleep in the bed, Gus snuggled between Justin and Brian. Each of the adults has a hand on the baby’s back, as if to make sure he’s okay.

#

Brian wakes up disoriented. It’s been something like 15 years since he’s slept during the day without drugs or an orgy being involved. Slowly he remembers, Gus covered in pureed peas, Justin coming to the rescue, finding them curled up in his bed. And the warm feeling in his chest again, f*ck. He needs to get his sh*t together fast. Surely, the feeling came from seeing his son so at peace, not because Justin was the one holding him. Time to move on. Speaking of Gus and Justin, where the hell are they?

“Justin?”

“In here!”

Brian gets up and joins Justin in the living room. The blond is on his stomach on the floor, face-to-face with Gus trying to crawl. f*cking warmth.

“He woke up half-an-hour ago, I took him out here, so you could sleep some more. You seemed to need it old man.”

Brian leans in close to his ear.

“You’ll pay for that twat.”

“I sure hope so.” Do not get hard with your son there. Do not get hard.

“Hey Sonny Boy, come to Daddy.”

Three hours, a snack and several failed attempts at getting Gus to come to Daddy, Brian is a bundle of unspent energy. How do the munchers do this on a daily basis? He wants his loft back, his dick sucked and a big glass of Jim Beam. Hopefully, Gus will be asleep shortly and then he can at least get 2 of these things.

Except, Justin is now putting his jacket on. What the f*ck?

“What the f*ck do you think you’re doing?”

“Huh, going home?”

“Why?”

“I just figured with Gus going to bed for the night, you don’t really need me here.”

Brian strolls over to Justin and whispers in his ear.

“That’s where you’re wrong Sunshine. Sonny-Boy here is going to bed, but you’ll stay, and I’ll f*ck you into next week.”

Justin gulps and flushes but takes his jacket off anyways.

“OK Gus, time to bed!”

An hour later, Gus is sleeping soundly in Brian’s bed and the panels around the bedroom are closed. Justin insisted that they needed some kind of privacy before doing anything. Brian really did not see how f*cking around his sleeping 6 months old baby would be a problem, but anything that got him closer to getting laid was fine by him.

As soon as Justin comes back from checking on the kid, Brian leaps, carrying him over his shoulder and dropping him on the chaise. In an instant, he has his mouth around Justin’s co*ck and he feels himself relax. The kid is moaning above him, fist in his mouth, desperately trying to keep it down. The challenge is clear, Brian uses every trick he has to make Justin lose control. Despite his best efforts, Justin manages to muffle his cries until the moment he comes, loudly, unable to keep it in anymore.

Brian doesn’t even let him come down from his org*sm, before flipping them around. He’s now the one lying on his back on the chaise and Justin is straddling him. One condom and some lube appear from thin air and not a minute too soon, Justin lowers himself on Brian hard dick. The first few moves are a bit awkward, the chaise is the last place of the loft they f*ck on, so it requires some fine tuning. Once they find their rhythm though, Brian can’t even remember why he was tense in the first place. The sight above him is out of a wet dream. Justin is shiny with perspiration, eyes closed, and head thrown back. Miles of pale skin, lean muscles and those noises. God, Brian could get off on those sounds only he’s sure. It’s funny how even with Justin seemingly in his own pleasure filled world, they still manage to be connected. With his tricks, Brian is pretty directive. Some might say that it is because he has control issues – and that’s probably right – but it’s mainly because he just wants to get the most pleasure out of the experience. No time to fumble, to mess up, efficiency is key. So, Brian instructs, he orders because he knows what he likes, what he needs to get off. Be it a special connection or simply the results of their repeat f*cking, it’s not necessary with Justin. The boy knows how to interpret a groan, a jerk of the hip, a hand on the back, and just like that, the pleasure is maximized.

After they’ve both come and cleaned up, they end up curled up on the sofa naked, joint passing between them.

“So, how was your first day as a full-time dad?” Justin teases. With others, Brian might get defensive, but he knows Justin doesn’t mean anything by that. He’s told Brian enough times that he’s good with Gus.

“Exhausting. I don’t know how Lindsay does it every day. I might write her another check.”

“You did good, Gus loves you.”

Brian smiles, not sure how to respond to this. People loving him is a strange feeling. One that evokes so many opposing responses in him. Disbelief, fear, an urge to make them see that they shouldn’t, but also hope. This one is the worst of all.

Out of nowhere, he thinks about Justin’s parents. Maybe it’s because he spent the entire day being a dad, or because Justin seems too thoughtful for someone who just came twice and smoked the best weed in PA.

“Do your parents know where you are?”

“What?” OK, so apparently that was not at all what Justin was thinking about.

“Do they know where you live?”

“How the f*ck would they know?”

“Hey, don’t bite my head off, it was just a question.” Brian raises his hands in a gesture of surrender.

“They must worry is all.”

“Yeah sure. Look Brian, I’m not sure what you’re getting at, but I don’t want to talk about them. My mom knows I’m alive, I saw her when I went to see Molly the other day. And my dad, well he made it clear that he wouldn’t mind if I disappeared completely, so yeah, not worried.”

Brian goes to say something more but Justin interrupts.

“Are your parents worried? You never talk to them either, do you?”

Sneaky bastard. Although he does have a point. Why should Brian care what Justin’s parents feel or think? They made their choice when they kicked him out, just like his own parents made theirs. No need to dwell on the past.

Tongue-in-cheek, he concedes.

“Point taken Sunshine. Let’s go to bed.”

Once they are settled, in a position close to the one they had during their nap – Gus tucked in between them – Justin entwines his hand with Brian’s. The older man is not too comfortable with the show of affection, but figures Justin can have that after he’s helped him all day.

“Brian, I …” Justin doesn’t continue, apparently not sure he should.

“What?”

“I – I had a really nice day, with you and Gus.”

Brian is pretty sure that’s not what Justin was about to say, but he’s not one to push. He settles himself comfortably, hand still in Justin’s.

“Goodnight Sunshine.”

“Goodnight Brian.”

#

“I can't believe how big he is!”

“Don't tell me! 8 months old... This is so weird, I look at him and it's like it was only yesterday that he was born, and yet I can barely remember how it was when we didn't have him.”

“I can relate. I feel the same about Brian and all of you really, seems not so long ago that I was just a kid under a lamppost. God, I was such a mess back then. Now I have a home, a family and an art show. I can't thank you enough Linds.” And it’s true, Justin is so grateful. Never in a million years, when he was trying to sleep in the cold under the bleachers, would he have thought that’s where he would end up.

“I only showed them your work Justin, you got the show all on your own. If anything, you should thank Brian, he's the one that gave me your drawings.”

“Oh, believe me he's been thanked enough.”

“OK I so don't need to know that.” She laughs.

Lindsay falls silent after that, but Justin feels her looking at him intently like she's trying to read something on his face.

“Are you in love with him?” Oh, she's not f*cking around.

“Brian doesn't do love.”

“Debatable, but that's not what I asked.” Justin knows that, he just chose to deflect.

“Look, Lindsay, I know you're Brian's friend first, but I believe that we've become friends over the past few months, right?”

“Of course, we have.”

“Then, as my friend, please don't push this, on me or on Brian. I can't afford to get my hopes up, not about this. Do I want more than just being f*ck buddies? Of course, I do. I'd be a fool not to. You're probably the one that knows best what he hides behind his asshole facade. But I can't go there, so please don't tell me he cares or whatever, it's not helping me keep my emotions in check. And don't try and talk to him either, please. If I or any other person pushes him, he'll snap, and I'll lose whatever this is that we have now, and I don't want to lose him.”

“But he cares, Justin, he does. You're more to him than just a f*ck.”

“Did he tell you that?”

“Well, not in so many words but...”

“That's what I'm talking about! Do you know how hard it is for me to hear from left and right how Brian feels, except from him? You tell me he cares, and we have more, tomorrow, while Brian is getting his dick sucked in the backroom of Babylon, Michael will remind me that I'm just a trick who's refusing to leave. I know you're trying to help and I appreciate that, but I can't believe anything else than what Brian says. We're not boyfriends, we're barely friends, we f*ck.”

Lindsay looks at him in shock.

“Justin, you have to know that's not true. I've known Brian for a very long time, and yes, he's closed off and he pretends to be cold hearted but we both know that's not who he is. And I see how he is with you, he's never let anyone in as much as he does you.”

“Sometimes I believe that too Linds, those brief moments when I think maybe we do have something, but it has to be his decision, he has to be the one to decide, I won't force him into anything.”

“You're wise beyond your years Justin, Brian's lucky to have you.”

Justin smiles shyly. He's either the wisest or the biggest fool of Liberty Avenue. It's been 8 months since he met Brian, 8 amazing, life changing, stressful months. 2 months since he almost told him he loved him. He can’t believe how stupid he is sometimes. What was he thinking? That because they spent the day together, taking care of his son, that suddenly they were a couple? Thank god, Justin recovered before making a fool of himself.

That’s why he needs to keep it cool. He’ll just ease Brian into it. Throwing hints here and there that they share more than their bodies. Only then, when Brian is comfortable with the relationship thing, he’ll drop the L-word, without expectation of reciprocity of course. Brian may be an ad-man, using words to make a living but in his personal life he’s all about actions.

Step one in the ‘get Brian Kinney to admit he’s in a relationship’: having a semi-romantic home cooked meal without him bailing. Justin just needs to wait for the perfect opportunity.

#

“Brian, over here!” Like Brian would actually miss Michael at the bar at Woody’s at this hour.

He strolls over to his best friend, signaling to the bartender to get him a beer.

“What’s up Mikey?”

“Nothing much, had a crappy day at the Q, the usual. You?”

“Oh, you know the usual, wooed a couple clients, f*cked a couple more, same old same old.”

Michael shakes his head. Brian can read the judgment all over his face. He sighs and waits for what he’s sure is coming. A long boring lecture. Surprisingly, nothing comes.

“What? No lecture? No wise words on how I should be more careful?”

Michael mimes zipping his lips but ultimately talks again.

“So, where’s Justin?”

Ah! So, that’s where this is going. Brian should have probably expected it. Michael has been on his case about Justin since day 1. At first, he was siding with the kid, feeling sorry for his impending doom, but once Brian f*cked him, and f*cked him again and again and again, Michael took it out on the kid. Now, he seems to go back and forth between warning Brian against Justin and the other way around. It’s annoying, so Brian uses his ever-approved technique of thinking about his latest f*ck while Michael rants.

“How the f*ck should I know? At home, at the diner, out?”

“Can I ask you something? And you’ll answer seriously for once.”

“I can always try.” Brian placates him.

“What is it between you guys? Are you like together?”

f*ck, this again. What is Michael expecting? They’re not f*cking lesbians for God’s sake. How is it that amongst his friends, Brian’s the only one to remember what it is to be queer?

“Mikey, you know me, I don’t do relationships and all that crap. Justin and I are f*cking, not that it is really any of your business.”

“It is my business, you’re my best friend. I can see that you’re different, there’s something about him that’s different. You’ve been f*cking him for months, surely you must like him.”

“Like him? Christ Mikey, are we in high school again?”

“Do you love him?”

sh*t, he’s not holding back. Does Brian love Justin? Brian doesn’t do love, that’s his most basic rule. Before Justin, he had a lot of other rules, but somehow, he broke them all or almost. It just happened really. One day, the kid was laughing in his face under a lamppost, 2 days later Brian was f*cking him and then all of a sudden, they’re f*cking 10 times a week. He can’t even blame it all on Justin, because in all honesty the kid had not asked for anything. Brian has been the one coming back for more at first, after that it was just kind of agreed that they would keep on doing it. Now, 8 months later, what did that make them? ‘f*ck buddies’ would probably be the best denomination. They do f*ck an awful lot, and they are also kind of friends. They go out, they drink, they eat, they talk. Since he found out about Justin’s history with his parents, they even talk about actual meaningful things. And then there’s Gus. The kid loves Justin, and to be honest – for once – Brian enjoys spending time with them both. Justin does not make him feel silly or ridiculous for caring about his son. It’s refreshing having someone by his side that has no preconceived notion of him, freeing to be and do what Brian wants without it clashing with what others expect. But is this love? f*ck no.

“Brian?” Oh yes, Michael.

“Look Mikey, I’m not into this hetero bullsh*t and you know it. I keep f*cking Justin because I want to and I’m getting tired of having to justify it to everyone. So back off, and please don’t go putting these ideas into his head. He doesn’t need to be poisoned by your crazy talk of love and relationship.”

Michael bursts out laughing, actual tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Are you serious? You really believe he’s not already thinking about it? Christ, you’re either stupid or delusional.”

Truth is, Brian is neither of these things. He noticed the way Justin’s been looking at him since that day with Gus. He just chooses to ignore it. If anything, he takes every opportunity to remind Justin that they don’t have any kind of relationship. It’s preemptive really, considering that Justin didn’t ask for anything. That’s probably how they made it for so long. The kid is easy, comfortable even. First time anything is in his life and Brian’s going to keep enjoying it, no matter what Michael and the like think.

From the corner of his eye, Brian notices a tall dark-haired guy checking him out. This gives him the perfect way out of this conversation.

“Look Mikey, I’d love to continue this little sharing party, but there’s someone here that needs my attention.”

Chapter 9: Part 9

Chapter Text

Not two days later, Brian finds himself in the same spot for after work drinks with the guys. He’s nursing his first glass of Beam. He’s supposed to meet Justin later and he doesn’t want to be drunk for what he has planned. After their talk last time, Michael only pretended to back off, every chance he got though he would throw Brian not so subtle weighted looks. Brian hopes tonight is not another ambush otherwise he’s out of here.

Emmett and Theodore arrive first and sit down on each side of him.

“Where’s the wife?” Huh, what?

“Theodore, did you abuse the wanking today? What are you talking about?”

“You know, blond, blue eyes, amazing ass? He’s usually glued to your side.”

f*cking Christ, what is it with the people he calls friends these days? Are they taking turns to bust his balls?

“Are you jealous because you’re not getting any Theodore?”

The usual shake of the head he’s come to expect is replaced by a wide grin.

“Seems to me that you’re not getting that much yourself. The backroom feels a little empty these days don’t you think? I guess that’s pretty normal though, now that you have a boyfriend and all.”

Is Ted serious right now? Being interrogated by Michael out of jealousy or possessiveness is one thing, but Theodore Schmitt mocking him? Saying Brian’s some kind of ball-less stepford fa*g?! Brian goes from annoyed to pissed in the time it takes to finish his drink.

“I am no one’s boyfriend and ask Michael, I’ve had plenty of hot ass.” He knows he’s starting to defend himself and this is the first sign that Ted is actually getting to him, but f*ck, is it not possible to f*ck the same guy for several months without everyone planning their wedding?

Just when he thinks it cannot get worse, Emmett decides to intervene.

“Teddy, leave him alone. I think it’s nice that Brian finally found someone that cares about him. Justin’s obviously crazy about you, you know.”

Can someone please kill him right the f*ck now? Emmett probably thinks he’s helping but highlighting the feelings Justin might have for Brian is really not the way to do that. He’s got to get out of here.

“Well, thank you boys for all the fun, but I have better things to do.” He gets up and leaves. From behind him, he distinctly hears Ted.

“Wouldn’t want Justin to wait for you, huh?”

Asshole .

#

Ted is an idiot. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. When is the last time he even got laid? Last century? Brian should just forget about the stupid conversation they just had. Right?

Although, some of the arguments Theodore made weren’t completely stupid. Brian does trick less, but when you have a spitfire like Justin in your bed most nights, it’s pretty normal to have higher standards. Of course, Ted wouldn’t know anything about standards, when you look like him, you take whatever you can get. If anything, the guys should thank Brian for offering them the chance to pick up his slack.

The question is, does Justin think the same? Does he think he’s managed to tame the beast? To make Brian f*cking Kinney his boyfriend? Brian grimaces at the thought. He’s always careful not to use any of the loaded words: dates, relationship, partner, and god forbid boyfriend. Justin has always known what he was getting into. So, what if Brian cut down the f*cking a little, if he lets Justin spend the night, it’s hardly a ring or a love declaration.

Another thought occurs to Brian then, did Justin say anything to the guys? Is he the one to brag about their ‘relationship’? f*ck, this is exactly why Brian always sticks to f*cking around. This sh*t is too much trouble, even for a hot ass.

To try to unwind, Brian indulges in several glasses of Beam. When half the bottle is gone, he’s gone from puzzled to introspective to full blown pissed. Who the f*ck does Justin think he is believing he can turn Brian’s lifestyle around? Yes, the kid is hot and despite his lack of experience, he’s an amazing f*ck, he has the tightest ass and what he does with his mouth… Brian gets side-tracked for a minute. Justin is high on his list of best sex Brian’s ever had but so are other guys out there that Brian has been depriving of his talents. Brian knows what he needs. Tonight, he’s going to go out and he’s f*cking as many hot asses and mouths as he can. Justin f*cking Taylor be damned, with his big bright blue eyes and golden hair.

A quick shower later, Brian puts on his leather pants, the ones that curve his ass just so and remind every queer on Liberty Avenue what they’ll never have. Black shirt, black boots and ‘just-out-of-bed’ hairstyle and he’s ready to hit the streets.

A couple of hours later, Brian is stumbling into the loft with the brief thought that he’s forgetting something important. Trick? Check. He even got a two for one discount at Woody's. Drugs? Check. He takes another hit before the door is even closed. Bed? Check.

Given the early hour, he had first hit his usual bar and hadn’t wasted any time. Five minutes in, he already had someone on his knees sucking him off in the bathroom. That first one had felt really good, the first stroke of the trick’s tongue on his co*ck tasting like freedom. Each passing minute reacquainted him with himself, with that part of him that doesn’t give a sh*t about anyone or anything other than himself. When he came though, deep inside this anonymous mouth, a flash of blue and gold ruined it for him. This setback had pushed him into a crazy cycle of booze – f*ck – drugs – blow j*b until he was ready to pass out but at least free of annoying remembrance of a certain twink. Wanting to prolong the high and his subsequent guilt free f*ck fest, Brian had grabbed two hot guys, offering them to come back to his place for more fun. Obviously, they had agreed rapidly.

Here they are now, undressing on the bed, kissing and groping frantically. Brian sheds his clothes as smoothly as he can in his tweaked-out state and joins them. They stumble on the bed in a haze of hands on dicks and mouths on mouths. Given the amount of drug and alcohol in his system, Brian is less efficient than usual at orchestrating the festivities. A couple of failed attempts to get them started later, the brunet just drops on his back on the bed, limbs splayed out, letting the two tricks take care of him. He’s blissed out, a mouth around his co*ck, another on his neck when he hears the first knock on his door.

#

Justin’s gathering his stuff while mentally going through what he needs to buy at the grocery store. Brian said to come over around 9 for a quick take out before heading out, but Justin has another idea. This is the perfect opportunity he’s been waiting for. He’s going to get there, cook for both of them and hopefully this will be their first foray into relationship land. With a smile on his face, he puts on Brian’s favorite shirt, the one that never stays on for more than five minutes before being ripped open. He wants to show Brian that they share more than sex but he’s not going to go all monk either.

Justin knows it’s not going to be easy to have Brian admit that they are dating, the man can’t even say the word without dry heaving, but come on , inviting your lover to dinner at your place before going dancing? Even in his limited experience, Justin knows that this is the very definition of a date. But he’ll play along with Brian if that’s what he needs to feel in control.

Both Michael and Ted make sure on a regular basis that Justin knows where he stands in Brian’s life. They remind him of his lover’s way of life, of his rules. Brian doesn’t do love, or repeats. He’ll maybe ask for your name but won’t remember it. He won’t cuddle or call you. No emotional attachment whatsoever. And at first Justin took it in stride, waiting to see when he would be kicked to the curb. Except it never happened. He spends at least 4 nights a week with Brian, they have dinner, they f*ck – a lot - they talk. He’s officially part of his group of friends, knows his son and if the way he moans it when he comes is any indication, Brian definitely remembers Justin’s name. He does f*ck around, though it’s way less frequent than Justin expected it to be given the reputation Brian has, but still. It bothered him at first, because he didn’t understand the need, but now that he has a bit more experience, he guesses he does see the appeal. That’s not something he’d be willing to do forever, but he knows he can’t force Brian into anything. By the information Justin’s been given by everyone – mostly Lindsay and Emmett – Brian has already changed a lot since they met, so he knows he has to be patient and not expect too much too soon. First, make him admit to the relationship, then he’ll see.

No time to be a sad little fa*ggot, game face on, and off to the loft he goes. Once there, he manages to enter the building with some neighbor and directly goes up. He’s kind of nervous and has to give himself a little pep talk before knocking. Worst case scenario, Brian doesn’t want the home-made dinner, they can still f*ck and then go out and f*ck some more, so no reason to freak out.

Justin finally knocks on the heavy door. He waits but nothing happens. He knows Brian’s here because the jeep is parked in the street and he can hear music through the door. He knocks again, and again and again, until finally he hears the tell-tale rattle sound of the door opening. About 3 seconds later, he wishes the door had never opened.

It’s not the first time that Brian opens the door naked, but today he’s naked and sweaty and hard. This can only mean one thing. Justin silently enters the loft, not waiting to be invited. One glance at the bedroom confirms what he already knows to be true. Not one but two guys are kissing and groping, apparently the absence of their host hasn’t registered yet. Justin drops the bags to the floor and turns toward Brian. The man is obviously completely wasted and for a second Justin thinks he’d better turn around and leave. Except he’s had so much hope for tonight, for their relationship. He needs to see where Brian is taking this. So, Justin pushes.

“What the f*ck Brian?”

“Hey Sunshine! Look 4 is a crowd but we can work something out.”

“Are you for real? We had plans, remember?”

“Plans? What are you, my little nagging wife? What’s in the bags anyway?” Brian goes to check for himself.

“Awww that’s adorable. Were you going to cook for me? A nice romantic dinner?”

Brian’s tone is dripping with sarcasm and mockery. Face flushed with humiliation, Justin remains silent, certain that it’s better than saying what’s on his mind.

“Hey guys! Look, the twink is going to cook for us. Right Justin? We’re working quite an appetite here.”

“I am not a twink asshole. What’s the matter with you anyway? You asked me to come over and then I find you f*cking some guys.”

“Just so we’re clear, I do what the hell I want. I said we might get together, turns out I was presented with a better offer, so either deal with it or get the f*ck out. You’re making my dick soft.” There is no amusem*nt in Brian’s tone anymore, only contempt and coldness.

“So, we’re back to that? Me being just a f*ck?” Justin cannot believe how cruel Brian is being. It’s like he’s using all Justin’s insecurities against him. Has Justin just imagined the last few months? Was he really just a convenient bed warmer all this time?

“Back to that? There was never anything else Sunshine. Come to think of it, there was. I can actually get rid of my regular f*cks, but you, Christ, you just never leave do you?”

Justin feels his heart breaking in his chest. It’s like a fist wrapping around it, squeezing and then ripping it out of him. His eyes are burning, and he knows he’s going to cry. He can’t though, not here with Brian tweaked out of his mind looking at him like dirt under his shoe.

He heads to the door, leaving all the groceries on the floor, he’s suddenly not hungry at all.

“Well, I’m leaving now.” Justin wishes he’d found some clever parting line. Something that would stay with Brian once he’s gone, something to make him hurt as much as the blond himself is hurting. But how do you hurt someone that simply does not care? Justin’s never had that power over Brian, never will. He briefly hopes that maybe Brian will try to catch up with him, to bring him back and apologize. f*ck, he’s pathetic. Yet, it’s only once he’s on the sidewalk, tears now falling freely that he realizes Brian’s not coming after him. He probably already has his dick in one of those guys. It’s over. Weirdly, that’s not what hurts the most. What makes him want to curl up right here on the street and weep, is that Brian never cared about him. Ted and Michael were right, he’s an idiot.

#

30 minutes later, Justin is pounding on Emmett’s door. His options were limited. He couldn’t go to Deb’s because Michael was there with the good doctor for dinner, and it was definitely too early for ‘I told you so’s’. Daphne would never say that, but she doesn’t really know Brian and hearing about what a f*cking asshole he is, is not what Justin needs right now. So, Emmett's it is.

“I am such a f*cking idiot. Here I was, hands full of groceries, ready to woo him with my grandma’s jambalaya and he was having a f*cking orgy!”

“Well technically, he was having a threesome, for an orgy you need at least – “

Justin glaring at him effectively shuts Emmett up.

“Right, so not the point.”

They stay in an awkward silence after that. Emmett is obviously trying to figure out how to say what he wants to say, and Justin is just reeling over the same stuff over and over again. Finally, Emmett speaks again.

“Look sweetie, I know it sucks and Brian can be a real asshole when he wants to, but I’m sure he was just reacting to what Teddy said earlier. When you’ve both cooled down, maybe you can talk about it.”

“What did Ted say?”

“Oh, yeah, I guess you wouldn’t know. It was nothing, just Teddy trying to rile Brian up. He was talking sh*t about you two, how Brian was finally in a relationship and he wasn’t tricking anymore. It was their usual mean banter you know. But then Brian was really pissed off, and he left.”

f*ck, why did there have to be other people? They were doing fine, and Justin was pretty sure he would finally get somewhere with Brian, now Ted had to ruin it all. Although to be fair, it wasn’t really Ted’s fault, was it? Brian could have told him to f*ck off as usual and perhaps even talked to Justin about it, about why it bothered him so much that people would think he had a boyfriend. But no! Brian f*cking Kinney, doesn’t talk or share. No, he gets drunk and f*cks and lashes out.

“You know what Em, it doesn’t change anything. So, he freaked? He was pissed? Big deal! It is not reason enough to take it out on me! I’ve been so patient, accepting his ways, not pushing for months now. And someone says some sh*t and suddenly he can’t wait to get rid of me? And the things he said, f*ck, I can’t believe he would be so cruel to me. I didn’t deserve any of this Em and I won’t accept being abused like this. He’s supposed to be the adult in this f*cked up relationship.”

“OK you need to calm down, you’re freaking me out.”

Now that Justin’s got everything off his chest, he takes a good look at Emmett, and true to his words, his friend looks pale and skittish.

“Let’s get drunk and high, and then we’ll go dancing.”

At this, Emmett perks up, this is exactly up his alley.

“Good for you baby, maybe we’ll even find some hot guys to drown your sorrows in.”

Justin smiles weakly. Drinking and dancing he can handle without falling apart, but f*cking someone else? At Babylon? OK Taylor, one step at a time. First, getting sh*t faced and not feeling anything. Then, well, he’ll take it from there.

They are almost out the door when Emmett grabs his wrist.

“Honey, I know you’re hurting and you have every right to be pissed, but Brian really does care about you in his own f*cked up way. I’ve known him for a while and I’ve never seen him like this with anyone.”

Emmett really thinks he’s helping but if anything, his words breaks Justin’s heart a little more.

“Thanks Em, I just don’t want to talk about it anymore, OK?”

“Sure sweetie, let’s go.”

#

The phone ringing is what wakes Brian up. Christ, what time is it? Must have been quite the party yesterday because it’s been a while since he’s felt like sh*t this bad. Brian goes to the phone and grunts a hello.

“Brian!”

“Mikey, keep it down please.”

“Rough night?”

“I guess, I’m not sure.”

“That bad? When you didn’t show up at Babylon I thought you decided to skip and stay in with Justin.”

“What? I went to Woody’s I think. Look Mikey, I need coffee and a shower, I’ll call you later.”

“Oh, OK sure, bye.”

Brian hangs up and looks around. The place is a mess but Justin’s nowhere to be seen. Weren’t they supposed to have dinner last night? After a trip to the bathroom, he goes to the kitchen. He spots some bags on the floor, contents half-spilled. What the f*ck? There’s defrosted shrimp all over his hardwood floor and some vegetables. Just like that, it comes back to him. Justin was there, he’s the one that brought the food, he was mad. Next, Brian remembers the men, the drugs, the fight, Ted at Woody’s.

He was so out of it. It had been a while since he went on a bender like this, but Ted had royally pissed him off with his remarks and seeing Justin all domestic and hurt over a lousy three-some had just pushed Brian over the edge. He’d probably been too hard on the kid, a good thing though, better to kill all expectations, make things real clear. He’ll let Justin cool off and in a couple of days, they’ll f*ck it better.

Except a week later, Brian still hasn’t heard from Justin. The first couple of days, he didn’t expect anything, he spent his time between the shower and his bed, recovering from one hell of a hangover. When Monday came, he went to get his breakfast at the diner but for some reason Justin wasn’t working that day. Debbie kept giving him the evil eye, so Brian guessed she had heard about what happened. The guys didn’t say anything which in itself was pretty eloquent. He’s pretty sure at least Emmett must have talked to Justin given how close they came to be. They just looked at him wearily but kept quiet, thank god for small mercies. The following day went pretty much the same. On day 3, Justin re-appeared but the diner was really busy, and Debbie kept running interference, so the blond never even approached their table.

It has now been a week and still no Justin. It’s not that Brian misses him, of course not, it’s just that he wants to clear the air. He doesn’t like this limbo situation, they don’t f*ck but they didn’t actually say they wouldn’t anymore either. The weird feeling in his stomach is just due to last week's drug fest and the need to know where they stand, nothing more.

He’s getting ready for a night out, if Justin’s there, then they’ll talk. If he’s not, then at least Brian will find some hot guy to f*ck, Lord knows he needs it after this week. When he arrives at Babylon, he finds Michael and Ted at the bar. They seem awfully interested in what’s happening on the dance floor.

“Ladies.”

They look at him, clearly uncomfortable with something. They keep glancing at the dancing crowd like they don’t want him to see something.

“What are you looking at? Some new hottie in town?”

They are even more embarrassed after this. What the f*ck is going on? Brian turns to the dance floor and understanding dawns on him. Justin is in the middle of the crowd, shirt lost somewhere. He’s dancing eyes closed, head tilted back. A bunch of guys are grinding against him, hands everywhere.

When Brian turns back to the guys, they’re staring at him, waiting to see how he’s going to react.

“What?” His tone is harsher than intended but they’re starting to piss him off.

Michael is the one to answer, while Ted hides in his beer.

“Nothing, it’s just, what happened with you two? We haven’t seen you together all week, you’re not even speaking and since we’ve been there, Justin has gone to the backroom with three different guys.” 3 guys? Someone’s been busy.

“Didn’t take you for such a gossip queen Mikey.”

“Cut the bullsh*t Brian. Something went on. What did you do?”

“What did I do? Why the f*ck do you assume I did anything? I told you we’re just f*cking, if he wants to f*ck half of the Pitts, it’s fine by me. Maybe I’ll even join them.”

He really didn’t do anything, right? Perhaps he came down too strong, but one, he was f*cking wasted, second, Justin is very well aware that he’s f*cking around, the kid queened out on him for no reason and apparently, he’s still in drama land.

Michael is shaking his head disapprovingly. Ted looks almost bored.

“Well, Ma said he’s been holed up in his room all week, he’s barely talking to her, so I’d say something did happen.”

Brian for sure does not feel guilty about this, he’s just messed up because he hasn’t had sex in way too long. The sight of Justin half-naked surrounded by all these sweaty guys does nothing to alleviate his rising need. So, the kid is mad, OK, Brian will just charm his way back into his pants, easy enough. By the end of the night, he’ll be back in that sweet sweet ass. Again, he’s not missing Justin, it’s just been too long since he’s f*cked him, that’s all.

Just when he’s about to join Justin on the dance floor, Emmett appears from nowhere and stops him with a hand on his chest.

“What do you want Honeycutt?”

“Don’t call me Honeycutt, and don’t even try to scare me off. If you’re not going over there to apologize to him, just don’t go, he doesn’t need more of your crap.”

“Since when is that any of your business?” First the Novotny inquisition and now the Honeycutt shake down, Brian needs a f*cking drink.

“Justin’s my friend, I’m just looking out for him.”

“Your friend is a big boy, now let me go.”

Emmett raises his hands and lets Brian move. Fully aware of his audience, Brian puts a devilish charming smirk on his face and goes over to where Justin is still dancing, oblivious to the hands roaming his body.

#

This is exactly what he needed. Loud music, glistening men bumping and grinding, a few blow j*bs. His mind is almost blank, almost. After his breakdown at Emmett’s, they had gotten truly drunk and high until they returned to the apartment and he passed out on his friend's couch. The following day Justin stayed in bed, not even sleeping just moping around. Deb figured he was sick, so she excused him from the diner for a couple of days. When he finally came back to work, he was really nervous to see Brian, turns out he managed to stay busy, and when Deb noticed that they were not exactly talking, she helped Justin avoid him. She did try to get what happened out of him, but Justin said nothing. He only talked about it with Emmett, that was humiliating enough. A week of work, school and wallowing later, he was ready to explode. So, he called Emmett and told him to meet him here. He really does feel a bit better now.

Justin opens his eyes, looking around for his next trick. Perhaps, he’ll f*ck this one. He’s finished with his 360 tour of the possibilities when his eyes settle on the one person he really didn’t want to see. Hazel eyes meet his blue ones, and with a perfect smirk in place Brian steps into his personal space.

“Hey Sunshine. Fancy seeing you here, it seems we keep missing each other this week.”

What. The. f*ck. Last time they spoke Brian basically told him to get out of his life, and now he just comes up to him like nothing happened? Like Justin didn’t stumble into him having a three-some when they were supposed to spend the night together?

“f*ck off, Brian.” For a millisecond, surprise seems to register on Brian’s face. He recovers quickly though.

“Well, speaking of… “ He slowly puts his hand on his own crotch. “It seems that a certain part of my anatomy missed one of yours.” Is he f*cking serious?

“I’m sorry, is that supposed to be you apologizing? ‘cause I don’t see it.”

“Apologizing? And what exactly should I apologize for? For getting my needs met? For getting my dick sucked when I wanted, by whom I wanted? Excuse-me, did we turn into f*cking breeders? God forbid, into dykes?”

Is everything a joke to this man? Should Justin just stand there being insulted and ask for more?

"You think that is what this is about? You, f*cking a bunch of guys?"

Brian looks at him with a 'duh' look on his face.

"Wow, I guess we WERE just f*cking around..."

Brian's expression only intensifies, a move of his eyebrows saying 'why yes, what do you think this was'.

“I guess what they’ve been telling me from the start is true, and I’ve been too stupid to see it.”

“And what is that?” The f*cker is not even faking being curious, like Justin’s epiphany is the best entertainment he’s had in years.

“That you’re a heartless son of a bitch.”

With that Justin leaves a mildly stunned Brian in the middle of the dance floor, grabs the first man he finds and flees to the backroom. They pass Emmett, Ted and Michael on their way there. Emmett gives him a sympathetic smile. Faintly, Justin hears Michael asking Emmett “What’s that about?” and Emmett’s sad answer “Pain management.”

Pain. Justin’s not sure that this is what he’s feeling. He’s gone through so many emotions, hurt, anger, disappointment. It’s not even that Brian f*cked those guys, not really. What Justin cannot and will not accept is the cruelty. Brian says ‘sorry’s bullsh*t’, but that’s just an excuse for never having to face the consequences of his actions. No regrets, my ass. The ultimate ‘take me as I am or f*ck off, I don’t need you’. Except that Justin’s been around too long not to see that – for real this time – it is bullsh*t. Brian prepares you for the worst to avoid disappointment. He’s setting you up to get hurt so that you don’t expect anything else, and when it finally happens he can only say that you knew what you were getting into from the beginning.

The truth is though, that when no one is looking – except maybe Justin – Brian is capable of great kindness, generosity, grace even. Sure, he goes about it in all the wrong ways but that’s probably because he never had anyone showing him how it could be done. Naively, Justin thought he could be the one doing that, showing Brian that you can be loved for who you are and not who you should be, that loving someone back doesn’t make you weak or needy, but stronger. Naïve little twink. Who does he think he is trying to change Brian? The man has a whole family around him, albeit one he chose over his own, but if they were not able to make him see then what does Justin think he can do? f*ck it into Brian that love is real? Use his bubble butt to cure Brian's darkness, one hot f*ck at a time? God, no wonder Brian just called him a dyke…

So yeah, tonight Justin finally realized that he’s nothing special. Just a trick who overused his welcome. Why did Brian let him though? Convenience? A nice piece of ass at his disposal without having to leave the house? Who knows… What Justin knows now, is that he won’t be abused like that. He left home at seventeen because he wouldn’t accept his father bullying him into someone he was not, the person who was supposed to love him but couldn’t even accept who he was. He certainly did not endure the last year just to be in another relationship – yes, a f*cking relationship, Brian – where he had to hide and change himself to make someone else happy, or content, or satisfied, or whatever kind of positive feeling Brian lets himself feel once in a while. He really loves Brian and it hurts like a bitch to think of giving him up, but that’s how it has to be.

For now, he’s sinking into a stranger’s body and for a moment, Justin feels good.

#

OK, so time for a new plan. Seems like Brian underestimated how pissed Justin was, well that’s his loss really. Why should he give a f*ck? So, he forgot they had plans and f*cked two guys instead, big f*cking deal. At least, now it’s clear. For all his ‘I know it’s just f*cking’ and ‘I don’t need more than what you give’ attitude, Justin ended up being just like the rest of them. He was just better at hiding it. Brian should have known really, the kid’s barely 18, mind still full of ridiculous ideas on love and commitment. God, he’s going to throw up. Brian really should have seen it coming though, he’d been lulled into a false sense of comfort and it’s come to bite him in the ass – and not in a good way. Sure, he’ll miss the kid’s ass, and mouth, but he already has 10 replacements in mind, for tonight only.

Brian walks back to his friends, blank expression on his face, ready for the lectures and reprimands. Before they can get a word in, he orders a couple of shots, if he has to listen to their whining, he’s got to be way more drunk than this.

“What did you say to him?” Of course, Emmett would be the first one to pounce.

“I offered to f*ck, he declined.” Ted is silently laughing, like someone refusing Brian is the funniest thing ever. Brian guesses he can see how Ted would think that given that it very rarely happens.

“Did you at least apologize?” Still Emmett, trying to glare at him but not quite managing with his purple eyeshadow and pink glitter shirt.

“For what?”

“You’re an idiot Brian. Justin’s the best thing that’s happened to you and you’re ruining it.” Ok-ay. Things escalated quickly here.

“I’ll admit he’s hot and a pretty good f*ck but there was nothing more to ruin. He’s the one queening out on me, well f*ck him, I don’t need him to get laid.”

Emmett crosses his arms against his chest in a defiant stance, and turns toward Ted, effectively shutting Brian out of their conversation. Brian turns to Michael, who’s been strangely silent this whole time.

“Nothing to add Mikey? No ‘I told you so’?”

“Nope.”

“Oh, come on, you must have something to say. Weren’t you the one that warned me off Justin all these times?” Brian’s baiting Michael, and he knows it, but f*ck, might as well just get it over with. His buzz is already weakening and he’s eying a hot redhead on the other side of the bar.

“What do you want me to say Brian? I don’t even know what happened between the two of you.” The whine in Michael’s voice is unmistakable. That’s what this is about? He’s disappointed that Brian didn’t confide in him. Christ, what’s with all the puss*es around here?

“Nothing happened, we were f*cking and now we’re not. I for one, thought you’d be happy about it.”

“OK.” OK? This is rather disappointing. Brian is a ball of unspent energy and he was looking forward to having it out with Michael. Now, he guesses he’ll have to take it out on the redhead heading his way.

Chapter 10: Part 10

Chapter Text

After his encounter with Brian at Babylon and the crazy night that followed – Justin can’t remember the number of guys he f*cked and drinks he drank – Justin goes back to his routine: survive school, study, work at the diner, hanging out with Vic and Emmett. He never asks about Brian, however he always ends up hearing about him from Michael at the diner or Lindsay when he babysits Gus. Each in very different ways of course. Lindsay tries to tell him how much Brian misses him, while Michael recounts the latest tales of how Brian f*cked half of the backroom of Babylon the night before. Somehow, Justin believes one more than the other. Especially since almost every morning, Brian has cups after cups of black coffee to ease his very obvious hangovers.

They don’t talk, except for the necessary order taking and check paying. Brian keeps leaving heavy tips, Justin thinks about turning them down but can’t bring himself to do it. He justifies it by saying that he just don’t want to go through the trouble of conversation with Brian, but the truth is that it feels like a connection, something linking them still after everything. And yes, he knows how pathetic that is.

The first week was hard, always walking on eggshells at the diner or anywhere he could run into him. He started relaxing the second week. They still didn’t talk, things just felt less tense somehow. Perhaps, it was because all of their friends relaxed as well. Emmett stopped gasping when Brian would enter the diner during Justin’s shift. Michael had stopped looking at him intensely, like he’s trying to figure something out, Deb had stopped asking if he was okay every 10 seconds.

Today is special though. For the first time since their last conversation on the dance floor of Babylon, they are alone together. Brian is sitting in a booth alone, waiting for his breakfast. Debbie is not here to run interference, neither are the others. Justin is a little nervous when he brings Brian his plate.

“So, how’s it going?” sh*t, of course Brian’s going to talk to him today.

“Huh good, thanks.”

“Aren’t you going to ask how I am?” Asshole.

“Sure, how are you Brian?”

“Fabulous.”

Justin goes to leave, having other customers to attend to. Brian holds his wrist and forces Justin to sit down in front of him.

“Take your break, I don’t like eating alone.” What the f*ck? What is he trying to do?

“Brian, I can’t, I’m working.” And I don’t want to. Except Justin really wants to. For all the anger he still harbors toward Brian, he misses him, so much.

“Kiki, Justin’s taking five.”

“Sure thing, honey.” Is this some kind of conspiracy? Reluctantly, Justin sits, very uncomfortable.

Several minutes pass, and the silence is becoming heavy. Just when Justin thinks he might get away with leaving, Brian talks again.

“Have you heard from your college applications?”

“What – how do you know about that?”

Brian shrugs uninterested. f*cking Deb, not able to keep her big mouth shut.

“So?”

“Huh no, still waiting. It’s not like I’m really going anyway so …”

“Why wouldn’t you go?” Is he serious? What’s with him anyway? He’s never been interested in Justin’s future before and now all of a sudden he wants explanations? Well, f*ck him.

“Brian, what is this?”

“I believe it's called a conversation, I thought you aced your SATs.” Double asshole.

“Not what I meant. Look, I know I was just a f*ck to you and that's fine, I'll get over it, but it was more to me and I can't just - I'm not ready to talk to you like this. Sorry, I have to go back to work.”

Before he can leave, Brian catches Justin’s wrist and turns him around.

“So, what, we're not even friends anymore?”

“Were we ever? friends? I believe you said multiple times that we weren't even that.”

Brian doesn’t answer, he just rolls his bottom lip in his teeth.

“Later Brian.”

“Later.”

Justin goes to the break room for a minute. He needs to pull himself together before going back there. He wasn’t ready for this, he’s not even sure he’ll ever be. He’s known Brian for about 9 months, and during all this time, all their interactions have been laced with flirting, innuendos, promises of sex. Then, Justin fell in love and … How can he just talk to Brian without any of this stuff? Like Justin said, they were never really friends to begin with, so what now?

When he’s fairly certain his face is back to his normal state, Justin leaves the break room. The first thing he notices is that Brian is gone. He clears the table and pockets the money the older man left for his breakfast. Just then, Justin notices that there’s a piece of paper mixed with the bills. ‘For when you get your acceptance letter to PIFA.’

Justin counts the money twice to be sure, Brian left him a 200 dollars tip.

#

Two days after his conversation with Justin, Brian finds himself once again, alone in a booth at the diner. It’s not his fault if he has obligations in the office that force him to be there before the actual breakfast rush, way before any of his friends arrive. If it means an opportunity to see Justin without anyone breathing down his neck, it’s just a fortunate coincidence. He’s not too sure if Justin is happy about it though. He’s still trying to figure out if their last conversation went well or not. Brian just wanted the awkwardness to be over. Mainly because he’s bound to see Justin, what with him living at Deb’s and working here, and he was so tired of the looks and the whispers. Brian wants things back to the way they were, pre-Justin, and that means being able to be in the same room without it being so weird.

That’s the main reason of course. The other reason, that Brian doesn’t dare think about even in the confines of his own mind is that he likes talking to Justin. He really is interested in his college applications. Although he must not be as good as he thinks at hiding it, judging by the amount of information Debbie is passing on to him about her precious Sunshine. Brian doesn’t even have to ask, she just volunteers updates on Justin’s school – still full of hom*ophobic assholes, his art – the show at the GLC is in 3 days and he’s nervous even if he won’t admit it, his future – he applied to PIFA, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh University and Dartmouth, that last one really threw him for a minute.

He’s spent a lot of time thinking about what Justin said ‘I know I was just a f*ck to you and that's fine, I'll get over it, but it was more to me and I can't just - I'm not ready to talk to you like this’. It’s not a surprise how Justin feels, not really. Brian played dumb for a while, in order to maintain status quo and to keep enjoying himself but he knew, of course he knew. The part that occupies his mind is the one about Justin being just a f*ck to him. Again, he’s not surprised that Justin would think that, Brian told him so often enough, Michael did as well, yet when Brian heard it from the kid’s mouth, it felt wrong. Would he have allowed a trick to take care of his son? To sleep in his bed night after night? To ask questions about his past, his family?

Brian denied it all he wanted and still does when Lindsay pushes to talk about it, only he knows the scary truth. Justin was not just a f*ck. This frightening admission is what triggered the cycle he’s in now: nights spend awake trying to figure out what this means, then nights spent f*cking endless lines of tricks, high off his mind, trying to forget Justin and the mess he created in Brian's previously well controlled life. Maybe Brian just misses Justin’s ass and he's just being a f*cking lezzy about it.

The bell above the door rings and without thinking about it Brian turns around to see who’s the new comer. He frowns when he sees the middle-aged woman making her way in the diner. She looks completely out of place and seeing how she’s clutching her purse and doesn’t dare to look at anyone in the eye, she knows it too. Something about her is oddly familiar though and Brian finds himself staring. Suddenly, his attention is caught by the sound of glass breaking. Justin is standing by the counter, shell-shocked and pale.

“Mom?”

Brian wants to take him away, to extract him from this situation. He can see Justin’s discomfort and fear and for some reason, Brian wants to protect him from it all. It’s too late though, Justin’s mother is already by her son, smiling awkwardly. Brian sits back in his booth, set on staying here in case Justin needs him.

#

f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck. What is she doing here? How does she even know about ‘here’? It’s been such a long time since he’s seen her last. The sight of her warms Justin’s heart while simultaneously breaking it a little bit more.

“What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to see you Justin.”

“How did you even know where to find me?”

“Daphne told me.” sh*t, how could she betray him like that?

“Don’t be mad at her, she wouldn’t tell me, but I insisted.”

“Well, you saw me, you can leave now, guilt free, I’m not dead in a ditch.”

“Justin!” Jennifer gasps, hand on her chest. What was she expecting really? A hug? Tears? Him, begging for her forgiveness?

She tries to approach him, hands reaching out for a hug. Justin backs off, suddenly very angry.

“Don’t!”

“Look Mrs. Taylor, I think you should leave now.”

Just what Justin needed, Brian getting in the middle of this. Apparently, Jennifer didn’t hear him, or she chose to ignore him because she continues without acknowledging his presence.

“Justin, I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“So now you worry? Where were you when he was sleeping on the streets?”

God, can someone please get him out of here?

“What? No. Justin, you said you were renting an apartment with a friend.”

Brian lets out a mean laugh and at this moment, for the first time in almost 3 weeks, Justin feels their connection again.

“It’s true then, that you rich people live in your own little world. How do you think a 17-year-old with an after-school job can afford an apartment ?!”

Jennifer’s face falls once she realizes that it must be true. Before things can get too far with Brian, Justin finally intervenes.

“Look mom, things were tough for a while, but I’m fine now, OK? I’m staying with one of the waitress here, I have my own room and my job here.”

Again, Brian scoffs like there’s more he wants to say. He really needs to leave so that Justin can handle this his way.

“Brian, I’ve got this. Please let me handle it.”

Just when Brian’s about to argue, Jennifer recovers from her last shock and finally asks the one question nobody wanted to hear.

“Excuse-me, but who are you exactly?”

Somehow, Justin feels that saying that Brian’s the guy he’s been f*cking for the better part of a year would not go well with his mother.

“Huh, Brian is –“

“A friend.”

Justin looks at him surprised and gives him a small smile. Brian smiles in return and Justin does his best not to show how he’s missed the older man, how this simple gesture makes him want to throw himself at him.

If his mother detects that this is not the full story, she doesn’t say anything. She waits until Brian leaves them alone and returns to the topic of her visit.

“Are you really OK?”

“Yes mom, I am.”

“Graduation is coming fast, and I was wondering…”

“Does Dad know you’re here?” Justin cuts her off, he can’t get his hopes up. He needs to know where they stand, how willing they are to reconnect after almost a year without real contact.

“Justin…”

If there was any warmth between the two, it is now over for good.

“No, I don’t want to hear it mom. I’m done hiding or trying to be what he thinks I should be. When he’s ready to get to know me, the real me, he can call or visit. Same for you. But I won’t compromise anymore. Not for anyone.”

If his eyes stray briefly to where Brian pretends to be drinking coffee and not eavesdropping, it is of course pure coincidence.

His mother looks at him, torn between pride and sadness.

“I’m really sorry Justin.”

“I know mom. Kiss Molly for me, I’ll try to call her soon, if that’s OK.”

“Of course, she’ll be so happy.”

Jennifer takes one last look at her son and leaves. When the door closes behind her, Justin lets out a deep breath. f*ck, that was way too emotional for a Tuesday morning. He turns back around to the counter, ready to actually do some work. He comes face to face with Brian that relocated to finish his coffee and pay his tab.

“You okay?”

Is he okay? Not really no.

“Yeah I guess. Thank you for – “ For what? Defending him? Being his friend? Apparently, he doesn’t have to elaborate, Brian simply nods, drops a few bills on the counter – still way more than what he owes - and leaves the dinner.

Can this day be over yet?

#

Justin welcomes the quiet that comes after the confrontation with his mother and whatever that was with Brian. The reprieve is short-lived though, soon he has to focus on the Art Show at the GLC. Lindsay has helped him choose from his sketches the ones he wants exposed. Of course, this led to endless discussions about Brian. In the end, Justin agreed to have one of his sketches of the brunet in the show. The rest is a mix of abstracts and detail study. Justin’s nervous as hell to have people see his work. Lindsay says he's good and he guesses Brian must have thought so as well, otherwise he wouldn’t have recommended Justin to her but still … He’s not really worried about Brian seeing the sketch of him. He’s not one to participate in GLC’s events, even less when it’s during day time.

The day of the event, the blond is a wreck. He considers cancelling the whole thing. Thankfully, Daphne is here with him, distracting him and assuring him that his stuff is the best of the show. Not for the first time he wonders what he would do without her.

The doors are now open, Debbie’s here with Emmett, and Ted is with some guy. They all congratulate him, and Justin feels grateful for them. These people that took him in, included him in their life when nothing forced them to. People that could have dropped him after things with Brian ended but didn’t. People that have been here for him in a way he’s not sure he’ll be able to repay any time soon.

Lindsay and Mel keep setting him up with other teens. Their hearts are in the right place, but Justin’s not interested. Not that he’s been celibate since Brian, far from it, he’s just not looking for a boyfriend or anything. He’s trying to come up with a new excuse not to go talk to the latest prospect, when he feels eyes on him. He could pretend it’s just the feeling of being watched, but the unmistakable rise of the hairs on his arm and chill going through his whole body says otherwise. Brian is here.

#

Brian knows he’s being set up. Why on earth would Lindsay need him to drop Gus here at the GLC instead of at the house once the whole thing is over? The kid won’t care about the pretty pictures on the walls and he’s bound to be a hindrance for his mothers. No, Lindsay wanted Brian here. She could have asked, probably didn’t for fear of receiving a negative answer, so she schemed. f*cking lesbians, thinking they can orchestrate some kind of romantic reunion between Justin and him. Laughable.

He gives the baby back to the munchers, kisses him goodbye and goes to leave. She thought she could manipulate him? Well, try again. From the corner of his eye, he sees Justin and hesitates for a second. Brian said they were friends, isn’t supporting each other in their endeavors something that friends do? Perhaps he should look around quickly before leaving. That would be the polite thing to do.

f*ck polite. Brian wants to check Justin’s art out. He wants to know which sketches the kid chose to show. He wants to know if he’ll find his face on the wall, his body. Debbie would call him a self-centered asshole and that might just be true.

Brian changes direction and walks to the wall where Justin’s art is hung. Needless to say, his art is the best of the show, this is the GLC not the f*cking MET. Still, seeing it almost professionally displayed impresses Brian. He scans the different drawings rapidly. He squashes down the flutter of disappointment at not seeing himself among them. Disappointment turns into something suspiciously resembling relief and happiness comes the last sketch. He’s staring at himself, in bed, the sheets draped around his middle, so his modesty is intact – like anyone in here still hasn’t seen him naked. The main focus of the drawing is not his body or the bed though, but his face. His unguarded, open, soft face. Brian’s not sure he’s ever seen that expression on himself before. What is even that expression?

“Either you really care for that boy or he’s got a vivid imagination.”

Deb’s voice startles him from his thoughts.

“What?”

“That look, that he drew. I’ve only seen you like this a handful of times. Usually when Michael tells you he loves you.”

Oh.

“Artistic freedom I guess.”

“Sure. Spot on though.”

“Something you’d like to say Deb?”

“Why won’t you let yourself be with him Brian? It’s obvious you care for him, perhaps even l-“

“Look Deb, thank you for the unsolicited advice but I don’t need it. I don't want all this relationship crap and I’ll never give him what he wants.” Brian knows damn well that none of this is a denial of her previous statement.

“And what is it that he wants?”

“Romance, commitment, monogamy, all that hetero bullsh*t.”

“Then let me give you another piece of advice asshole, you should start by asking him what he wants instead of assuming.”

With that she leaves him alone, staring at his own face on paper. Asking Justin what he wants? To what end exactly? Brian knows what the kid wants, right? He said that – he said … Except Brian can’t really remember Justin ever saying anything, asking for anything. There was this fight yes, but the details are kind of blurry actually, and Justin did seem surprised that Brian thought it was all about him f*cking someone else.

He has to stop with this bullsh*t. Even when he’s not f*cking him anymore, Justin is messing with his head, his life. It was the right thing to do, stopping this. Brian needs to go back to his ‘normal’ life, as soon as possible. In fact, he’s getting the hell out of here now. Just before he storms out, Brian catches someone from the staff.

“I want the piece n°83 delivered to my place by tomorrow.”

“Don’t you want to know how much they ask for it?”

“Don’t care, whatever it is, I’ll pay.”

30 minutes later, the drawing is being tagged as sold and Brian has his dick deep inside one of the waiters.

#

“Justin, come sit down.”

“Huh OK. What’s going on Vic?”

“You received a letter.”

From Vic’s tone, Justin guesses that it’s not just a basic letter. This must be from one of the colleges where he applied. Please, let it be anyone but PIFA.

“It’s from PIFA.” f*cking universe.

“Oh.”

“Aren’t you going to open it?”

“Yeah sure.”

Except Justin isn’t opening it. He’s staring at it. He thought he’d receive other letters before this one. He would have practiced the opening, the reading, the schooling of his features after the negative response. PIFA is not practice though. This is it. What he really wants. He knows that even with a positive answer, there’s next to no chance that he’ll actually go. Obviously, his father will not finance his higher education and he doesn’t have thousands of dollars waiting in the bank. Working at the diner and living with Debbie and Vic allowed him to save some, enough for books and art supplies but definitely not tuition or housing. Justin just wants to know that he’s good enough, stupid as it is.

“Justin?”

Right, the letter. Still unopened in his hand. He hands it back to Vic.

“I can’t. You open it.”

Vic hesitates for a second but complies. The following seconds are excruciatingly long and painful. Vic struggles with the envelope and then with the letter. Finally, he starts reading silently. Justin stops breathing, waiting.

“You’re in.”

“What?”

“You’re in!! You did it!!”

Oh my god! He’s in? He’s in?? They hug and kiss and jump around for a while. When they’re done, they settle at the table again. After the high of the acceptance, Justin feels the low of the reality settling in. Vic looks at him questioningly.

“I can’t go.”

“Justin, you have to go. We’ll find some way.”

“How Vic? My parents aren’t paying for it, I don’t have the money, and because of them I won’t qualify for a scholarship. I wanted to know if I could do it, now I know I can. It has to be enough.”

“You know, if you asked him, he would help.”

No way, no f*cking way.

“Don’t even think about telling him! Vic I’m serious! He’s already financed half of my savings with his gigantic tips. I’m not asking Brian for more money.”

“OK, OK I won’t say anything. Can’t promise Deb won’t though.”

Justin knows Vic is right, when Debbie hears about his acceptance and his financial issue, she’ll probably take it in her own hands. f*ck.

“Have you talked to him lately?” No need to ask who Vic’s talking about.

“Briefly a few days ago. He came to the show at the GLC, but he didn’t talk to me. I think Lindsay forced him to come for some reason.”

Justin pretends he’s not bothered by it. The truth is, when he saw Brian at the show he thought the older man would come to see him, give Justin his opinion on his sketches, well on one sketch in particular. He just looked at it. After that, he disappeared, Justin suspects with one of the waiters and left.

“Are you not going to tell me that he cares about me? That he’s changed during the last year, that I shouldn’t lose hope?”

“I’ll leave that to my sister. You’re a bright young man Justin, you’ve been taking care of yourself for a while now, you know what it requires. How you had to build walls around you, to protect you. Brian’s been taking care of himself his whole life.”

Vic doesn’t need to say more. Justin gets where he’s getting at. In a year on his own, Justin changed so much already. Brian has almost 30 years of this behind him, the walls are thicker, higher, harder to let go of. Is that it? Has Brian been cruel to him to protect himself? To avoid dealing with his emotions?

“Thanks Vic.”

“You’re welcome kiddo.”

Justin heads to his bedroom. His emotions all over the place. Tonight, he’ll let the topic of Brian drop, he needs to figure out how to attend PIFA.

Chapter 11: Part 11

Chapter Text

Babylon is even more packed than usual. The regulars are here, joined by every fa*g in a ten-mile radius. Oh yeah, King of Babylon. Brian had totally forgotten it was tonight. Just as well, the crowd will go wild over half naked beefy boys while he’ll enjoy the relative quiet of the backroom with the most enticing specimens. Brian turns to the stage where a bulky fireman is down to his underwear and suspenders. He’s grinding against the pole set up in the middle of the stage. Each year, contestants look the same - big muscles, tanned skin, skilled thrusts of the hips - he should know; he’s f*cked half of them.

This year though, the appeal has faded. When you’ve f*cked firemen, policemen, construction workers, etc. a dozen times, the fantasy kind of dies down. Good news is, he already noticed a hot brunet at the bar. He’ll let the guy simmer for a little while and then go for it. No need to rush things; he’ll still be there after a couple of Beams.

After an astronaut with dirty blond hair gets off the stage – what do you know, something he hasn’t f*cked yet, maybe after the hot brunet – Brian walks toward his target, smirk in place. It’s as easy as planned; the guy already has a hand in his pants when the next contestant is announced.

“Our next contestant loves the PowerPuff girls, margaritas and he’s going to be the next Andy Warhol. Here’s Justin!

What? No f*cking way. Justin wouldn’t, right? Except, it is Justin, now on the stage. He’s wearing some sort of cowboy attire; well just a hat really. Christ he’s hot. He’s not too sure of himself up there, making Brian wonder why he’s even doing this. The loud ‘Come on, Justin, you’re so hot’ he hears from Emmett, who’s planted right in front of the stage, tells him all he needs to know about the kid’s reasons. Determined not to let it disturb him, Brian turns back to his trick of the moment. Except, it seems the trick in question is rather interested in what's happening on the stage and hasn’t even noticed Brian. The music is now at full blast and Justin has recovered from his momentary stage fright. He’s rolling his hips, caressing his torso, an innocent smile on his face in total contradiction to the sex appeal dripping from his small figure.

Get your head back in the game, Kinney. He tries to kiss the man next to him, but he too is caught up in the Justin show on stage to care about Brian’s advances. f*ck. Looking around, Brian realizes his prospective trick’s not the only one. The whole club is now focused on Justin’s every move. Mouths agape, tongues on the floor, drool on chins. Brian feels something roar in his stomach. Some kind of primal instinct, dictating that he hauls Justin off of the stage, take him far away from all the voyeurs and f*ck him into remembering who he belongs to. Brian did not just think that bullsh*t, he didn’t. Except he did. f*cking hell.

It’s probably just a mild case of sexual frustration mixed with the vision of a half-naked Justin spiraling around a pole – since when does he know any pole dance moves anyway? – for which he has just the cure. The display of creamy skin, taut muscles and blond hair is getting to him. Hot brunet is still at his side, albeit a little – a lot – distracted. Brian hasn’t had the last word just yet, however. He leans in and whispers a few dirty words, a hand slowly trailing down the trick’s chest toward his dick. He obviously didn’t anticipate the hand that stops him, the eyes fixed on Justin’s ass. With a huff, he accepts his fate and sits back, enjoying the show like all the other god-damn fa*gs in the room.

#

Adrenaline pumping in his blood, Justin stills feels the rush of being on stage long after his little performance is over. He managed to keep it together during but now he feels a full-body blush taking him over. He joins Emmett at the forefront of the stage and hides his face in his shoulder.

“God, Em, I can’t believe you made me do this.”

“You were amazing honey - so hot! You’ll have your choice of entertainment tonight. Come on, I’ll buy you a drink to settle your nerves - you’re shaking!”

God bless Emmett - Justin really does need a big drink. Now that the moment is passed, it’s like all his emotions are catching up with him and he is indeed shaking like a leaf. Of course, getting to the bar and seeing that Brian is there with a trick does nothing to help him.

“Sunshine! Didn’t know you had an exhibitionism kink.” sh*t, he’s wasted. Wasted Brian can only mean two things - horny Brian which is so not going to happen now, or mean Brian. Justin braces himself for what’s probably coming.

“I don’t. Em and I had a bet going on - I lost so I had to do it.” Not that he didn’t happen to have fun doing it, but he doesn’t want to go into more detail than necessary.

“What kind of bet would that be? Who’s the biggest bottom? Who can wear sequins better?” Right, mean Brian. Justin doesn’t plan on answering; instead, he tries to catch the attention of the bartender. He’s getting his free drink and then he’s out of here.

“Actually, I bet Justin he would get into at least three of the schools he applied to. See, our baby isn’t just about looks. He’s also a genius.” Leave it to Emmett to gloat in his place. Although the fleeting look of surprise and maybe pride that crosses Brian’s face is worth the embarrassment.

“And which school will you grace with your presence then?” Good question. None of them? Justin considers lying, but what good would it do? Brian will learn the truth anyway. At least if he’s the one telling him, Justin can kill any attempt at helping the poor little fa*ggot.

“None of them actually - I’m not going.” Brian drops the uninterested act for a minute.

“Why the f*ck not?”

“College is not exactly free, and I’m not rolling in money. I wanted to know if I could get in - I did - now I’m moving on.”

They look at each other without uttering a word for a very long time, Brian’s interrogative stare slowly morphing into understanding and resolve. That last one surprises Justin. Is he planning on offering his help? Why would he do that anyway? Brian’s been adamant about them being nothing, owing each other nothing. Sure, he said they were friends, but given how little they’ve actually shared for the last few weeks, acquaintances would be more accurate.

The tense silence is interrupted by some guy asking Justin if he wants to dance. Sure. Anything to get out of this hell. After that, the night is a whirlwind of dancing and trips to the backroom. Regularly, Justin glances at the bar and sees that Brian is still there, trick long gone. He looks kind of angry. Is he jealous? No way. Brian doesn’t do jealousy - or any type of emotion outside of lust.

“He’s sooooo jealous - it’s hilarious.” OK, apparently Emmett thinks so too. Could it be? Brian was the one to reject him, wasn’t he? And even when they were… what they were, he didn’t mind Justin being with other people; he encouraged it even. Then again, Brian’s attitude tonight since he’s been on stage is pretty weird. Justin smiles to himself, feeling hopeful for the first time in weeks.

#

Brian’s now a bit drunk - OK, actually really f*cking wasted. That was fast. Only an hour ago he was lying down in a coffin; next thing he knows he’s downed about a hundred shots of Beam and had almost as many hits of his special mix. Nothing really makes sense at this point; when did they eat the cake? Where are the balloons? And most importantly, where the f*ck is Justin?

To say he had been surprised when his friends woke him up to celebrate his birthday would be a lie. After all the sh*t he gave Michael and Ted about being old, of course they would get their revenge. The lengths to which they went though had definitely surprised him. Had he not been so f*cking depressed about turning thirty, he would have found it all very funny.

Brian turns around a few times like a dog trying to catch its own tail. Bad idea; a strong wave of nausea hits him. The appearance of the hot blond is enough to calm him though. He’s not too sure where they stand; they’ve talked some and Justin came to his birthday party, so it cannot be too bad. Regardless of whether they’re friends or not, Brian can only focus on one thing. He needs to f*ck Justin right the hell now, or he’ll die. Probably. Or something equally horrible.

Brian prowls over to him in what he thinks is a sexy walk – it looks more like a drunken stumble – and catches him with a hand behind his neck. He presses his lips to Justin’s in a searing kiss – probably more of an awkward mouth smush – and pulls him flush against his body. Justin looks stunned for a second but ultimately kisses Brian back. A little. Then the blond pushes at his chest. Hard.

“What?” The slurring in his words makes Brian wince. He’s usually way more composed, even drunk.

“What the f*ck Brian? What are you doing?”

“Oh, come on, Sunshine. You’re smart, you can figure it out.” Brian tries once again to reach out for him. Surely, Justin wants him just as much. He just needs a little convincing, right?

“You’re drunk - and high.” Somehow, the way Justin says it doesn’t sound very appealing.

“Come on; I’ll take you home.”

Brian thinks that this is the best idea ever. Once in the loft, there’s no way Justin can resist him.

Except that the whole alcohol and drug thing, coupled with the drive home, equals a thoroughly passed out Brian. He closes his eyes for one second in the car, and when he re-opens them, morning has come. He’s in bed with his clothes on and Justin is nowhere to be seen. f*ck.

Brian gets up groaning, his head pounding. He reaches the kitchen counter after what seems to be a hundred years. Once there, he drops his head in his hands, elbows resting on the counter.

“I see you’re alive.”

f*cking Christ! Brian jumps at the sound of Justin’s voice. He guesses it’s good news that the kid’s still there. Although the tone of his voice contains anything but its usual playfulness in such situations.

“Jury’s still out. You stayed.”

It’s barely a question. Does that mean that Justin did want him last night? Is Brian even able to f*ck in his state? Leave it to him to ruin the opportunity with too much Beam and Special K.

“Someone had to make sure you didn’t choke on your own vomit.” Right.

“Where did you sleep?” Stupid question, but Brian cannot help the flicker of excitement at the idea of Justin sharing his bed again.

“I didn’t.” So, what, Justin spent the night watching him? It should feel creepy.

“Don’t flatter yourself; I stayed on the sofa, sketching, thinking.” Apparently, Justin still has the ability to read him better than his own friends.

Brian is in no state to have the kind of conversation he anticipates is coming. He just wanted to forget all about his birthday; he wanted to forget everything, and he wanted to f*ck Justin. Now, feeling like sh*t, he is still thirty and to top it all he definitely not f*ck Justin, nor is he expecting to now.

Not bothered by Brian not answering, Justin continues,

“What the hell was that yesterday?”

“I believe it’s called a birthday party, Sunshine.”

“Don’t f*ck with me Brian. After weeks of barely speaking to each other, you kiss me like nothing happened, expecting me to drop to my knees.”

Don’t think about Justin on his knees; don’t think about Justin on his knees. sh*t.

“I’m way too hungover for this sh*t,” Is all he manages to say. Sober, he’d hate this conversation, but with a pounding head and revolting stomach? No way. Damn, it doesn’t look like his sorry state will stop the kid.

“So you’ll just listen then. It’s not like you would have actually talked anyway.

“I don’t know what you were thinking; maybe it was just about you turning thirty and freaking out. The point is, I’m not playing this game anymore. You hurt me, which I guess was partly my fault too. It’s not like I didn’t know not to expect anything from you. I just never thought you’d be cruel to me. And for what? Because we were too close to being something? Because you were freaking out? Well, you got what you wanted. We’re nothing; you’re free to do whatever. But don’t think you can just kiss me and expect me to let you f*ck me when you feel like it.”

“Damn right you knew! So what? I f*cked a couple guys and now you get to be the wounded little boy?”

“You still think this is about those guys? Christ, Brian, do you even listen to what I say? Do you even care about what I want? Not what Ted or Lindsay or even you think that I want? I don’t care about those guys! What? You thought I suddenly expected you to be monogamous? Hell, I wasn’t even myself! I just thought we were getting somewhere, I thought… I don’t know really. And then you humiliated me, in front of the guys. What you said that day was unnecessarily hurtful. Ted had pissed you off and you took it out on me. Never mind that I never asked to be boyfriends? Had I ever asked for more than what you were giving me? I just needed to know I meant something more than those tricks. That you cared, even a little.”

Brian’s anger deflates after Justin’s little speech. He’s not sure of how he feels, so he says nothing. Justin goes from angry to resigned.

“Right, of course you’re not saying anything. At least I got to say my piece and now that you’re not in danger of choking to death anymore, I’ll just go.”

Brian is stuck in place. He just wants to crawl back in bed and sleep for a week. Then maybe he’ll know what to say. He does just that - turns around and goes back to bed without looking in Justin’s direction. He hears the door open and close and waits until he finally falls asleep.

Loud knocking on the door wakes him up a few hours later. What now?

Brian gets up feeling marginally better. The pounding doesn’t stop.

“I’m f*cking coming!”

He opens the door to discover Lindsay and his boy. The sight of Gus brings a smile to his face.

“Hey, Sonny Boy, what are you doing here?”

“We came to make sure you were still alive.” Lindsay smiles her tender smile, though Brian can detect a hint of pity in her eyes. She probably witnessed his little scene with Justin yesterday.

“Don’t worry; Justin already made sure I survived my little celebration.”

“Oh, is he still here? Did he stay the night?” She goes from surprised to hopeful in a nanosecond and Brian curses himself for mentioning the kid.

“He’s not here; you can stop looking.”

“What happened?” Yes, Brian, what happened exactly?

“Nothing. I passed out, he made sure I lived to see my first official day as an old man and left.”

“Is that all?” Christ, what is it with Lindsay and her ability to see right through his bullsh*t?

“There was some yelling before he left. Apparently, he needed to get a few things off his chest.”

She just nods, but the ability to see through one’s bullsh*t goes both ways. She’s dying to say something: he’ll be damned if he helps her get it out. He’s still feeling like crap - no need to add to it. Instead, he grabs his son and kisses him softly. He never thought he’d enjoy having a kid, but it comes in handy sometimes.

“Brian, what happened exactly?” she says on a sigh, like she’s close to giving up on him. He doubts she really would but still he’s not pleased by the idea.

“I just told you, Linds.”

“No, I mean before, a few weeks ago. You were doing fine and then you weren’t even talking. Justin wouldn’t say anything.”

“Because nothing really happened. I mean, he showed up here; apparently, we had plans, and I was… otherwise occupied. He didn’t take it well - he yelled; I probably was an asshole; he left and that was it.”

Lindsay frowns, clearly unsatisfied with his answer.

“That’s weird; Justin wouldn’t be mad about you being with someone else. When we talked -“

“You talked? When? I hope you did not give him any ideas, Linds. Although that would explain his little speech this morning.”

“Before his art show at the GLC, before you … fought. He seemed pretty accepting of the situation; he actually forbade me to talk to you about it. He said he would not pressure you into anything, that it had to be your decision. That he was okay with whatever you were ready to give him.”

She says all this without looking at him, like she’s talking to herself. When she’s done, she looks surprised - guilty even - that she told him all that.

“sh*t, I didn’t mean to tell you about that. He really did ask me to mind my own business.”

“And you didn’t listen? How surprising.”

He manages to keep a cool façade, but his mind is reeling. Justin confided in Lindsay about them? He tries to reconcile what she just said with what Justin said this morning and what he has believed since they… stopped f*cking. It seems he had it all wrong, and maybe Justin really wasn’t trying to turn him into a f*cking lesbian. Then what did he want? Right, he told Brian this morning. He wants to know he matters, that Brian cares about him more than just for f*cking. Does he though?

He’s always believed that all this crap about feelings and relationships is for breeders and dykes. They’re gay men. They f*ck and enjoy it; they don’t need more. More is bullsh*t. More means you get vulnerable and weak. More means you get hurt. Brian doesn’t do hurt; he does angry.

“You should have told him Lindsay.”

“Told him what?”

“That he was waiting for nothing, that he was wasting his time. There was nothing to be ready for; what he had, was all he was going to get.”

“So what you’re saying is that he should have known better? That this is all his fault?” Lindsay does angry well too. And people wonder why they’re even friends.

“Damn right, he should have known better, better than to-”

“What, to fall in love with you?”

“Please, don’t even.”

“What is really bothering you, Brian? That he fell in love with you despite all the warnings and precautions, or that you fell for him too?”

He wants to lash out at her, but this is Lindsay and he can never really be as much of an asshole to her as he is to everyone else. Plus, maybe… No, she’s not right; she can’t be.

Brian’s still trying to find something to say to defend himself when she starts gathering her stuff.

“You’re leaving?” Not that he’s not happy to get out of this very painful conversation.

“Yes, I have to drop Gus off at Dusty’s, we’re going to Debbie’s later to – hmm – help Justin get ready for prom.”

“He’s going?” He really didn’t want to ask; it just came out. And judging from Lindsay’s smile she knows he didn’t want to appear interested.

“Yes, he didn’t want to at first - said that there was only one person he would want to take but it was not possible. “ Subtle, Lindsay, real subtle.

“Anyway, we convinced him, and he’s taking Daphne.”

“Good for him.”

“Brian- “

“You’d better go; Gus seems kind of tired and my head is killing me.”

She kisses Brian on the cheek with an obvious tinge of pity, and he hates her a little for it. After that, she’s gone, and he feels unsettled. Damn Lindsay and her ability to make him think.

A year ago, there was nothing to think about. No Justin, just random tricks. In and out, no trouble. Now… He has to admit that he has missed the kid the last few weeks. The sex was really good; it’s not often he meets someone who’s as insatiable as he is. Brian has tried to convince himself that that’s all he misses. The truth, though, is even when they didn’t have sex, he liked to be around Justin. They would eat, dance, talk.

Brian’s a bright man; he knows all this almost qualifies to a relationship. He just didn’t want to admit it to anyone, especially himself. He’s always sworn he would never and then … With Justin though, it didn’t feel suffocating or hypocritical; it was actually nice. Christ, he can’t believe where his thoughts are going. He’s not stupid; he knows what Lindsay intended with her prom story. No way is he going there, where he’d be stuck with a bunch of overly hormonal teenagers in cheap tuxedos. He can’t keep from imagining how Justin would look in a tux, however. That ass of his would look fantastic, and the contrast between his hair and the black of the fabric would be hot. Perhaps he’s even going to style it differently, maybe push his hair back to show off his eyes.

Before he can stop himself, Brian’s pulling his co*ck out of the confines of his pants and he starts stroking himself. In his mind, he sees Justin in his prom attire. He’s taking off the kid’s jacket; they’re kissing frantically. He undresses Justin completely and kisses his neck, his chest, his stomach. He can feel Justin’s hard-on against him and it turns him on to no end. He continues jerking himself off to the image of Justin’s co*ck in his mouth. He thinks of that time when he let him f*ck his mouth. The kid was so f*cking hot, going for it, letting his need for pleasure take over. Brian comes to the memory of Justin filling his mouth with his release. Once the fog lifts, he realizes this is the first time he’s ever jerked off to a fantasy where he’s not the one getting off.

#

Emmett’s been combing his hair for the last 30 minutes, and it’s starting to get on his nerves.

“Em, come on; this is not The Oscars. I’m sure I look fine.”

“Fine? Fine?? Have I taught you nothing? If you’re going to do it, you give it all. Your flame is going to burn bright tonight, honey.”

“Not too bright I hope; the crowd over there will be nothing like at like Babylon. I just want to have a relatively good time with Daphne and go home unscathed.”

“Wow, don’t put the bar so high.”

They laugh, and finally Emmett declares Justin’s ready. He pushes him in front of the mirror, and wow, he does look pretty hot.

“You look amazing, sweetie. Brian would have a stroke if he saw you.”

Justin looks away, trying to rein in the sadness he feels after their disastrous talk this morning. He thought if he could get Brian to understand what his expectations were, the brunet would realize that it was not that big a deal. That they could go back to where they were before, only better. What a twat. Why would Brian want him? He can have anyone, without any of the trouble Justin comes with. What does he have to offer to a guy like Brian? His ass?

“I’m sorry; I know you miss him, although I really don’t understand why. You could do so much better.”

This has the expected effect. Justin relaxes and goes down to receive praises from all the women in the room. When Lindsay hugs him, she looks at him a second too long. He wonders what that’s about.

“I really thought he would stop by.”

“What? Why?”

“I – hmm – I talked to him this morning after you left; I thought maybe he would finally admit that he wants to be with you. I’m sorry I couldn’t get through to him.”

He wants to be upset that she disregarded his wish to not get involved, but Justin knows she meant well. Between their discussion this morning and then Lindsay, at least things are clear, finally. Brian doesn’t want to be anything more than friends or occasional f*cks. Justin will just have to get used to it.

#

He can’t believe it; he’s actually having fun. Daphne and Justin have been on the dance floor for an hour. The music is not great, but he expected that. The setting couldn’t be any more different from what he’s used to; yet it feels nice to be a real teenager for a minute. They goof around, sip punch and enjoy each other. He has missed Daphne. The angst-free fun is refreshing, and he’s barely thought about Brian. Well, just a couple of times - more accurately a hundred times - but not in a bad way. Brian would just hate everything about this; Justin can hear his funny sarcasms in his head and it puts a smile on his face.

After a while, they take a break and head to the bar again. They’re talking about their graduation plans when Daphne looks behind him with a startled expression. She seems ready to jump out of her own skin. Justin gets curious and turns around.

No freaking way.

The punch was spiked with E or GHB or some other drug that causes hallucinations because there is absolutely no f*cking way Brian is now standing there in an amazing suit, looking more uncomfortable than Justin’s ever seen him. Except that now he’s talking and Daphne answers, so either they’re having a collective hallucination or Brian really is here. With him. For him.

Justin’s not too sure how it happens, but he’s now on the dance floor with Brian. They are dancing, again, it couldn’t be more different from Babylon. They’re not grinding and bumping; they’re gliding across the floor in a formal stance. It feels so good to be in his arms again. Justin’s cheeks hurt from all the smiling he’s doing. Weirdest thing is, Brian is smiling too. Not grinning or smirking; he’s honest to God smiling a happy smile. Justin wants to kiss him, desperately, but he doesn’t dare to. Perhaps Brian is just here as a friend, as a ‘f*ck you’ to the heteros he dislikes so much; maybe Lindsay guilted him into it. f*ck, if that’s why he’s here he’s going to kill her.

His thoughts must show on his face, because Brian holds Justin tighter and whispers in his ear,

“Don’t overthink it, Sunshine; just enjoy this. We’ll talk later.”

With the promise of a ‘later’, Justin relaxes into Brian’s embrace. He doesn’t remember ever dancing quite like this, not even in his living room with his mom. People around him disappear; there’s no one except the two of them. Even if nothing comes out of this, this is the best night of his life. It gets even better when Brian finally kisses him, deeply, with no shame or apologies. He kisses him like they used to kiss at Woody’s or Babylon.

They part, both a little stunned and panting. The crowd reappears, and Justin feels awkward.

“So, Sunshine, ready to get out of here?” Of course he is. He promised Daphne two hours; he’s more than delivered. f*ck, Daphne!

“Huh, I can’t. I came with Daphne and I need to get her home. Maybe we can meet after?”

Brian is about to answer but Daphne interrupts. “Are you kidding me? I’ll get a ride, do not worry about me one second.”

Justin still isn’t sure. It feels wrong to abandon her here. She hugs him tight and says in a low voice.

“Go with your man and tell me all about it tomorrow.” She winks at him once she’s released him and glares at Brian. “Don’t mess with him.” Brian nods solemnly.

Finally, they’re alone together. Justin can’t resist; he pulls Brian down for another kiss. He has no idea what Brian being here means; he just wants to enjoy every second of it.

“I can’t believe you showed up,” Justin says in awe.

“Disappointed?” Brian looks almost nervous which is very endearing.

“Are you kidding me? This is the best night of my life. Thank you.”

Something passes over Brian’s face, a mix of relief and tenderness. If he ever had any doubt, Justin’s now sure he’s in love with him. He gets nervous. What if Brian just wants to f*ck? Is he going to get his heart broken again?

“Come on, let’s go. We’ll talk at the loft.”

If they’re going to the loft, it must mean he’s not about to be rejected. And Brian wants to talk? Must be a good sign!

#

When they reach the jeep, Brian backs Justin against it. He kisses him much more passionately than what he allowed himself in there. Justin is panting into his mouth and he can feel the blond’s hard-on against his thigh. Brian wants nothing more than to f*ck him on the spot but that would probably not be a good idea. Why did he have to mention talking?

“Justin, get in the car before I bend you over the hood.”

Justin groans. f*ck, Brian is rock hard.

“You’re right; let’s go.”

A very silent, very tense drive later, they’re both at the loft door. Brian unlocks it, disables the alarm and invites Justin in. Their previous urgency has died down now that the adrenaline from the dance and the kiss is gone. Brian reaches for Justin, impatient to get them back on track. Only Justin stops him with a hand on his chest.

“Let’s talk.”

“Can we talk after we f*ck?” It’s worth a try.

“Brian, you’re killing me here. You said we would talk and even though I really want you to f*ck me, I need to know something first.”

sh*t. They are so going to have a lesbian talk about their feelings, aren’t they?

“OK, talk.”

“What do you want?” Huh?

“I made that clear already, Sunshine. I. Want. To. f*ck. You.” He comes closer with each word, almost desperate to get out of this conversation. Brian always does his best talking with his mouth shut. Why can’t they let their bodies talk and reunite without the lesbianic sh*t?

“So that’s all this is to you? Just f*cking?” Brian is tempted to deflect him again, to throw out some sarcastic bullsh*t. Surely no f*ck, even as hot and satisfying as it is with Justin is worth going through this. One look at Justin’s face though and all his funny retorts go to sh*t. He’s so damn open and vulnerable. Has Brian himself ever been that way? Ironic how Justin is supposed to be the kid in this – f*ck – relationship, but in so many ways he’s way more mature than Brian. The way he rammed it home to him on his birthday, the way he stands up to him for what he wants? The kid is so f*cking brave, fearless almost.

Drawing from Justin’s courage, Brian decides to just bite the bullet and be real for once.

“Do you think I voluntarily associated with a bunch of 18 years old dressed in tacky rented tux and cheap taffeta for a f*ck?” He’s still Brian f*cking Kinney; of course he’s not going to give him a straight answer.

“I guess not.” Damn, the kid still doesn’t look convinced.

“Look Justin, I’m not sure what you’re expecting here. I came tonight because I wanted to, because I’ve missed you. I-” He’s come this far; he might as well just go for it.

“Listen, we’re not dykes; we’re not your parents or anything, so don’t expect any hetero bullsh*t. If we’re going to be together it’s because we want to be; there's no locks on the door. I won’t stop f*cking anyone for you; do you have a problem with that?”

“Nope, just as long as you f*ck because you want to, because it’s giving you pleasure. Please don’t do it to hurt me or to prove a point. If you need space or whatever, tell me.”

Fair enough. Talking is not something Brian does, except sometimes with Mikey when he’s high or drunk. Justin’s request is not unreasonable though. He can try at least to ask for a break instead of just pushing him away harshly. He nods his assent and releases a heavy breath. Christ, why does it feel like a huge weight has been released from his chest?

“So you missed me huh?”

The teasing glint in Justin’s eyes tells him that he’s not seriously asking. He’s merely diffusing the tension and Brian is thankful for the reprieve. All this emotional bullsh*t made him lose his hard-on; he’s eager to get back to where they were before.

“Twat,” Brian replies with undisguised affection.

A bright smile illuminates Justin’s face and nothing else matters anymore - not Lindsay’s words or what anyone might think about him being with an 18-year-old. Before Brian knows it, his arms are suddenly full of Justin. The kid is kissing his cheek, his neck, climbing him like a tree.

“Can I f*ck you now?”

Justin kisses him on the mouth this time, one hand in his hair, the other already unbuckling his pants. That’s probably a yes. They stumble into the bedroom, shirts half open, pants pooling around their ankles. They take a quick break to get completely naked and kiss once more. Brian hates himself for the relief that floods through him at feeling Justin’s naked skin under his hands. He really did miss the God damn twat.

They spend some time just making out, rubbing their co*cks together, enjoying being together again. When they are too turned on to wait anymore, Brian grabs some lube and condoms. He turns Justin to his side and places himself flush against his back. Some might say they’re almost spooning; of course, that’s not what Brian’s doing. He just wants to feel as much as Justin’s body against his as he can.

He pushes two lubed fingers into Justin and hears him sigh deeply. He is so f*cking tight. To relax him, he sucks on his neck, and Justin turns his head to give him better access. The kid is already a moaning mess against him, ass pushing back against his fingers, at the same time grinding on his co*ck. Brian can’t wait anymore; he has to be inside him, now. One hand on Justin’s hip to hold him still and one hand putting the condom on, and Brian’s ready. He aligns himself with Justin and thrusts in. Justin cries out, more out of pain than pleasure.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just – it’s been a while.”

“Yeah, right.” He chuckles. Brian has seen Justin in the backroom more than a few times, he knows the blond has not been celibate since their last time together.

“No I mean-“ Justin blushes and hides his face in the pillow. Oh. Come to think of it, he’s only seen Justin getting blown or f*cking someone but never… Justin seems to feel Brian’s understanding. He raises his head again and grabs Brian by the neck to pull him into a heated kiss.

“Yeah, only you.” And f*ck this should not make Brian harder; it should not make him buck inside Justin’s ass and grasp the boy’s hip tighter. It should not. Yet it does.

After that, they fall into a rhythm pretty easily. Brian pushes into Justin, alternating between biting his neck and shoulder and kissing him. Justin has a hand on Brian’s cheek in a gesture so tender, Brian almost wants to push it away. He doesn’t though; he just thrusts harder and puts one hand around Justin’s hard co*ck. He strokes him slowly, not ready to have him come yet.

All too soon, Justin is pushing back against Brian, begging for his release. The older man is not faring better, probably leaving bruises all over Justin’s hips from his tight grasp. Right when he feels Justin’s contracting around his co*ck, org*sm impending, Brian distinctly hears him whisper,

“God, I love you.”

Brian feels his whole body going cold at the words. Except in the next second, Justin is coming all over his hand, and his already tight ass has a death grip on his co*ck, and Brian too is coming, the world going black for a minute.

#

“I meant it, you know.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know, earlier, when I said I love you.”

Brian squirms next to him, clearly uncomfortable with where the discussion is going.

“Look, Justin-“

“No, I don’t need another one of your speeches about how you don’t do love or whatever, I know where we stand now; I just wanted you to know how I feel. Is that OK?”

Justin hates how shy and unsure he sounds at this moment. Brian only nods. He does mean it. Sure, he would love for Brian to say it back, but he knows now what’s important. Maybe they’ll get there someday, Justin hopes. But Brian has already conceded to a lot and Justin’s not going to push him more. Brian admitting that he wants to be with him may seem pretty tame, but Justin knows how much it cost him. He’ll be patient.

“There’s still something we need to settle.”

“Christ, didn’t we talk enough for a whole year? You’re making my dick soft.”

“Oh, shut up. Just answer this, and I promise I’ll be your good bottom boy.”

“OK, shoot.” Of course, Brian cannot say this without smiling widely, smug bastard.

“What do I call you?”

“Huh, is this where you ask me to be your daddy? Because we’ve already established months ago that that’s not my thing.”

“No, jerk. I meant, if I introduce you to someone, I say, ‘this is Brian’ and then what?”

“And then nothing.”

“Come on, do you want people to think you’re my pimp or just this creepy old guy that keeps touching me?”

“f*ck you. I’m neither old nor creepy.”

“OK, Mr. Obtuse. What I’m asking is, can I call you my boyfriend?”

Brian winces. Justin knew it was going to be a hard sell. He feels foolish for wanting the words, the label, but he’s not like Brian. He doesn’t have the ‘f*ck’em’ attitude. He’s out and proud, but that doesn’t prevent him from wanting ‘normal’ stuff as well, to blend in, experience it all.

“Can’t you just be the guy I f*ck more than once?”

Before he can school his features, Justin's face falls. He should have known this was too much. He’d better shut up now before Brian regrets everything. He forces a smile back on his face and nods.

“Yeah, sure, perfect. Now, how can this good bottom boy be of service?”

Without giving Brian time to think, Justin licks his lips before kissing him deeply. He’s diverting his attention from the conversation, Justin knows, but he needs them back in the playful, sexy mood they shared before he opened his big mouth. He moves on to licking Brian’s throat and continues lower, to his collarbone. He’s reached the indentation of Brian’s abs when he feels the older man pulling him back up.

Brian waits a second and opens his mouth to speak. “OK.”

“OK what?” Brian sighs; apparently he hadn’t planned on elaborating.

“Boyfriend. In a non-defined, non-conventional way, yeah, OK.” Brian says, tongue in cheek, seeming almost nervous.

“Yeah, OK.“ Justin echoes. He then leans in and kisses Brian, in a vain attempt to cover up the face-splitting smile he’s sporting. Soon, neither of them cares about labels or anything other than getting lost in each other.